Having a Hard Time

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Oct 20, 2009

1. Deep breath.

2. 2nd deep breath.

3. DO NOT confront, deal, talk with, speak, etc., with your preceptor until you have CALMED DOWN. You are upset and you have every right to be.

4. Get a notebook and write things down. DO NOT SHOW IT TO ANYONE ELSE. Write down what you are feeling and what you think he is doing to you. Again, do not show it to anyone.

5. When you are calm and your emotions are under control, review the notebook..if you feel that your ire is still there, go back to it again at a later time.

6. When you are calm and can look at this clearly, take your points and have a discussion with him--in front of your manager if necessary. You should have some sort of meeting anyway, right so that you both can review where you are in your training.

This is the path I would take so that I have time to review and have a solid avenue of discussing problems and solutions. Not everyone can do this. Takes a lot of temper control.

7. If you feel that this is too long a path and that you are being disrespected and it is too much, pull him aside very calmly and tell him (do not raise your voice, and be calm and PROFESSIONAL) "I would really appreciate it if you think that there are areas I need improvement upon, that you come to be directly, away from my colleagues. I know I am new and that I need guidance, but when I am yelled at in front of my fellow co-workers, I feel terrible and it really affects my confidence."

Go from there....remember, it is always "I feel"....if he gets defensive and an argument escalates, stop the conversation...and go the first route.

Kymmi · Oct 20, 2009

Ok first off that is just crazy! You can do the labs either way. The way you did it was not wrong its just not the way that the ER people usually do it when starting a new IV. The way you do it is the way we do it if the IV is already established. The only way to cause a air embolus is if you injected the air into the IV connecting tubing but even that it is such a small bit of air it would not matter unless you intentionally took a 10 cc syringe and injected air which I am sure you did not do. Sounds to me like he's on a ego trip. One of those type of people that thinks if he makes you look bad he looks good. People like that usually lack self esteem of their own.

I would do as the above poster suggested and attempt to let him know to speak to you professionally and in private however Im willing to bet he wont be receptive so is it possible for you to go to a charge nurse and speak with him/her about the situation. Also when he does point out something that he thinks you are doing wrong ask for a explanation of why it is wrong. One thing that holds true that in nursing there are several ways to get to the same goal. I might do things one way and someone else might do it another but that doest mean either of us are wrong. As long as the goal is accomplished and no harm comes to the patient both ways could be correct.

Hang in there and stand up for yourself. Unfortunately some people have a need to make everyone else feel stupid in order to make themselves feel smarter!

weesyanne · Oct 20, 2009

Sorry that you are having such a rough time with your preceptor. In my opinion, if he is constantly talking about you behind your back and putting you down in front of coworkers, he should not be a preceptor. Your job as a preceptor is to mentor and to teach, not to denigrate someone.

I like the suggestions above about writing things down and reviewing them when you have had time to calm down. When you talk with him, use "I" language, as suggested by JoPACURN. Unfortunately, even if you remain professional, he may not respond in kind. Have all your points carefully thought out and practice them before you speak with him.

I'm sorry----only someone who loves to teach and mentor should be precepting new nurses.

WarmBlanket · Oct 20, 2009

SDA3694 : You are very new and it is unreal that a preceptor would be undermining you . Please give yourself a break and then a pat on the back for picking such a great specialty . The road will be long and hard but stick with it! Each day will be a challenge that will increase your skills. Keep your eyes open, listen and ask questions , have faith in yourself . You have come very far - don't let anyone stand in your way.

rickelli · Oct 20, 2009

He sounds like a jerk and I pray that every wonderful experienced nurse that I have to deal with in school or first starting out is not like him. I pray that they will want to teach me. I would feel so bad if someone where to yell at me like he did you. You would think that experienced nurses would understand because they have been there too. It doesn't sound like he is trying to help you by being strict because the way he is doing it is just wrong. sorry that your having to deal with this.

