How can I stop being so scared and shy?

svb1414 · Jan 28, 2012

I would remember that you probably have so much to add to group in your head now you just have to say it out loud.everyone is in the same boat as you & would probably appreciate for you to give input too. Think of others & how you contribute takes all the pressure off them. Other people are wishing you would contribute. Don't be afraid of being wrong because it shows you don't know everything. The nurses I worry about are the ones who think they know everything & have done everything when they are students just like you.

megan1019 · Jan 28, 2012

I am just like you. I never stepped out of the box and did something that I wanted to do because I was so shy. Well this past week at clinicals I was bored just sitting around, and my teacher asked for 3 volunteers and I jumped up and went. I am so glad I went because I got to participate in a birth and watch a C-section. I was the only one in the class that got to do it. If you don't get over being shy you may miss out on wonderful opportunities. I know it is hard, but you can do it. Be confident!

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2012

Try to do one thing a month out of your comfort zone. It can be as simple as making eye contact with and saying hello to a stranger, or volunteering for a project you would never do.

Eventually you can make it twice a month, then every week.

I had to give a speech the other day with another nurse in front of the CEO's of 5 different hospitals and THE CEO of our organization. I had to remind myself that I wasn't doing it alone, and even if I was, it was only 10 min out of my life. I knew the matererial and I did just fine. You will too. :)

Ayvah, RN · Jan 29, 2012

I have trouble with speaking to groups as well - I overthink/overanalyze/over-worry. What I've found helps for me is to get it done and over with asap - request to be the first presentation as much as possible, that way I don't have time to get worked up over it, I just get it done. I've found when I have to wait to give a presentation, that only gives me more time to stress myself out over it.

Another thing I do when speaking with groups is to not look at individual people's eyes, look at objects right next to them (so that it appears you are looking at people when you really aren't), that way it will feel a little less personal to you so you can detach yourself a bit.

RNGriffin · Jan 29, 2012

This is a general issue. In nursing, working with the general public, you have to remember it's your job to be personable & knowledgeable. As long as you speak of what you are certain of, ask questions for that you are skeptical of; you should be fine.

I've never been reserved. But, you always have to remember these are individuals, as yourself. You will be judged whether you speak or remain silent. Be assertive and go for what you want!

New Yorker attitude!

Dumplins, MSN, RN, APN · Jan 29, 2012

be prepared. know the information you're talking about. it's easier to get flustered on stuff when you're unsure.

if you're presenting in front of a big class, dont worry. remember that not everyone is paying attention to you (that's how i like to think of it anyway..helps me. haha).

a tip i used to use, before i got more comfortable, was to look at the back wall and focus on it as if i were presenting to the wall. kind of makes you feel like you're not presenting to anyone. if you want to make it look like you're making eye contact with people, when you talk and look around, look at the top of their heads instead.

if you slip up on your words or make a mistake, dont get flustered. take a deep breath, recollect yourself, and continue.

mrmedical, ASN, BSN · Jan 29, 2012

I too have dealt with social anxiety in the past and still do sometimes especially when doing large group presentations or the like.

The thing to realize is where does this anxiety stem from. For most of us as introverts whom it affects, social anxiety and shyness stems from out EGO. We have such a profound and high standard (whether we are cognizant of it or not) of ourselves in that we are afraid to be embarrassed or to speak out in fear of having our ego hurt through being ostracized or scrutinized or we actually think that people really care that much about what we have to say.

For us shy folk, part of overcoming that social anxiety is realizing, as jerkish as it may seem, that most other people really don't care what you have to say in the long term. Your peers are just their to listen to you give a 5 to 10 minute spiel then go home off to their own lives.

Coming into the realization that people don't give as much investment in things as you do, makes that part of your personality more pliable and less prone to being so uptight and frightened.

I suppose the take away message is this: shyness with anxiety stems from within, it's a defense for one's own insecurities, acceptance that what you say or how you present yourself to your peers really does not impact them as much as you think it does.

Much like a group picture, every one thinks they are the ugly one in it, but from an outsiders perspective, you look pretty good.

zenman · Jan 29, 2012

Take an acting class, then act. Eventually...no problem.

goats'r'us, ASN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

i'm a terrible public speaker, and sometimes i get flustered and start panicing just making a semi-important phone call because i so want to make the right impression and say the right thing!

but, i've learned that the people who actually care about what i'm saying aren't super interested in the flawless delivery. generally i start, stumble over my words, laugh at myself, and then everyone relaxes a bit and i can get over myself and say what i have to say, safe in the knowledge that i've already messed up and nobody shot me.

nursecat64 · Jan 29, 2012

:eek: :eek:Picture them in their underwear :eek: :eek:

Art_Vandelay · Jan 29, 2012

..........