Help! In Need of Encouragement

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Hi All,

I have just been feeling down and unmotivated lately and I need some encouragement.

Basically, I came from England last year, I was about 3 months pregnant, had a 2 yr old at the time. Worked so hard on my pre-reqs, actually had to take 7 clep exams so I could apply for the nursing program in September. I was accepted into the program and I start this January. I am currently taking dosage course.

The main reason I left was marital dispute;I was unhappy. Anyway, I am just so tired and confused now, almost burnt out because of all the hard work last year including financial stress. I have a 3 yr old now and my baby is 5 months. I really want to do this for myself and for them as well but I am beginning to have some doubts whether I can cope with all the stress of nursing school. I don't have family here and I don't have tons of money either.

My hubby recently told me he wanted to make the separation legal, some people think I should JUST go back and make the marriage work, but I don't want to do that basically because I don't think it can work, too many fights, lack of love etc.

Anyway, if you were in my position what would you do? Should I and can I go on?

Thank you for your response

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can you imagine looking back to what you have written and surpassed it all, graduated, and succeed? that could be one thing...

i was getting enough info on your status with your kids. are they with you or the father in england? it's january, how long of a program is this? you made is this far, ask your hubby if he can work with you in terms of finance for the sake of the kids. to be able to give back to them when you succeed. try everything in your power to finish school. yes, it's alot to handle, but that is what nursing is all about, being strong when needed, being able to adjust to lifes sudden changes and expect the worst. know that it is only temporary, and there is a goal, and it is not far from reach. there is hundreds of people out there who wished they were in a program. it can work out if you play your cards right, but most important is your psychological aspect, are you strong enough? only you can answer that.

good luck,

kal

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Specializes in onc, M/S, hospice, nursing informatics.

I, too, was in a difficult situation during nursing school. I separated from my husband during our last semester and subsequently divorced. I was blessed to have a neighbor/friend who would watch my son from the time he got off the bus until I got home. It was an extremely difficult time for us, but we got past it, as will you. Do you have a church with people to help you? Check out your local YMCA, or ask around about low cost child care. There are all kinds of assistance you can get that you may know about. You may feel all alone, but there are probably people around you in very similar situations. You may even find someone with whom you can trade off child care.

I don't know what your beliefs are, but as a Christian, that was what got me through the tough times. My faith was tested most certainly, but God has been more faithful than I can ever say. Please don't give up. Tough times aren't forever.

PM me if you want to.

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Specializes in Critical care.

I can't imagine what you are going through. My best advice is that if it didn't work out then, then it probably will not work out if you go back. Think of what is best for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN. Nursing is a very rewarding profession and has great opportunities. I hope you make a wise decison that well put YOUR needs first.

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Obviously you have a lot on your plate. I would encourage you to retain your independance. Nursing is a good way to be able to support your children. Nursing school is the most stressful thing I've done in my life (and its not over for me yet). You're not alone in the world. Surely you've made friends with some of the other people in your class. I am so grateful for my classmates. We support and encourage each other every day.

Not diagnosing in any way but just throwing this idea out there. I was feeling overwhelmed after the birth of my daughter, didn't want to get out of bed some days, it was a struggle to shower and make myself leave the house. When I was told I had post partum depression, it was such a relief. I felt much better after treatment. Take care of yourself and keep us updated on your situation.

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Hey,

Thanks for all the replies so far; it is encouraging.

Just to answer some questions. My kids are with me.I have met a few of my classmates at orientation and CPR course but haven't really made close friends yet. I am hoping to make some friends when school starts later in the month.

It's an ADN course and I should graduate in Dec 2011. I am just beginning the program

Thanks everyone

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

people who do not have problems with marriage during nursing school are probably single. It is tough on everyone. My only advice is to think about the future, not the present. Stick to your goals, no matter what.

BUT

sometimes we have to delay our goals. In that case, make a 5-year plan and work the plan. Sitting out a year to work or take care of babies is reasonable.

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Your children are young, when you finish they will be 3 and 5. They won't even remember your struggles.. However when they are 8 and 10 they will remember that Mommy was able to provide for them, and that she did.... Keep your eye on the prize..

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Drop out now and I think you WILL regret the decision. You are going to meet some amazing people and make some lifelong friends over the next 2 years . The struggles you will have WILL be worth it when graduation day comes. Keep your chin up and move forward. Your kids AND you will not regret that decision. Life can be tough but being a nurse ROCKS. Good luck with your studies.

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Specializes in med/surg/tele/LTC/geriatrics.

As a nurse I value my ability to support myself. I would always recommend trying to make a marraige work, it leaves a part of you with the partner you divorced. Can you imagine when your kids are grown comming home to visit mom and dad with their young children? You may say it was hard but it was worth it to stay married. When my husband and I got married we agreed not to joke about divorce because divorce is not an option. The difference between people who stay married and people who don't is not problems because we all have problems and we all wonder what if we ended up with somebody else. This is probably going to go against what everybody else says but defer the program for a semester or two (the college I graduated from allows you to defer), figure out your marraige. You may need serious counseling. I am a christian and rely on my faith in christ for the strength to love my husband every day.

If you decide to finish you RN here in the states, get some counseling. When I was in nursing school I met with a lady free of charge through the college. This really helped me to focus and do better in school. It is a difficult decision, I can't imagine what you what you are going through.

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Having been through a very messy divorce I will tell you it is the most difficult thing I have gone through and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I would however, do it a million times again to be where I am today. If you don't love someone...you just don't love them and there is not a counselor on the planet who can help that. I respect your beliefs but speaking from experience sticking it out for the kids sake...I wouldn't recommend it.

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