Death stories?

Midwest4me · May 28, 2005

Weird, bizarre, peaceful or totally memorable occasions that you observed death, any stories?
I've been thinking of writing a post on this board for the past two weeks...but I've been kind of busy---my step-mom died two weeks ago tonight--my real mom died when I was 9 mos. old so I didn't know her--and my step-mom has been pretty special. As a nurse for almost 20 years, most of which wasspent in a charge position in a nursing home, I'd vowed to her and to myself that I'd never place her in a nursing home...but she'd requested it--for the physical therapy she needed after suffering left-sided weakness from a brain tumor found in January this year. And she made tremendous progress with physical therapy--wheeling herself from the room to dining room---The past 4 mos. have been rather hectic and very emotional--from surgery to remove 60% of the tumor(surgeon didn't want to take more for fear of permanently paralyzing her) to 13 radiation treatments to 5 hospitalizations due to nursing errors in one nursing home before I could finally get her into another---lots of stress as you can imagine.....Her niece and I were with her when she passed--thank God for that---she was to come home with Hospice on May 14th--all the equipment was delivered on the 13th but she passed the night of Friday, May 13th. I'd hoped and prayed that I or a family member would be with her when she passed and had hoped it would be at home but at least we were with her in the nursing home. We told her that she didn't need to fight anymore, that we loved her, and she passed. The little contact I did have with the hospice nurse and social worker was good--very kind people--my heartfelt thanks for ALL that you hospice nurses do---it is a very different situation being on the "other side of the fence" as a family member and not as the nurse--I had a very tough time these past 4 mos. watching her decline, then get better, giving me the false hope that she might beat this brain tumor, giving the nurses hell at the first nursing home when they didn't address medical situations that could have been addressed and which resulted in her going to the hospital numerous times....I had GOOD experiences with the hospice nurse, hospice social worker and nursing home nurses at the second nursing home and was thankful for all they did.
Keep up the good work you all do and thanks for all you do.

req_read · Jun 7, 2005

Wow interesting thread! I too have had so many experiences that it is hard to narrow it down. They have went from scary (a little woman pleading for me not to leave her because three men were there to take her, she died 8 minutes later) to very peacefull. Although the scariest story I have ever heard, was long before I was a nurse. My aunt was the farthest thing from religious as you could ever imagine. She would say she believed in God, but just didn't give a d#@n about him! As she lay dying in the hospital she related the story that the old man across the hall died last night. Upon further questioning she related that no one had told her this but about 3 in the morning three men in black came to get him and he didn't want to go. A couple days later she related the woman down the hall had passed, three white figures came for her and she wanted to go. She related the three black figures came into her room and just looked at her and she knew she was next. She was. I do not know how much I think is 100% true in these cases, but there are enough of them that I do beleive that somehow the "other side" is close enough to veiw to people that are close to going to it. Has anyone else experienced the "death in 3's"? If not, it is regularly said around where I work that deaths always happen in "3's" and also the "3 little boys"? It is often considered important enough to pass on to the next shift if any of the pts. have reported seeing "3 little boys/kids"?

3 kids huh? No... never heard that one before. Hm-m-m-m. Dying in 3's though... I've heard that ever since I started working in a hospital back in '69.

Here's an interesting story.

I had an elderly woman in hospice who was lingering and of course we all wondered why. We pieced the following story together after talking to her and various family members.

Her dead husband would come and pick her up in a truck. Together they would drive to a bridge, but she knew if she went across the bridge she would "die," so she would get out of the truck and come back. She said, "It is very beautiful over there, but I'm not going!"

Well of course we wondered why. Then some family members reported "seeing" a strange, olcer man with a funny hat outside one evening, but he disappeared when they went to investigate. Somehow one of the volunteers discovered that the dying woman's father had abused her as a child. I won't go into any details but the gist of the thing seemed to be that she did not want to go where her father was. She eventually did cross over of course, but we still do not know hor or even if the dillema was resolved.

sarah_bellum · Jun 7, 2005

Weird, bizarre, peaceful or totally memorable occasions that you observed death, any stories?
I don't mean to be morbid or anything but I am looking for ways to improve our service in the ICU and put togheter a folder and info. system to help our dear patients.
I'll tell you my last experience soon, got to get over it first!
Thanks!

When I was barely 18, I worked in an extremely small, rural hospital. We had a two bed ICU and there was a hospice patient admitted with cancer.

I can't remember the details of her condition (it was almost 15 years ago) but this has stuck with me for all these years.

Her name was Rose and she was a sweet, beautiful beloved grandmother who amazed me at how she just accepted she was dying. I was still in the "I'm invincible stage" and it struck me at how peaceful and alert she was. I came on shift and I stopped in to she how she was doing, she had been with us for about 3 weeks and I had become very attached to her.

Her pulse was thready and her BP was dropping, it was only a matter of time.

I asked her if she needed anything and she looked my way and stated "You've come to get me haven't you?" I told her no, she was not going anywhere for tests today. She smiled sweetly and said "I'm not talking to you sweetheart" and I realized she was looking over my shoulder. She closed her eyes and was never alert again. She died in about 10 minutes and it was so peaceful.

I have always pondered what I would have seen if I had been brave enough to look over my shoulder. I do believe in angels and I can thank Rose for that.

