My floor tends to get a lot of older adults with either confusion from a UTI or dementia. Often they are my favorite patients because while confused, they're usually sweet and pretty funny. I've had some really confused patients tell me hilarious things, but my last shift takes the cake and I had to share.
Here's the conversation I had with my confused female patient:
Me: Hi, Mrs. _____. I'm _____ and I'm going to be your nurse tonight.
Pt: Are you a boy or a girl?
Me: (Look down at my pink scrubs) I'm a girl.
Pt: If you're a girl, why do you have such short hair?
Me: Because I like to.
Pt: You'll never get a man with that hair.
Me: Well, I'm already married.
Pt: That's what's wrong with you girls nowadays; short hair and wearing pants. Men don't respect us because of it. We'll never get the vote now.
Me: The vote?
Pt: Yes dear. Don't you read the newspapers? Don't you want to be able to vote?
Me: Ma'am, what year is it?
Pt: Don't you know?
Me: I do, but I want to make sure you know.
Pt: Well, 1932 of course.
Me: Ahhh, this conversation makes a lot more sense now.
I promptly excused myself from the patient's room and then proceeded to laugh hysterically. Apparently because of my hair and wearing pants I'll never get the vote. I've never been so entertained at work.
Anyone else have a hilarious story of things their patients have said?
