How to avoid beating yourself up over every little thing

[kaseykeller]

Hi- I've been reading the forum for a while now but this is my first post. I'm a nursing student in the summer before my senior year- right now I'm taking my MedSurg II clinical/course.

Classes are going fine, I'm receiving A's in the majority of them without too much trouble, but I have had a really difficult time with clinical. I have pretty severe GAD and depression- I've gone on medical leave for that and an eating disorder twice while in college, so I'm graduating a couple years late. I've found that a lot of the technical skills haven't come very quickly to me- I fumble with IV tubing and will shake so badly that I've had to repeat blood sugars. One or two patients have noticed how anxious I get (I try to keep a poker face but the anxiety slips through sometimes) and comment on it. It gets a lot worse if I'm being watched by my clinical instructor. I'll spend my days after clinical and weekends ruminating on all that I've done wrong, how stupid I am and how I'll never be a good nurse because of it.

I know that the anxiety is a serious problem and that I may just not learn the skills as quickly as some of my classmates. My clinical instructor said that I was a little behind on the skills portion (there wasn't an opportunity to practice a lot of the skills while on my first rotation in a nursing facility) but that I was catching up and progressing just fine. Patients have mentioned to me that I do a good job. I've gotten a LOT better but I know it interferes with giving the best care. I'm obsessed with the idea that I'm "behind" the other students and that I'll never catch up and will graduate not knowing what I need to know. Have any of you struggled with this in the past? How did you deal with it? Thank you!!

[RN403, BSN, RN]

I used to get very shaky when doing something for the first time and especially while doing something in front of my instructors or when I felt fellow students were watching because I always felt that I was doing something wrong. What helped me was a) being open with instructors that I knew I could trust and b) going to the simulation lab like it was my job. If you can, I would go to your simulation lab during open hours (if you have them) or ask to make some sort of arrangements so that you can become comfortable doing different tasks in the lab which will in turn make you more comfortable and hopefully will ease your anxiety when it comes time to do it in the clinical setting.

As time goes on and as you become more comfortable in your practice hopefully the anxiety will simmer down. Try not to beat yourself up. Nobody is perfect and we all learn at our own pace.

As a student, and even as a new nurse, it is easy to focus on what we are doing wrong (which we probably make it seem a lot worse than it really is for ourselves). Learn from your mistakes and move on. Focus on the things that you do right and focus on the kind comments that you have received from your patients.

Do not let negativity consume your thoughts. You are probably a much better future nurse than you give yourself credit for.

I hope that things continue to get better for you.

[BlackBettyRN,OCN]

Are you seeing a therapist or taking any kind of medication for your anxiety? Everyone struggles with learning the practical skills of nursing at first. Usually it just takes time and practice. However, if you actually have a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, it may hinder your ability to practice nursing unless you seek treatment. This is coming from someone with a long history of problems with anxiety; it is not something that you can always work through on your own.

[Stephalump]

One of the biggest lessons I learned in NS was that I do a lot of negative self talk (most of the time without even realizing it) and it 100% has an effect on your mental state and your future performance.

I am SUCH a perfectionist that one inevitable mistake can send me spiraling thanks to nerves and letting those "voices" take over. See your mistakes. Take responsibility for them and learn from them. Then tell the anxiety and negativity to shut the heck up, because tomorrow will be a better day if you choose it to be so.

There is always, ALWAYS positive - especially in a learning environment where you're supposed to mess up and learn from it.

[3peas]

I Stephalump summed it up beautifully-for me it comes down to negative self talk and I had/have to stop it. I let the goal of beling perfect get in the way of being proficient and teachable at times. I can't learn from my mistakes or my triumphs if I'm so focused on being perfect. It also helps to have a friend in the program who you can talk to who gets what you are going through.