How can I tell if I am having new nurse jitters or if I am really not cut out for nursing.
For those who read my When does it get better thread you know what I am going through. BTW, I started seeing a counselor this week and he is strongly recommending anti-depressants. I am going to the Doctor tomorrow and talk to her about all this. I know I needed help but the moment I started snapping, getting mad at my daughter, yelling at her, grabbing her and hitting her out of frustration was the moment I said enough is enough already I am getting help. If not for me then for her but I do REALLY want it for me too. It just took seeing what I was doing to her for me to stop being so stubborn to seek help.
I was so happy the day I graduated from nursing schoo back in Mayl then that happiness turned into sadness and bitterness when I found out I had to work on a medical surgical floor. I am sooooo overwhelmed on that floor having up to 8-10 patients is some serious stuff for those who don't know. For those who know you understand all about it.I constantly fear what if I miss this, what if I miss that. I STILL have NOT been able to sucessfully start an IV. I have came close a few times though. I get really fearful when it comes time to get ready to start an IV. I try so hard to block out my previous failures at starting one but it is hard for me not too.
I feel as though I am not a good critical thinker at all. I don't know how to improve my critical thinking skills. Deep down I REALLY think I have what it takes to be a good nurse and Deep Down I think I can find my Niche and get into an area I enjoy. However, right now I am really anxious, worried, skeptical, doubtful, fearful, obessessing. I obsess about work when I am NOT at work. I have had a 7 day stretch. Tomorrow I go back for 3 in a row. I have been Obessing about work the WHOLE entire time I have been off and I try not too. Christmas is coming up and I am trying to get into the spirit but so far I have not been able to because of all the stress I am having from my job and the depression:o
Even though I made it through nursing school and passed boards after the second time:imbar I feel like I am not intelligent enough to be a nurse. Like I don't know what I am doing half the time. I do ask questions when there is something I don't know. I feel as though people are laughing behind my back because of the questions I ask though. One girl I work with tell me that people have been talking about me.
So how does one really tell if it is just new nurse jitters or they are not cut out for nursing.
I totally know where you are coming from...and the sad part is that I've been a nurse for four years now!!! I've reached the conclusion that my problem is anxiety... I am so much like you...always worrying if I have missed something, forgot something, or accidently harmed my patient in some way. I've gotten a little bit better...but I find when I have a bad night...I get on this "find a new career thing"...as you can see...I just posted a question about finding a job with animals...LOL. I don't know if I really mean it...but..like you...I get freaked out about going to work sometimes. I have never been called for doing something wrong, ever....and I always get good reviews at my performance appraisal. I do think that part of my problem is self-esteem. I worry about what I'll have to do at work on any given night...will I have to start an IV and not be able to get it??, will a patient crump on me??? I think I've gotten to the point where it's unhealthy...although I think a little bit of this attitude is good...it keeps you in check and proves that you truly do want to be a good nurse. Like others have said...give it some time...and cut back on your hours...or at least the 7 in a row thing...that's enough to fry anyone. I am thinking about going to the doc. also and seeing if I can get some help for my anxiety.. I wish you luck and if you need someone to talk to you , you can pm me anytime...:kiss
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
It took me over 6 years to finally feel confident with IV starts.....now I'm the one people come to when they can't get a line in! But it sure didn't happen overnight, and the only way to become good at a thing is to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Even so, there are days when I can't get a 22-gauge in a garden hose, just as there are days when I can hit a shriveled-up 98-year-old hand vein with an 18-gauge angiocath from across the room.
As for the rest......please give yourself a break! You cannot be expected to know everything right out of school, nor can you expect it of yourself. I work with nurses who have 30+ years of experience and still don't know it all, nor do they pretend to. The knowledge base is continuously growing........there is NO WAY any of us will ever know everything there is to know about nursing. In five years, you'll be talking about the "old days" when things were done a certain way, and you'll feel like a dinosaur next to the "newbies" fresh out of nursing school who have been taught an entirely different way!
Be gentle with yourself........you are obviously a caring person with a lot to offer our profession. You may still need to do some searching for your particular niche, but that's one of the things that make nursing such a great career---there's so much flexibility within the profession, there must surely be a place for you.
I have been a nurse for 7+ years and just recently started in Med / Surg for the first time!! Well...to make a long story short I went to one of the night supervisors and told her that I wasn't sure that I was smart enough for all this and she told me that she nevers worries about me because I am not afraid to say "I don't know". :imbar So...my advice in a nutshell: 1. Know what you don't know. :)
2. And "fake it till you make it"
3. Hang in there...but the minute you quit worrying about the huge responsibilty nursing is may be the day you should quit.
4. And if where you are working is not more supportive think of somewhere else...you will find your niche!
News Flash. You do not HAVE to work there. My dear there are other nursing jobs. This one is all wrong for a new grad.
You need a preceptor who is not over worked and over stressed who will work with you and help you will skills like starting IVs and critical thinking.
More than that you need to be in a friendlier enviorment that is a lot less stressful and more supportive.
Leave. For someone to say,"people have been talking," about you should tell you two things. The person telling you this is no supporter. Anyone who tollerates this is abusing you. This is clearly agressive behavior. NO ONE IS BORN A NURSE. Everyone including your detractors needs nurishing as a new nurse. Get you tail out of there pronto. And never again feel you HAVE to take anything.
It's funny when I took the management class last semester, we had a case study that was EXACTLY your situation... struggling new nurse with insufficient support... the problem was defined as POOR MANAGEMENT and the solution was to leave and find a more supportive environment in which to learn... Agnus is completely right! You deserve to be somewhere where you (and your skills) will be nurtured and oriented in a competent manner. Please don't give up or blame yourself!
As for IVs, I learned when I was in paramedic school and it took me the longest of all the students because I simply psyched myself out completely! You know the old saying "practice makes perfect"! Maybe you could follow the IV team (these are the experts)at your hospital for a couple of hours once and a while to get some good hands on tips!
Well...to make a long story short I went to one of the night supervisors and told her that I wasn't sure that I was smart enough for all this and she told me that she nevers worries about me because I am not afraid to say "I don't know". :imbar So...my advice in a nutshell: 1. Know what you don't know. :) 
IloveSnoopy
187 Posts
Hi,
I totally know where you are coming from...and the sad part is that I've been a nurse for four years now!!! I've reached the conclusion that my problem is anxiety... I am so much like you...always worrying if I have missed something, forgot something, or accidently harmed my patient in some way. I've gotten a little bit better...but I find when I have a bad night...I get on this "find a new career thing"...as you can see...I just posted a question about finding a job with animals...LOL. I don't know if I really mean it...but..like you...I get freaked out about going to work sometimes. I have never been called for doing something wrong, ever....and I always get good reviews at my performance appraisal. I do think that part of my problem is self-esteem. I worry about what I'll have to do at work on any given night...will I have to start an IV and not be able to get it??, will a patient crump on me??? I think I've gotten to the point where it's unhealthy...although I think a little bit of this attitude is good...it keeps you in check and proves that you truly do want to be a good nurse. Like others have said...give it some time...and cut back on your hours...or at least the 7 in a row thing...that's enough to fry anyone. I am thinking about going to the doc. also and seeing if I can get some help for my anxiety.. I wish you luck and if you need someone to talk to you , you can pm me anytime...:kiss