Homework Help!! urgent

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Hey guys, you guys have been very responsive and helpful with any questions i have had...but i have one more... I have to write a response essay to a letter from the dear abby column:

DEAR ABBY: I am a blond, slim, 5-foot-10 female -- single and in great shape. People tell me I am beautiful. I am also HIV-positive. I would like to meet someone special and settle down. But as soon as I meet a man I like, I struggle with the question of when to reveal my health situation. I have told some right away and never heard from them again, which I find very insulting. Some of my friends tell me I should date a guy for a few months and then say something, but I'd feel betrayed if someone waited that long to tell me. I don't want to just blurt out the information at a first meeting. I'm very confused. Please help. WANTS TO BE MARRIED, GAINESVILLE, FL (APRIL 19, 2005)

I have started the essay, but i am finding trouble giving advice...i want to give her options without sounding biased or pushy...any ideas will be greatly appreciated...thanks

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Advise her to research dating websites for HIV positive folks. I have heard that sites like this exist.

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I agree with FLmomof5. They do have websites like that.

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The patient pretty much answered her own quesiton.... she doensn't want the opposite sex to feel betrayed.... thus when she develops a comfortable relationship with someone, it would be ideal in her situation to come clean. I would also tell her to join support groups like that.... even if it is web based! There is support out there, there are other people in the same boat as her and i belive that should be brought to her attention.

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I agree - I would also add that if she's dating a guy, it's probably not necessary to tell him on the first date, but I wouldn't let it get past three dates or so. That way the guy has had a chance to get to know her, its am ore appropriate time to share such personal information, but they're still not serious. It seems like it might be easier to look for a guy who is also HIV-positive, as there would be mutual support and understanding, but I also realize that oftentimes that's just not how love works. Good luck on your assignment!

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Thank you so much..i was worried that telling her to find people with hiv might seem to constricting and i might be limiting her options..thank you guys...i am off to find a site for hiv positive people...if you have any idea on any sites that would be great

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She doesn't have to limit her potential dating circle to HIV positive men. If she hasn't already done so, she could get involved in an HIV support groups and activities and make this an important part of her life. Many people who are involved in such projects are there for someone they care about and not because they themselves are HIV+. Because they have already had some experience in being able to see the person behind the disease they would be far less likely to have a meltdown and far more likely to keep their emotions in check while finding out more about this woman as a person. Then again, she might meet someone who is HIV+ like she is. If nothing else, this kind of group could give her a boost apart from dating.

Even with the general public, if she mentions that she can't go out until after 5PM on Saturday because she is helping with a rummage sale or a 5k run to help fight AIDs, this will send a message that she cares about the people who are HIV+ and maybe plant a seed that this could be a possibility in her life. At the very least, it should tell any prospective partners that she wouldn't be receptive to bashing and negativity about the subject.

Insensitive goons need not apply.

Good luck with your assignment.

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