AlwaysTired · Feb 2, 2007

My Mom's sister was stricken with diphtheria at age 3 (this was back in the 30's even before my Mom was born). She was extremely sick and my grandmother swears that one day she (my grandmother) saw a beautiful little girl wearing a white dress dancing cirlcles around their well outside in the yard. She says every time she walked out on the porch she saw this little girl and that she was the only one that could see her. My aunt died that night. Still gives me chills.

mgalloLPN · Feb 12, 2007

Thanks for sharing these

prowlingMA · Feb 13, 2007

I have personally had dreams about pt.s that we completelyhealthy dying, and wouldn't you know with in a few weeks they died. Happened a couple of times.

To me that hardest death I have dealt with personally was a family members suicide. No way to say good bye, sorrys, nothing.

Flea23 · Feb 16, 2007

I've been a (part time) Hospice RN since 1990. Almost always we notice our patients withdrawing from 'our world' and seeing or talking to people who have died in the past. 99% are comforted by this, we prepared them that this may occur and they seem comforted. I've never heard them speak of 'black' or 'white' people, but curiously, I have heard of the 3 boys alot. or large groups of kids running through! When we see this, we can predict death in 1-6 days.This is with Ca DX only, end stage cardiac's are unpredictable! ,

azlisa · Feb 26, 2007

I personally have had several instances where I heard a deceased pt call my name. My co-workers said I was "hearing things" You bet I was! I beleive that people's spirits do come back to let you know they're ok. I've spoken with a lot of family members, and told them I felt their loved one's presence. I have been told over and over, that they did too. So I do beleive in this phenomon. Lisa W

Leilah75_RN · Feb 26, 2007

i had an experience in the ward where i used to work as an RN. it was the last 4 days of mystay on that hospital, 7:30am-9:30pm shift, when i received a post burr hole client due to acute subdural hemorrhage. He is 87yo. he is a very intelligent man according to his family. typical old english chap who admires to use old english slangs. he a very peaceful man. but at around 7pm, he suddenly changed. he is trying to get out of bed, fighting and cursing everybody (hardcore cursing!) and spitting at everyone. his family witness it and were teary eyed with whats happening.he is treathened that someone will get him and kill him . he needs to stay flat on bed as per doctor's advice for 24hrs. he created a lot of noise, made his roommates really mad at him. it is contraindicated to give him something to alter his LOC since the first 24 hrs is very crucial for assessment. in other words, he gave the night shift a very hard time. he is very calm when i arrived the next day. i stayed with him. he asked me what happened. he knows what he did apparently. he apologized. and he has been praising everyone for the job well done that despite what he did, everyone is still willing to take care of him and are still friendly with him. at 3pm visiting time, he was with his family and again he have been telling them stories about what he did a day before. and how he regretted doing it. and now he feels better. his family and friends were really happy about the development. he's feeling well and chatty. back on his old self again they said. all i have hearded is praise from him the whole day! asking for a cup of tea every 2 hours. saying hello at everyone. then his family left at around 7:30pm. since he doesnt have anyone to talk with, he closed his eyes. i was always inside the room and was chatting with other patients. its a 6 bedded room just infront of the nurses station. when i was delegating my Nursing assistant who to take vital signs, i noticed that his breathing has suddenly become very deep and almost less than 8breaths a minute. then it stopped. immediately i called for help. code blue team arrived in less than 3 minutes on the dot! pronounced dead at 8:30 ++pm! his family is terrified! they wer just talking to him an hour ago and now he is gone! made me think we will never know what will happen next really!

Leilah75_RN · Feb 26, 2007

another story is about 1 of our patient who is aged 97 years old! (yes he is 97 and in the hospital where i used to work we still operate on 100++ y/o patient) he transferred from neuro ICU as DNR (do not resuscitate) state. he stayed in ICU for 2 weeks due to sub-arachnoid hemorrhage but bec of his age, he didnt do well. his 95 years old wife always comes to visit him everyday. they have no kids an no close relatives. basically, they only have each other. he came with us comatose. they have removed the all the breathing tubes and no O2. all he has is IVF and continuous IV pain killer. as usual, with his condition, every shift we are always expecting that he will soon go. his breathing is very labored. all we can do with him is to make him comfortable. and within 2 weeks he stayed what he is. still alive. still comatose. no stimuli to anything. and everyone has given up except his wife. she never misses a day to visit him. she stays on her wheelchair and hold his hand, kiss it and tells him stories and chat with him altho she knows he will not respond. one day, the wife asked if she can stay with him for the night. he is on a private room and we arranged for another bed for his wife to use. that night she stayed with him for the first time since he has been brought to the hospital. at around 6am, he died. with his hands on his wife's hands. his wife is still sleeping when it happened. we woke her up around 7:30 am to inform her about what happened. she didnt say a word. we were all teary eyed. he just waited for her to stay longer with him.

remrimsgems · Mar 24, 2007

I've worked in a hospice before....

I used to admit dead bodies into to the morgue while working in the pathology department at night.

I think that most of the paranormal are true.

But my opinion is that those little kids or deceased family members "visiting" them etc are purely Satan's device (demons) to gain their trust....

The Bible says clearly that we are not to communicate with the "spirits" or the dead.

Hebrews 9:27.." And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:"

Also try to investigate the story of Lazarus in the New Testament.

$02.

MQ Edna · Mar 28, 2007

When I was a nursing student in '75 we admitted a little old lady to a 4 bed ward with CHF and we were rotating tourniquets due to peripheral edema. She improved and the tourniquet tx was dc'd. Her cardiologist said she was improving and could go home soon but she told me that she was going to die. Being the "Nancy Nurse" that I was at the time I reassured her that she was not going to die but that she was well and would be going home soon. After my break that same day I found my patient (who was a no-code) lying in bed with the Bible open, staring at the cross on the wall in front of her and dead as a doornail. Just goes to show you that with all our advances in medicine we don't know everything.