Home health with kids.........

[locolorenzo22, BSN, RN]

I've orientated one shift with this kid....trach/gtube/big bed(which apparently he's in the entire night shift....although we are allowed to get him up between 6-9PM only...) bath at 5AM, feedings/frequent suctioning....

The parents saw him each once in 12 hours......never saw them again.....apparently this is the norm....how sad to me, that this beautiful boy only has physical contact with his nurse for only a few hours at a time.....I know I'm not supposed to judge, but I'm only human....

[caliotter3]

If the parents do not spend a lot of time with the child then you need to insure that he gets as much love and human contact as you can give. You really can't make the parents come to the room more often if they don't want to. With all parents, if I saw them at the end of my shift, I made a point to give a complete report, whether they seemed interested or not. You can tell who is interested in their child and who comes to the room only to sign your time card.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I, too, would be upset by that. However, I have to ask, were the parents gone because they were working? If not....

Would it be possible to suggest to rearrange his room to include a comfy chair and light...maybe a small table tray for a computer or something? You might say, "Your child seems to like when I read out loud/talk to him/her about the things in the room, etc." and follow up with the suggestion on the room rearrangement.

Maybe their child has been sick for so long that their seeming neglect of him/her is the result of a slowly evolving, yet misplaced, coping. Maybe they just need a gentle nudge in the direction of their child to change their interaction with him/her?

[nursel56]

Are you talking about the night shift? I guess probably not because if they saw him once, they would have been sleeping the rest of the night.

If they both work, come home and ignore their child, and you observe that day after day, it would be a huge cause for concern. There is a possibility that they haven't bonded well with their child. You don't mention his age, but it's very common that disability and frequent hospitalizations over a protracted amount of time are very disruptive to normal parent-child bonding. This is associated with some negative outcomes for both.

Another possibility is that while they are great parents, the relentless day in day out care for a child with those needs wears away at families and causes psychological weariness. In that context, a desire to escape for a little while doesn't mean they are bad parents. It means they might be feeling depressed and hopeless. Knowing that your child will probably never get better is very daunting.

I wonder what you observed when the parents did come in to see the child. If they patted him on the head and left, it's one thing. If they talk, pick up, touch and kiss him it's another.

It's good he has you to fill in some of his need for interaction, but if the parents are truly detached they might need some sort of counseling- best wishes! :)