Help I want to quit

SoulShine75 · Dec 12, 2005

I know what you're going through. I have 4 sons who I feel aren't getting the best of me lately. My older boys have activities and school and friends to occupy them so they don't seem as bothered, but my 2 year old... I wish I could just hold him in my arms all day. I know how you're feeling. Burned out, stressed, guilty, tired. Don't beat yourself up. You're only trying to better yourself and your life for your family.

I don't start the nursing prgram until January, but I do know just how tough school is in general. Follow you heart, it will always lead you. Only you know the answer to your own question. Take a day out on your own if you can to decompress and evaluate your situation. Are you questioning whether or not you want to be a nurse because your patho course is getting you down or is it something more? My best advice...think your decisions through clearly and listen to your instincts. You've come this far, if you decide this is something you want to complete, you can do it. If you decide to change your mind, it's ok.

KatieBell · Dec 12, 2005

My friends first child used to get out her picture books and tell me when I was babysitting that she was studying. She is now a very well developed 9 yr old, who gets along fine. You have a lot of stress right now, so it is not a good time to make a decision- be sure to complete the semester, and think aboutthings- discuss them with a trusted instructor- and then make a decision. So many quick hasty decisions are made, and then its hard to turn back time.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2005

How conflicted you must feel. If you were doing better in patho would that make a difference in your thinking about going into nursing? I guess I just didn't understand if you are saying that you are giving up on the nursing because of the patho, or that you've giving up on the nursing completely. I know it's kind of late in the semester for patho, but I will tell you that the way to organize your study of patho is to (1) learn the anatomy of the organ/system involved, (2) learn the normal physiology of the organ/system involved (3) then, the trick to learning the pathology in an organ or organ system is by what has gone wrong/what is no longer normal. All those things are interconnected. The treatments should make sense since what the doctors are trying to do is bring the organ back into some kind of normalcy, if not cure the problem. Also, you need to ask yourself the "why" questions. Why is this treatment done for this disease? Why is this medication given, rather than some other medication? That is a very important part of the learning process with this course. The other thing about learning is that it, generally, has to be repetitious. You won't learn this stuff in one sitting. The more you read about diseases, the more you will retain and remember. Also, reading about them from different sources is a big, big help. It gives you alternative views and slants about the disease from the opinions and thoughts of different authors. So, I am giving you two web links.

http://homepage.smc.edu/wissmann_paul/anatomy1/ here is a site by an instructor of A&P which has lots of links to Internet sites. This instructor wants his students to understand the normal workings of the body systems.

http://www.fpnotebook.com/index.htm - this is a link to an online family physician advisor that is divided into all the various medical specialties. You link into the specialties at the left side of the page. There will then be links to all kinds of resources related to many disease conditions within that particular body system. While this is designed for physicians, there is a good deal of information here that nurses can understand as well.

Please use them. If you are reading up on diabetes, don't just look at what your textbook has to say. Go to the ADA (American Diabeties Association) site and look up the information they have for the public on being a newly diagnosed diabetic. Go to the website of the insulin producer and see if they have a web page set up for patients with all kinds of information on diabetes for them. This is how you will learn this stuff. In other words, immerse yourself in the information available. And while you're reading this stuff get your brain answering those why questions, "so this is why they order this."

Lastly, if you decided not to go ahead with nursing, your education up to this point is not wasted. There are still many health related careers that you can get into. I, myself, have been working toward getting a degree in health information management (used to be called medical records) because I can't do the standing for long hours as a clinical nurse anymore. Talk with a counselor at your school. Have you thought about dental hygiene or radiology technology? There are so many other heathcare and healthcare related professions. You already have many of the required courses for these other fields already.

1Tulip · Dec 13, 2005

I was basically going to say what KatieBell did. Depressed people make really stupid snap decisions. (Trust me.)

I taught pathophysiology (and pharmacology) for three years. Very few of my students entered the class imagining that they would have to really struggle to get the grades they were used to getting. About a third failed the first exam every year. Many of them just buckled down after that and did fine. Many didn't know how. If those students came to my office, I would tell them what to do to pass. The ones who adopted my study methods improved by sometimes two letter grades on the next exam. Almost all improved by one letter grade. (One kid didn't but honestly I think he had a reading disorder, and mine wasn't the only class he had trouble in.)

The study advice is predicated on the assumption that the exams faithfully represent the materials that are presented to you. Nothing can help if the exams are capriciously put together.

Here's what you have to do: You have to write the material out in your own words. Let's say your exams come mainly from lectures. You must tape the lectures. In a quiet room, play it back to yourself with your finger on the stop button. Listen to each sentance your instructor says. When he/she states a concept or a factoid, stop the tape and write down what she said, but IN YOUR OWN WORDS. If it's a concept you can diagram and you're more comfortable doing that... fine. Works the same.

