Hi, I have been reading in the Nursing Recovery since my “fall from grace” in 2007.
I self reported to the Board, totally naive of the consequences it would bring, after attempting to detox with the help of my then Ex-Wife, in a Hotel, with 7 days off(On a Travel Nursing Assignment)- addicted to (here goes...) Dilaudid, Hydromorphone, Hydrocodone, and Oxycodone.
Most of which came from an “Rx Happy” Physician in our small town that I frequented(and loved, he was actually a great Doc my Addiction manipulated into an “enabler,” because I was too successful, handsome(Lol), young, and in control to be an addict(which I was the King of Addiction). The rest I STOLE in the form of wastes.
The advent of pyxisTM got me, every nurse swore it couldn’t be true or right- even my Administrator, told me he would personally see this through- I BROKE A LOT OF HEARTS. I let many people down. Guilt led me to self report.
When that BON nurse was going through all my contract, all I could focus on was how rough withdrawals were going to be, and I even asked “could we go over this stuff after rehab,” because I was already feeling dope sick, which she kindly relented. After the investigator, before her, I was mentally defeated and broken.
Fast forward 90 days, and I am out. I cannot stomach facing the board, or their plans for me. Living under their microscope. I “accepted” I wanted a life of sobriety, but not to live on their terms. I had a disease in search of a tx, not a crime in search of a punishment.
I faced felony charges despite them saying Diversion Program + Rehab would spare me, and I entered a Court Diversion Program that let me buy my way out of trouble for $3000 plus “restitution” of $450, and court costs of $550. 24 months of calling once a month, and random screens.
I was terrified, I had lost my career. What good was I? My wife left me(infidelity with someone she thought a better “catch,” I know I brought shame to my family...
I accepted my “consequences” one by one until I accepted this is a “disease process.”
I said a prayer, then surrendered my Life. I bit down hard, and decided I was strong enough for Nursing and the Education it took to get me there, I WOULD SUCCEED AGAIN- SOMEHOW.
I would start again! Right then, I applied for every menial job. I stocked shelves at Walmart, and a popular Pet store, lol, for no more than $8.50/hr. My cousin worked as a Wastewater Operator. He told me about water, “The Best Kept Secret in Industry.”
I took a part time job, working in Water Treatment(at $19/hr) that quickly became full-time. With-in 3 months, they asked if I was willing to go back to school for Civil or Chemical Engineering- on their dime. I snatched their arm out of it’s socket! Lol!
I worked “DuPont Shifts”(which I miss terribly) at a Power Plant making MORE THAN I EVER MADE AS AN RN!!!! Now I am a Chemical Engineer, and my Retirement is set at 38 yrs old, I am remarried to an Awesome woman, and we are in a Hotel right now in Savannah, Georgia overlooking Bay Street and the River, and I am filled with the gratitude of second chances.
Both my Wife and I grew up in poor homes (MS and AR/MI), and now we are learning the stock market and investment education, as well as starting our own Foundation to care for the Low-country Poor we so often come in contact with.
Now my point! Sorry so long(though I have shown you my naked soul, Lol), You Made it Through Nursing School!!! You proved you can make something out of nothing!
I PROMISE YOU the only one, THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HOLD YOU BACK IS “YOU!” Your microbiology alone will serve you well in water treatment- which averages $50K/year only asking for a HS diploma. I am now at $159K/Yr in a Poor Southeastern State(with great beaches and mountain vistas).
As an aside, you’d never believe how much the Nursing Process helped me in water treatment. Diagnosis of the problem, “ADPIE,” until problem solved! It’s mostly a biological system that treats water, before chemical additives that are simple.
Water is the “New Nursing Shortage.” We need it to live. Think, even during the depression- Utility guys who shut off your power/water still had jobs.
I just want you to continue to use that incredible critical thinking that got you through school, to overcome your obstacles, and lead you to success once- and it will lead you to the next rung even stronger.
Even if that’s not as an LPN/RN/?SN or whatever you made... Heck, CNAs and PCTs have my utmost respect- You can conquer anything if you succeeded at Society’s most taxing call:/.
You are not defeated, and many employers are looking for folks just like you!
A wise human once said, “Don’t show me a successful person! Show me a person that has lost everything, and bounced back to tell the story.”
You did this once, You can do it again, better. No, you can give your “Best.”
Because if “I” did it, anyone can. There were many more obstacles, the only one I disclosed was my addiction. Begin with “End” insight.
You Got This! Surrender your addiction, not your self empowerment!
A Doctorate of Chemical and Hydro Engineering, who still had “RN,” in his Email, and has regained Licensure Status- even though I don’t and won’t ever need it again:]
Subee2, BSN, MSN, CRNA
308 Posts
CT anesthesia....all those years. What a soul-sucking experience that must have been. I worked with a much adored MDA in our large corporation who became addicted to Fentanyl and everyone got it because the ugliness of working for a large corporation made most people hate their job; especially those of us who had entered in the 80's before anesthesia became a cut throat business. Thanks you for letting every one on this thread know that there is another life to start after recovery.