How can I help my friend do better on exams? Please read description.

justgonnagoforit · Jun 9, 2016

Hi Nevergiveup. I don't do well in study groups. I'm much better off in a quiet area all by myself. Sometimes I get too taken up with trying to figure out how the others in the group are learning, then try it their way - and then I get all screwed up. I record all of my lectures and take copious notes from that. I'll listen to lectures as much as I can prior to a test.

Has your friend always had bad test grades? Maybe she, like me, has terrible test anxiety and needs to have that addressed. You are a good friend for trying so hard to help her! Let us know how it goes.

cirqul8r · Jun 9, 2016

Test anxiety can really bring down her grades and increase anxiety. Maybe talking to a counselor at school or seeing if there is a student help department. My daughter had problems with math anxiety and especially the tests, she went to a center at the college that gave her assistance and also allowed her to have music while she took her exams. Of course, without that department's ok, she would not have been allowed the earbuds for tests. Something to look into. Wish I could remember the department name, but I would hope every campus has something similar. BTW, she made Dean's List every quarter after that.

nevergiveup2016 · Jun 9, 2016

Hi Nevergiveup. I don't do well in study groups. I'm much better off in a quiet area all by myself. Sometimes I get too taken up with trying to figure out how the others in the group are learning, then try it their way - and then I get all screwed up. I record all of my lectures and take copious notes from that. I'll listen to lectures as much as I can prior to a test.
Has your friend always had bad test grades? Maybe she, like me, has terrible test anxiety and needs to have that addressed. You are a good friend for trying so hard to help her! Let us know how it goes.

Well thats the thing I've asked her hey is this just not for you. Do you need to study alone instead? And she'll say no it really helps me and I dont know if she says that cause she don'twant to hurt my feelings because it helps me... I don't know if I'm taking too much charge and I should sit back and let her teach me instead.. Her grades like mine have always been lower. This is the first semester I'm excelling in. She's super into the semester too.. so i know it's not due to disinterest. I know a large part is testing. So I've told her to review her exams and she won't.. But I'm at a loss. She's smart I know she is.

dorkypanda · Jun 10, 2016

Hi Nevergiveup. I don't do well in study groups. I'm much better off in a quiet area all by myself. Sometimes I get too taken up with trying to figure out how the others in the group are learning, then try it their way - and then I get all screwed up. I record all of my lectures and take copious notes from that. I'll listen to lectures as much as I can prior to a test.
Has your friend always had bad test grades? Maybe she, like me, has terrible test anxiety and needs to have that addressed. You are a good friend for trying so hard to help her! Let us know how it goes.

What you wrote sounds like how I am. I can't be around others I absorb the information differently from others. And even hours before the exam there's people quizzing each other and I can't be in their presence either. I have noticed that doing a lot of nclex style questions does also help and having more than 5 hours of sleep is great. I once had less than 5 hours and didn't do too good.

mrphil79 · Jun 11, 2016

They teach lifeguards something along the line of 'don't drown yourself trying to save someone who is drowning.'

I'm not saying to give up on your friend/study buddy. But you have to realize that you are responsible for yourself. I've been in the position you are in - I had a study buddy that was struggling a LOT in a class, and I bent over backwards to change how I studied and learned the material because I was worried about having to help her earn her grade. It made the class much harder on me than it needed to be, and I spent a lot of time studying "her way" so she could understand it better that I basically had to go back through the material on my own separately so I understood it the way I wanted to.

If she's not getting it - you have to find the line between helping her to understand it, and hindering your own process of understanding it. Wherever you need to draw that line, you shouldn't feel guilty about not crossing it when she is struggling.

nevergiveup2016 · Jun 11, 2016

They teach lifeguards something along the line of 'don't drown yourself trying to save someone who is drowning.'
I'm not saying to give up on your friend/study buddy. But you have to realize that you are responsible for yourself. I've been in the position you are in - I had a study buddy that was struggling a LOT in a class, and I bent over backwards to change how I studied and learned the material because I was worried about having to help her earn her grade. It made the class much harder on me than it needed to be, and I spent a lot of time studying "her way" so she could understand it better that I basically had to go back through the material on my own separately so I understood it the way I wanted to.
If she's not getting it - you have to find the line between helping her to understand it, and hindering your own process of understanding it. Wherever you need to draw that line, you shouldn't feel guilty about not crossing it when she is struggling.

Well when i see my grades now if I was to fail a test this semester and we changed our habits. If it didnt help her I'd probably just say heeyyyy can we do it how we did it before. I know the main thing is I'm teaching her the material and that's why I'm grasping it so well. I did well when I taught my husband even though he gave two flying flips about what I was saying. But here's the thing I read the book before and she says she does too so I trust she does. So I have things that I've read in the book then I pull out powerpoints and we just discuss through it. I stop if something is a bit more intense and say we aren't going anywhere till we understand this. Then after we've ran through our chapters I do a quiz with her. So for example a child comes in with abdominal pain what do you do? And she'll ask all these questions to get more info. She'll tell me with what she asked what she thinks it is and then she gives me other things it could be. Then I'll give something up and she'll be able to get what I'm asking for. She knows her stuff so I don't know whats happening between studying really well the night prior and taking an exam about 15 hours later.... I don't know if after we say goodbyes if she goes home and lounges andthat's great but I always study more. But I dont really want to change how we study because I'm doing really well for once... that might be selfish and in the end I might just be teaching my husband if I want to continue to do well...

pmabraham, BSN, RN · Jun 11, 2016

So I've told her to review her exams and she won't.. But I'm at a loss. She's smart I know she is.

My personal experience is that reviewing exams, especially after one does poorly, is crucial. One on one with the professor. Be open with the though process as why answers were picked so that the professor can provide correction to the thought process as well as going over the rationales for correct answers.

nevergiveup2016 · Jun 11, 2016

My personal experience is that reviewing exams, especially after one does poorly, is crucial. One on one with the professor. Be open with the though process as why answers were picked so that the professor can provide correction to the thought process as well as going over the rationales for correct answers.

That was exactly what I told her. Plus you can discuss why you thought B was the answer. Sometimes it's not that what you answered is incorrect but its not the BEST choice. I also told her if it's not know material then you don't know it. But if it is getting confused on something or poor choosing than that can be fixed by going over it. I always review exams I do very poor on because I want to know what really went wrong in the test.. did I just not prepare enough or what? A lot of the time you see that you choosed a stupid answer when if you would have just read closer you could do better. I told her undrrline top things in the question. I told her dont answer a question if you're unsure. I always go from right to wrong. So if I don't mark it then I won't second guess myself.

pmabraham, BSN, RN · Jun 11, 2016

I'm not at my regular computer so I don't have the link handy but if you search on YouTube for "why did I fail at nursing exam" there is an excellent video that really boost up the number of points I get each exam.

nevergiveup2016 · Jun 11, 2016

I'm not at my regular computer so I don't have the link handy but if you search on YouTube for "why did I fail at nursing exam" there is an excellent video that really boost up the number of points I get each exam.

I will try and find it so I can let her know! Thank you!

LJR89 · Jun 16, 2016

By how you describe, it seems like she's doing fine. If she likes the way you two are studying, and tells you it helps, then I don't think you should spend too much more of your energy trying to fix her situation. Especially if you've given her other advice and she hasn't tried it, that's not your fault. You playing the teaching role sounds mutually beneficial by your description. If you think that's what is getting you you're A's that's awesome. Maybe that's what's keeping her just above passing level and the time teaching is better spent on her than your husband.