I am 19 years old, and trying to get into 2009 nursing program........here is my story that needs advised.......
My husband and I have been married for 7 months and had a baby 10 months BEFORE we got married. We did jump into the marriage fairly QUICKLY, even though i do love him very, very much. We moved out of state, away from family, and we share the same apartment as his older brother. :icon_roll My husband works on afternoon shift, so he is gone all day at work and I go to school in the morning. I clean the place every day before he gets home, and attempt to cook dinner at least a few times a week (even though he isnt here). On top of that and school, i take care of our 1 1/2 year old son. i am with the baby all day every day, and its very hard to find time to study or do anything else. He doesnt help with the baby when he is here, which really upsets me b/c i am already taking care of him all day when hes not here. We have been fighting alot lately. I dont even know what about. But they are very emotionally hurtful for me. The term divorce and seperate has been bounced around in some arguments. I just feel like i am doing so much, not only materialistically, but also in trying to "help" our relationship and he isnt meeting me half way. Every time i try to tell him how i feel, he rolls his eyes and tells me to just stop. Or wont say ANYTHING at all, and tells me he isnt listening. Even after an argument, the next day i apologize but he is still angry at me and will not talk. I try to ask him what he needs from me in this marrige, but he is NEVER willing to talk beck with me about anything. I try telling him (when he is in a good mood) that he is doing a great job being a daddy and working every day, and i am very proud of him. But once we start fighting, he is a totally different person, and doesnt care about anything i am feeling. He doesnt show that he cares when i am very upset or crying. He says to me, " Well i take you out to eat and buy you things, What more do you want from me?" I really need emotional support right now, and he isnt giving me any. And to me, that matter more than anything. I feel as if i am a burden on his life, and he would be happier w/o me. Sometimes i even question if hes falling out of love with me. If so, then i just feel stuck, because we DID get married. I tell him that i really need to have someone to talk to, and i tried telling him exactly what i am typing right now, but he gets irritated and walks away. I just dont know what else to do. I dont just want to be another statistic thats shows another young couple getting a divorce. I DO love him, and want to try everything possible to keep this marriage healthy, but he needs to meet me halfway............IDK! i hope im not pushing him away, but i dont know how else to handle this....ANY ADVISE would be greatly appreciated! I know there are lots of moms and wifes on allnurses who may know what to say!
After working my night, I came home and I noticed thayt instead of seeing Mr.Mr's clothes on the floor.... they were folded NEATLY on the corner of the bed. I wrote him a little letter of appreciation. Maybey there is hope after all.. STAY TUNED :anpom:
All right! I know little things like that feel huge victories sometimes. and give a sense of renewed hope!
Well, Its been a little while since i posted. And since then, my husband and I had a few "talks" and everythings kinda the same. I have decided, with the help of you all and my mother:D, to just continue to do what I am doing now and to not let him not being supportive corrupt me in pursuing my dream to become a nurse. A few days ago I woke up with the baby and needed to go to the library to study for an upcoming test. So, I asked my husband if he would get up to be with the baby so I could leave to study. He wouldnt get up. So after asking him again, and arguing, he fnally got up and told me that I need to do ALL my studying on the weekend so this wont happen. He may have somewhat of a point, but I just cant get EVERYTHING including ALL my studying done on the weekend. IDK! I guess my point is that if he is not going to support me in my schooling, or anything else, then thats fine, for now. I am still going to continue my education, study, and try getting into nursing school REGARDLESS! Maybe he will see that I dont need him to do what I want in life, and hopefully come around. Untill then, I am staying strong, and focusing on mine and my son's future!!!!
~Thank you EVERYONE for the support..........without you guys I would feel like I had noone! REALLY.....
G*D Bless you and your baby. I say this because you hit the nail on the head,"I am staying strong, and focusing on mine and my son's future!!!!" Your son!! You would be doing him a diservice if you DO NOT go to school and fullfill your dream. Can you see his little face when you walk across that stage into a career where you "are" your own career? Or how miserable you would be without pursuing it? When Mommies are not happy, NO ONE is happy. Continue on your journey and you won't have to show your husband ANYTHING; he will see it. Prove yourself to that little boy and your focus will be on the right path.
I am so glad for allnurses. Without it, I am honestly a very lonely soul. Family is great, yet, unless someone is in Nursing school or is already a nurse, it is hard for anyone else to understand. Nursing studies/school is so stressful with out all of the added "stuff". But we will get though this-ALL of us.
P.S: Baby's breath is good luck. So every chance you get, give the little one a smooch:redbeathe:kiss:redbeathe
I dont just want to be another statistic thats shows another young couple getting a divorce. I DO love him, and want to try everything possible to keep this marriage healthy, but he needs to meet me halfway............IDK! i hope im not pushing him away, but i dont know how else to handle this....ANY ADVISE would be greatly appreciated! I know there are lots of moms and wifes on allnurses who may know what to say!
autumn_twilight
29 Posts
All right! I know little things like that feel huge victories sometimes.
and give a sense of renewed hope!