Honesty & heart

[brenda1234]

I honestly can say that I feel in my heart that I am an excellent nurse. I do my best for my patients & my co-workers.

But what saddens me about my job is when parents complain about me to my co-workers.

I was nurse in charge and I had 2 patients. One of those patients parents (I work in peds) told the day shift nurse that I never went in to the room all night. When in fact that was not the truth. In fact, I was in there and on the phone with the doctor about her because I was worried since she complained about symptoms of twitching. I also had my co-workers help me check on her while I was also doing my charge nurse duties.

I am thinking the mother was mad for some reason because I told her she was not allowed to turn on a candle, which she stated was a battery type flickering candle.

I go to the rooms with my medication scanner to give meds. And even though I do that, I had one parent complain that I never gave the medication. I scanned the medication in front of them, it infused, then various times I explained that I have the med to no avail. The day nurse--- I don't know why I complied --- called me on my cell phone and said "talk to the mother bc she says you didn't give the med, I explained that you gave it based on the computer". So over the phone I told the lady "I have the medication, I swear to God that I would never lie about a medication to you or any of my patients". I honestly do not know why I did that. I was so upset she would accuse me.

If I could go back in time I wish I would of spoken to the top head nurse supervisor.

i told my manager and she said she would talk to her.

i love my pediatric patients but these parents are so hard to handle. I go to work and if I do something wrong it's definitely not deliberately, but still I feel guilty. But in these situations where I don't do anything wrong, I cross my t's and dot my i's makes me so sad that these parents are so

crazy.

since those things happen, I just go in and do my assessment and get out. I do my checks like I have to. I do my job. And I don't care to make small talk with parents. I don't like patient care.

i can't wait till I am done with the BSN so I can go back to school and earn a finance certificate or an MBA so I can work in the hospital but not with patient care.

[kakamegamama]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Remember, the ordinarily nice parent may become anything but when their child is sick. They don't have control of what's going on, and sometimes that's how people react. Don't let them destroy within you your caring heart. As to calling the parent, sometimes, we do have to take the high road. Hang in there.

By the way--if your avatar is a picture of you and your name, you probably want to change that to a non-identifier. Sometimes, members of management do read these posts and I would hate for yours to be able to identify you.

[chare]

But what saddens me about my job is when parents complain about me to my co-workers.

You will occasionally encounter a parent that is going to complain about something that you did or didn’t do. Don’t take this personally. While it might seem personal since it’s directed towards you, it usually isn’t. These individuals have been taken way out of their comfort zone, and have had most, if not all control taken from them and this is often how they react.

One of those patients parents (I work in peds) told the day shift nurse that I never went in to the room all night.

Don’t concern yourself with allegations such as this. If the parent is a chronic complainer, it soon becomes apparent to the rest of the staff and management. Often times the best way to handle this type behavior, as long as it doesn’t become disruptive to the unit, is let them vent.

I am thinking the mother was mad for some reason because I told her she was not allowed to turn on a candle, which she stated was a battery type flickering candle.

Probably. However, you did the right thing. And never compromise on safety issues.

The day nurse--- I don't know why I complied --- called me on my cell phone and said "talk to the mother bc she says you didn't give the med, I explained that you gave it based on the computer."

I am not sure how to respond to this, as this is beyond ridiculous. I would never call one of my coworkers after he or she had left and tell them that they needed to speak either a patient or parents. This is why when work calls, I always let it go to voicemail and call them back if it’s something that really needs to be addressed at that time, otherwise it can wait until I’m back at work.

The nurse caring for the patient had already told the parent that you documented the medication as administered, and obviously he or she wasn’t believed. What are you going to say or do to convince her otherwise?

If I could go back in time I wish I would of spoken to the top head nurse supervisor. I told my manager and she said she would talk to her.

Speaking to a higher level nursing supervisor at the time of an incident should always be considered, especially if the patient or family member is overly agitated, continues to complain about the same issue, or frequently complains about multiple issues.

I go to work and if I do something wrong it's definitely not deliberately, but still I feel guilty.

Don’t beat yourself up, particularly if it doesn’t involve patient harm or create an unsafe situation. We all make mistakes. When you make one, learn from it and move on.

I don't like patient care.

While I know it can be difficult, don’t let these incidents sour you on patient care. I too work in pediatrics, and like you occasionally have to deal with parents like these. Care for you patients and take the parent’s behavior with a grain of salt. As I mentioned above, if it gets to be too much don’t hesitate to call your charge nurse or nursing supervisor as needed.

I can't wait till I am done with the BSN so I can go back to school and earn a finance certificate or an MBA so I can work in the hospital but not with patient care.

Regardless of where you work, when you encounter unpleasant people don’t take it personal. As Clint Eastwood said in Heartbreak Ridge, “Don't give the ***** the satisfaction” by reacting to what they say and do.

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

My first thought after reading this post is that if you don't like patient care it's probably apparent to your patients & their parents.

[Baubo516, RN]

My first thought is that it sounds like you like caring for your patients, but you don't like dealing with their parents. I felt the same way when I was a teacher. Most of my negative experiences as a teacher came from dealing with parents! Try not to let the parents get you down. It is not the child's fault that their parents are weird, or at least acting weird. The kids probably appreciate your care.

I also echo what other posters have said - these parents are stressed, scared, probably just looking for some way they can feel like they have a little bit of control over the situation. Sometimes that involves unfounded complaining. Try not to take it personally. And FOR SURE screen your calls if they are from work!

[brenda1234]

I love pediatrics. I think it is fun working with children. They are funny & strong.

But the parents are just nuts. I had a complaint from a parent that said I gave her a cold sandwich!!

those sandwiches come from a fridge after cafeteria closes. Another one was complaining that I did not give her the PRN pain meds!! In the beginning of the shift I explain that PRN meds you have to ask for them..

I do my best to make a happy face & I do love the kids. But these parents are just so nuts.

another example, I showed a 15 year old how to press the morphine pump when in pain bc I noticed they had pain & the mother who stayed quiet told someone that I had pressed it for the Patient.... What is that??

You are right. I have to ignore these ignorant, uneducated, low-class parents.

[brenda1234]

Not my name or reAl avatar by the way :-)

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

People complain about silly things sometimes. Many times, their complaints are totally unfounded. However, if you are frequently the target of complaints, no matter how seemingly insignificant, I think it's reasonable to ask yourself what you are doing that so many people find reasons to complain about you.

I'm sure I've received complaints- what nurse hasn't- but not once has any complaint ever been brought to my attention by a manager or supervisor. Not once. So, when I hear stories like yours about multiple frequent complaints, even if they are about silly little things like cold sandwiches, it really gives me pause to wonder what it is about the way you interact with people that might be contributing to this high volume of complaints?

You are right. I have to ignore these ignorant, uneducated, low-class parents.

This statement really rubs me the wrong way, and if this is how you think of these parents, then I guarantee you it shows, and this may be the source of your problems with them. People don't like feeling looked down upon, and as a parent with a child in the hospital, I would certainly take issue with a nurse having such an attitude toward me.

I think it would behoove you to think about what it is that YOU are putting out there into the universe that could be at the root of your problems with parents.