Help with cover letter and resume!

[caseydoubleoh7]

This is my first time writing both. I am only a freshman in college, so obviously I don't have any clinical work or anything like that to include. I just want some constructive criticism. The job is at a small place pretty much hidden, if you haven't heard of it from a previous employee, then you probably never heard of it. Hahaha. So here it goes, I plan on sending it in on Monday through fax since their office is not open on weekends.

Cover Letter:

Dear Ms. Pierce,

Previous to shadowing employees of Point Pleasant I had heard about the organization through a family member and past employee, Jennifer Angel. After the shadowing during my senior year of high school, I left for college to strive for a bachelor's of science in nursing degree to become a registered nurse. Now that I am close to finishing my first year of college I am searching for a position that relates to the nursing field; without delay I considered the experience at Point Pleasant in Bucks County. I am interested in applying for a position as a nurse's aide or technician due to my beginner's experience in college.

The environment of Point Pleasant is familiar to me from the shadowing, and I feel as though I have already gained experience through visiting. A range of people would feel tender in the responsibility of special pediatric care, but I feel as though I am comfortable in that environment. Although I do not have clinical experience as of this summer, I am starting clinical next fall to gain more experience in the nursing field. My other work experience of being a cashier for the past two and a half years has given me substantial confidence and communication with people. Even though some of the children at Point Pleasant cannot have a full conversation, I feel as though caring for them and treating them like the individuals they are would provide that communication. I am willing to provide the special care for the children at Point Pleasant.

My prospected availability for starting at Point Pleasant, Bucks County, would be starting May 8, 2011. I am hoping to obtain a job for the summer before clinical starts which would be ending August 26, 2011. The hours of my availability would be 7am to 10pm every day besides Tuesday and Thursday which would be 7am-4pm due to class at the community college. Towards the end of June after class I will be available 7am-10pm every day. I have no certifications or license thus far but would be willing to receive one if necessary; I will be receiving my BLS CPR certification this June unless needed sooner.

I am also sending my resume with this cover letter and looking forward to hear back from you. I will make a call within the next few days to confirm that you have received my cover letter and resume. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

XX

Of course it has my real name and my address and the recipient address.

Here's the resume:

OBJECTIVE:

Seeking job in moderate-sized organization to prepare for clinical and gain

experience in the nursing field.

SKILLS:

• Knowledge of some medical terminology.
  
• Familiar with trachs, ventilators, and nebulizer treatment.
  
• Able to communicate with coworkers and patients efficiently.
  
• Quick learner of new material and handles challenges well.
  
• CPR certification June 18, 2011 or earlier if necessary.
  

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:

Cashier

Giant Food Store/Martin's Supermarket

Quakertown, PA/Indiana, PA

2008 to current

• Serves to customer needs and inquiries.
  
• Communicates well with customers and other associates.
  
• Completes other tasks such as bagging when necessary.
  
• Transfers work to home and college.
  

EDUCATION:

Pennridge High School, Perkasie, PA

Diploma (June 2010) GPA: 3.8/4.0

Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Indiana, PA

Bachelor of Science in Nursing (Graduate May 2014) GPA: 4.0/4.0

HONORS/ACTIVITIES:

Alpha Tau Delta fraternity, member (2010)

Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society, member (2010)

National Student Nurses' Association, member (2010)

Dean's List (Fall 2010, probable for Spring 2011)

Nurse's Scholarship Grand View Hospital (2010-2011)

Indiana University of Pennsylvania Academic Achievement Scholarship (2010-2011)

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Point Pleasant Pediatric Care (Bucks County)

Shadowed ten hours for high school assignment. (Spring 2010)

Coding came out a lil weird but you get the gist..

Criticisms, please?

[GM2RN]

Your cover letter is too wordy. It needs to be more concise. Also get rid of everything that alludes to your lack of experience. Play up your strengths, not your weaknesses. Do a google search for sample cover letters to see what you should include and how it should be written.

Your objective should convey how you will be an asset to the organization you are applying for, not how you want to advance your career. You should also be able to find samples of resumes online.

[NPinWCH]

The second paragraph of your letter is excellent and really should be the bulk of what the cover letter conveys. I would add a bit about what type of job you are looking for and when you shadowed and then use that second paragraph.

I wouldn't include anything about hours, that's something to discuss later and I wouldn't include anything about lack of experience. I would also change the objective so that it clearly states that you are seeking a position as an NA.

[caseydoubleoh7]

Thank you guys! You both gave great advice.

The only reason why I have my availability is because when I called the organization they told me to include my availability hours somewhere in my cover letter. I realized no one puts them on samples, so should I keep the hours on there due to what the manager prefers or should I just have them call on information about my availability?

[BrookeeLou_RN]

Your cover letter is too long and wordy. Shorten it to include you have shadowed there and feel you would make an excellent employee. Do not keep mentioning you have no experience..Add you availability since they asked for it perhaps in 2nd paragraph. Also on resume fix objective to be more about what you will do for them..not what they will do for you. Also am not sure if this is intentional but do you intend to quit in Fall..if not might mention that you would have different availability in fall or something to indicate you would still want to work there.

I was confused about the fourth remark under your cashier job?? I would add something in there about customer service skills.

Best of luck>