What I found with my students was they THOUGHT they "understood" what I was saying. And on a superficial level they were. But they were not getting the detailed elements that strung the bigger picture together. When they forced themselves to re-iterate what I'd said on their tape, in their own language, they were brought up short. They realized that maybe two concepts just went flying by and they couldn't explain either one to themselves.

What could they do in that instance? Leave the tape. Turn to their book. Look up the vocabulary words they didn't understand or try to get the author's interpretation of the concept I had spoken about. Then... take that from the book... again in their own words... and write it in the margins of their notes. Then go back to the tape and continue. If they couldn't get it from the book, they could come to me and I'd go over it until they got it. (And again, until they'd put it in their notes in their own words.)

This is hard. It's tedious. It takes about three hours for every hour of lecture. But that is about what Universities say is average for courses. Three credit hour courses require 9 to 10 hours of study per week.

You have to do it after every lecture. Certainly you have to stay up week to week. You canNOT do it at the end before an exam. On the otherhand, it simplifies studying for exams a great deal.

One other piece of advice. 6 to 8 solid hours of sleep before the exam is worth anywhere between a half and a whole letter grade. Seriously.

It sounds like you are working very hard, but spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. This suggests you need more focused study methods and mine is about as focused as it gets.

Alternatively there may be student services at your university that can help you develop methods that would work for you. But if what you're doing now isn't working for you, it's time to change.

Good luck. I met very few students who couldn't get patho and I think mine was a pretty "balls to the wall" course. I think you can do this.

1Tulip · Dec 13, 2005

Oops... just saw Daytonite's advice and I think it's really solid. So you have a couple of really good approaches that have some areas of overlap.

This is doable. Lots of people have done it and many have had kids and full time jobs AND other heavy course work at the same time. I don't know if this late in the semester you can pull it out, but even if you can't, maybe over the break you can get some rest, get some perspective and evaluate where your heart really lies. If you decide to give it another go... you'll come back to it with a smarter approach. (Lord, I never thought I'd sound like my mother... but whenever I would whine and moan ... oh woe is me! I can't do it, I'll never make it... she would always say "Can't never could." I think what she was telling me was that I couldn't get anywhere until I quit trying to quit. Of course she was right. But aren't they always?)

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Dec 13, 2005

Its a great thing that you want to get an education. It will help you to be a positive role model for your child. But maybe its not the right time to do this. Would it be easier when she goes to school in a few years? Kids are only little once. Soon she wont be so eager to sit on your lap all day. But I do not know your financial situation, either. You need to look at your finances and determine if this is something you can put off for a bit. Please think it through before you make any quick decisions. Best wishes.

blueyesue · Dec 14, 2005

Excellent advice 1tulip. I am going to use it in my soon to start classes. God bless you.

1Tulip · Dec 14, 2005

I've seen it work. If the exams come mostly from the readings, then outline all the readings in your own words (or your own diagrams/charts). Works the same.

tlhubbard · Dec 14, 2005

Personally, I had a 2 year old and a 4 year old (once I was through my pre-reqs) and was in the program. I found two other (excellent students) with kids the same age. We formed a study group and alternated places to study. The kids kept each other entertained and we got to study. It worked out wonderfully. The girls are still friends with these kids (6 years later). My children are very studious and driven. I think it actually had a good effect on them in that respect. They have a huge respect for continuing education beyond high school and I feel they are better for what we all worked for together. It made them realize "it's not always all about me" which can be a hard concept for children. They are loving/giving children who are amazed at fellow classmates behavior (they find themselves rather frustrated with the brats in the class). They matured very well because I had expectations from them because I was so distracted with school. I wouldn't have changed a minute of it.

Keep your daughter included when possible, and give her a positive experience when it isn't possible to include. It most definitely can be done. You will find a way that works best for your family.

Also in an attempt to utilize all possible time, I had a 45 minute commute to school, I would record my professor's lecture for A & P and would listen to it in the car. Great way to use otherwise wasted time.

Good luck!!

nrsingjewel · Jan 18, 2006

Hey there! I am in a similiar situation. I failed one of my first nursing classes. The bad thing about it or it could be good, was that I needed only .7 points to pass. I figured that if I was going to fail, then please don't let it be that close to passing but on the other hand if I had really failed like way below passing then I guess I would really really have to consider what I was getting into. It still sucks though being that close and i'm always wondering, now that i'm having to take it again if this is going to happen to me again. I have done great throughout until now and it's hard to see people that you were going to graduate with move on and you are now a semester behind them. I also have three children and I want more than anything for them to see me graduate. I have been through so much in my life and I want this so bad. I am hoping that this semester and every semester after goes a lot better for me. I don't have a back up plan because this is what I really want and if it doesn't happen I have no idea how i'll pay back my loans. Maybe I worry too much but I can't help it. I am just wondering if I am the only one that can't get past the first semester of nursing?? Anyhow, sorry about the rambling.