How to deal with a DON who is DEMEANING, aka Destructive Critisism

[Nursekrn7]

I am submitting this discussion because I need advice. Its my boss. She is the Director of Nursing in a LTC facility. I was an LPN which i have been employed for the past 4 years. I recently came back full time in June when i completed my 2year RN degree. Since i have returned, i have been training as a Charge Nurse on a dementia unit 7a-3pm Monday-Friday. I recently took my NCLEX on september 9th and passed 75 questions!! :)

Now i have always known that she is very very nasty when she is angry. It is really so hard to describe her. She is moody as hell! Its really hard to describe how she really is unless you have experienced a morning report with her. All she does, is Criticize other departments (mostly recreation) about how much of a crappy job they do, and blames every single AI (accident/incident report) of falls or resident verbal/physical altercations on how much it is their fault! she spends soo much time talking about how they should be running the department! how she wants the department to run!

Meanwhile the residents LOVE theyr activities, and the Director of Recreation does such a great job doing what he does, she just loves to point the finger! she spends time verbally BASHING staff , (other nurses) if they 1. make a mistake 2. just so happen to become "nurse of the month" to pick on. or 3. do or say ANYTHING opposing to her thoughts/wishes/actions/interventions/ SHE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY CONTROLLING! SHE controlls WHO works WHERE! usually other facilities have secretary or assistants for things like that, NO SHE HAS THE FINAL SAY.

The above things i mentioned arent even what is the worst part. The worst part is, she is insulting and unprofessional during meetings in front of other nurses, supervisors even if you are just discussing whats going on on your unit! even if you are speaking professionally! or un-opposing, she is SO UNNAPPROACHABLE!!! she bends policy and procedure ALL THE TIME! makes up her own rules, NEGLECTS to put it in writing, than if an accident or incident occurs, she backs down on her word and denies ever making up such a statement, even though she has voiced these interventions amoung other people! she does not give CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM which i actually appreciate from ANY Nurse Supervisor, what she does is more like DESTRUCTIVE criticism. These actions display intimidation to others! She seems to put FEAR in people, and believes that pushing fear on her staff will create a better nurse? THATS CRAP!!! For me, it creates ANXIETY, STRESS, and ZERO DESIRE to sit in that morning report and listen to ANYTHING she has to say because it is ALL negative and not beneficial.. while creating extra stress and anxiety for all!

I have been working in this Nursing Home for 13 years. I started as A recreational Aide , Then worked my way up a ladder and became Recreational director, than an LPN. Now working on the floors, doing my meds, treatments and working with more hands on patient care, i didn't have to deal too much with her, bc as i forgot to mention she BARELY MAKES ROUNDS, only when State Inspection is approaching. Her rationale for not making rounds on a daily basis is bc " I do not want to go upstairs and see everything that everyone is doing wrong, and get myself upset and have my day ruined" assuming the worst and thinking negative assuming that NOONE knows what they are doing! if that's the case, why not as the DON CORRECT the things that she sees and observed not being done correctly and give CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM.?? Beats me.

I ask this of my fellow nurses reading this entry. I need advice about how to go about this? I am hesitant to go to another Nursing home for a few reasons, 1st being I have been there for SO Long as a staff member, started from the bottom, and worked my way up, and earned everything that I have now! I worked hard, I still do and am so grateful for the experience I have earned at my job! I started at the age of 18, and knew immediately since then that I was born to be a nurse! I know my patients so well, and know the facility do's and don'ts inside and out. state inspection is approaching and i am unsure if applying to another LTC facilty (being that its state season) working in a NEW facility isnt a recipe for disaster, but i am so tired of the terrible guidance and leadership that my DON displays on a daily basis! the constant disrespect is TERRIBLE! I have no voice what so ever! NO supervisor or Nurse Manager can make any type of emergency decision with out her approval! HOw is that in any way shape or form good for an RN to grow? its almost impossible for anyone to stand on there own two feet! and plus the disrespect and unprofessional slander is never ending bc Administration allows her to get away with it! I really wish some of you can witness how demeaning this woman is and how she treats people is PURE EVIL! its sad and a viscous cycle!

I would really appreciate some of your opinions and feedback regaiurding this matter!! thanks for your time and patience!!

[cleback]

I understand you just needed a good vent. she sounds like a difficult person to work with, much less have as a boss. Sometimes you wonder how people like that get to a supervisory role. I hope you find a way to tolerate her or find a new facility.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

Yep- take that RN and go somewhere else.

[Nursekrn7]

thank you! yes i scratch my head in awe wondering how and why the higher-ups allow her to get away with treating people like this. I am applying and keeping my eyes open for something better to come along! I do take into consideration that she does have alot on her plate as the DON, but human being is a human being. Respect people, and be kind

[kakamegamama]

Meanwhile, congratulations on your achievement. Sorry you have someone to work with her is less than pleasant & I wish you best in your future endeavors!

[ponymom]

Just ask her why she is like this..

[Nursekrn7]

i wish i could. I have contemplated asking her and talking to her about this matter in private. i am sure her reply wil either be something very nasty and negative or.. just as simple as "i am who i am and im not changing" maybe one day it i will bring it to her attention

[allnurses Admin Team]

Many posts removed.

Thread closed for review.