I think I am starting to get a little burned out with nursing school. The thought has even occured to me to drop out of school, take my LPN boards, and work for a year. But to do this would limit me. I always planned to become an RN and want to work in OB. Need my RN to do this. My husband has been in a dead end job for the past 4 years so that I could do this, and then he plans to go back to school. So, this sort of seems like a waste of time to drop out and then go back in a year. The reason why I am feeling so negative on school because it is starting to affect everything. I am finding myself getting anxious at homes. I find myself getting paranoid if I can't remember giving a med at clinical, but know that I checked those MAR's 3 times per hour with my instructor and my nurse. If I am paranoid now, what in the heck will it be like when I am on the floor as a nurse.
I am also discouraged because of the stress I have been under with studying for a test that I took on Tuesday. I have been keeping up with all of my reading in class, study my notes daily, and studied for 3 days for this test. I ended up with a 55%. The class average is a 60%. The material was cardiac. OK, my grades are not really a concern. At the present time, they are not great, but were pretty good before this test. I have around an 80% currently in theory and an A in clinical. I am also tired. I have not been able to sleep more than four hours a night for a long time because of this anxiety. I am also finding myself relaxing with a glass of wine more often than I used to. I used to never drink and now I usually have a glass or two nearly every Friday at the end of the week.
I know that I have to keep on keeping on, but right now it just seems that six months is such a long time before I am done. I really feel that I have no one to talk to about my feelings with this program. My husband feels I am being stupid about my feelings and that the program isn't hard, just me making it hard (what the heck does he know). My supposed best friend who graduated a year ago is one of those superior beings who looks down her nose a little too much, and is a huge snob. My other best friend just entered his LPN year and finds his first quarter to be cake. My other really good freinds are not in nursing and so I can't really tell about the program to these friends in a way that they could understand. I don't like to talk to the people in my class because we are so competitive with our ranking. We are a pretty cutthroat group. I know that I am not unique to this situation, but I just need some encouragement from people who know what it is like. You know, I gripe, you use therapeutic communication. You gripe, I return the favor. That sort of thing.:)Thanks all, that felt really good to get that out.