SDA3694 · Oct 20, 2009

Thanks everyone for the positive feedback! Its 2:26 am and I have to be up in 2 hours and I havent even been able to sleep because Ive been so scared Im gonna lose my job when I go in today. He let me go early yesterday after that happened (about an hour and half before my shift ended). I can deal with someone yelling at me...it just really get to you when someone makes you feel like you've harmed your patient ...im glad to know that other people have seen blood draws done this way and that I didnt just pull that out of left field. OHH this is another question he got mad one time and came and got me because I stopped blood to give protonix ...he told me that it was compatible with blood and that I shouldnt have stopped it ...which I had another nurse come and in the room w/ me to make sure I was doing it right ...he came back and kinda got heated w/ he said did you stop the blood on so and so I was like no I clamped it off for a minute to give her protonix and he was like why??? and I was like because I didnt think I could give it while the blood was going he was like yesss you can ...its compatible and I was like well I asked another nurse and she said she didnt think so either and he was like dont ask her she's not very knowledgeable I know you dont know who to ask yet but dont ask her. The thing is ...I dont know where to go with all of this, he is one of the charge nurses and everyone seems to like him (even management) for some reason he just does NOT seem to like me. Now Im not trying to make myself sound perfect because I have asked alot of dumb questions, I am slow on my work there are plenty of things that I do wrong. It just seems like the things that he blows up on ...are things that he shouldnt...thats why I wanted to get some other advice. Thanks everyone...please pray for me as I head in to work this morning I am a nervous wreck!!!!

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Oct 20, 2009

I always connect my lock to the hub and draw from there, then flush with NS. It's not wrong. In fact, I would think it would be preferred in order to reduce the risk of introducing microbes into the patient's blood stream.

I would think Protonix would be compatible with blood, since you are injecting it into the patient's blood, but at the same time, I don't see anything wrong with stopping the blood transfusion for a few minutes to give the Protonix.

I think your preceptor is freaking out over nothing, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's hard enough being new as it is.

How many more shifts do you have on orientation?

Kymmi · Oct 20, 2009

My advice and take it for what its worth is to confront this head on. I do not mean be confrontational but if it was me I think I'd approach him in a non threatening manner and attempt to talk this out with him. I'd first thank him for all he's taught me so far and let him know you really appreciate his input. Explain to him that it means alot to you to be able to function on your own and that you know that will happen someday but for now you realize you have questions and also need to be "trained to the everyday world of nursing which you know is different from clinicals" and let him know you are open to learning anything he has to teach. I would refer to things as "I" and not "you". For instance I would say "I feel like there are things I need to know and I know you will guide me to be the best nurse I can be" INSTEAD of "You are so rude and should be nicer about telling me what I do wrong" :) . In other words make him feel better about himself. Know that you are a good nurse and all things come with time. Nursing is about learning constantly. I've been in ICU/CVICU 20 years and there are times I still learn things. This guy seems to me like he enjoys making people look bad which makes him feel better about himself so therefore if YOU make him feel needed and better about himself that will serve his ego. I know some might not agree with me but I still believe the saying "Kill 'em with kindness". If he needs his ego boosted you can be the one to do it for him for this short while and then when you are off orientation and on your own you can find your own resources and kick him to the curb. :)

I hope you understand what Im saying and keep your chin up...we've all been new at one time and none of us should forget that......we should all support each other because you never know when you will need someone to watch your back and be there for you when you need it.

Im sure you will be a great nurse and should you ever decide to move to FL and work in my unit I would be happy to precept someone like you that wants to learn and be the best they can be.

Kymmi · Oct 20, 2009

After I hit enter on my last post I remembered what I really wanted to say. The most important lesson for us all to remember is :

The nurse you trash today just might be the nurse that can save your behind tomorrow!!

SDA3694 · Oct 20, 2009

I always connect my lock to the hub and draw from there, then flush with NS. It's not wrong. In fact, I would think it would be preferred in order to reduce the risk of introducing microbes into the patient's blood stream.
I would think Protonix would be compatible with blood, since you are injecting it into the patient's blood, but at the same time, I don't see anything wrong with stopping the blood transfusion for a few minutes to give the Protonix.
I think your preceptor is freaking out over nothing, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's hard enough being new as it is.
How many more shifts do you have on orientation?

Thanks for your advice! I have four more 12 hour shifts.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Oct 20, 2009

One thing that holds true that in nursing there are several ways to get to the same goal. I might do things one way and someone else might do it another but that doest mean either of us are wrong. As long as the goal is accomplished and no harm comes to the patient both ways could be correct.

The above bears repeating!