Having A Nurse As A Patient

[SkyDancer77]

I've never posted on here before but would like your opinions. How have you handled difficult patients who are nurses? I've had one ask me off the wall questions to see if I get thrown off and is extra scrutinizing with every task, then proceeded to complain about me to day shift. 

[BirdieBird, BSN]

SkyDancer, 

I can relate to what you describe with some nurses being very difficult to care for. Even with over a decade under my belt, I still get a little nervous when I see "nurse" as their prior vocation. I should note that I manage a high acuity assisted living, so these nurses are sticking around for awhile. Anyhow, I know that my apprehension is just due to my own insecurities. I have 3 different nurses, and I get along just fine with all of them for varying reasons. First thing, I never say "you were a nurse". Once a nurse, always a nurse. This shows a sense of respect right off the bat. When one presents with health concerns, I take their report as good as mine; they have a profound body of knowledge, who am I to dispute? And here's the key, these women get ANGRY. I can't blame them, they are no longer a care provider but a recipient and this KILLS them. I listen to these frustrations until the gals are emotionally empty. In times of crisis, some of these gals have come forward and offered to assist our nursing department however needed. Of course, they get a hard no, but it's the offer that counts. In short, respect and active listening, and just being empathetic go such a long way.

 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

Quote

In times of crisis, some of these gals have come forward and offered to assist our nursing department however needed. Of course, they get a hard no, 

Waitaminnit. That “gals” and “Of course, they get a hard no” are so condescending and dismissive I wondered for a split second if you were kidding.  Alas, it appears not. And you think the reason they’re angry is because they are receiving, not giving, care? Because they aren’t valued? Perhaps they’re picking up on something you don’t think you’re making visible. A little eye roll, a little thin smile, a literal or figurative pat on the hand … a little more gnothi sauteon might be in order on your part. After which you might conclude that a person doesn’t have to have been a nurse to be frustrated, sad, and emotionally drained by being in your facility. Or angry about it. 
Since many of the reports that will bounce back to you via Press-Gainey or other feedback structures will include problems related to inexperienced or inadequate staff, perhaps you might remember that these experienced women with a “profound body of knowledge” might just have something to offer “in times of crisis,” having dealt c them before. You might correctly assess that they aren’t physically able to lift or turn bodies, but if there’s really a crisis they could answer the phone, take vs, supervise/motivate CNA/MA helpers, or deal c anxious families. They could help your newer staff set priorities. They could improve unit communications. 
Trust this COB: if you’ve been a nurse for only 10 years you still have a [ ] ton of learning to do. If “Once a nurse, always a nurse” rings any bells, listen twice when one offers to help. It’s what NURSES do. 

[BirdieBird, BSN]

4 hours ago, Hannahbanana said:

Waitaminnit. That “gals” and “Of course, they get a hard no” are so condescending and dismissive I wondered for a split second if you were kidding.  Alas, it appears not. And you think the reason they’re angry is because they are receiving, not giving, care? Because they aren’t valued? Perhaps they’re picking up on something you don’t think you’re making visible. A little eye roll, a little thin smile, a literal or figurative pat on the hand … a little more gnothi sauteon might be in order on your part. After which you might conclude that a person doesn’t have to have been a nurse to be frustrated, sad, and emotionally drained by being in your facility. Or angry about it. 
Since many of the reports that will bounce back to you via Press-Gainey or other feedback structures will include problems related to inexperienced or inadequate staff, perhaps you might remember that these experienced women with a “profound body of knowledge” might just have something to offer “in times of crisis,” having dealt c them before. You might correctly assess that they aren’t physically able to lift or turn bodies, but if there’s really a crisis they could answer the phone, take vs, supervise/motivate CNA/MA helpers, or deal c anxious families. They could help your newer staff set priorities. They could improve unit communications. 
Trust this COB: if you’ve been a nurse for only 10 years you still have a [ ] ton of learning to do. If “Once a nurse, always a nurse” rings any bells, listen twice when one offers to help. It’s what NURSES do. 

I meant no offense in my posting. My apologies.

 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

I didn't think you meant to be condecending and dismissive. But please consider recalibrating how you interact with these women. We are your professional mothers, without whom you wouldn't be where you are.

[BirdieBird, BSN]

Thank you.

[londonflo]

2 hours ago, Hannahbanana said:

But please consider recalibrating how you interact with these women. We are your professional mothers, without whom you wouldn't be where you are.

You are a lot nicer than I am. 

Here in lies the truth:

7 hours ago, BirdieBird said:

Anyhow, I know that my apprehension is just due to my own insecurities.

And you are bleeding all your insecurities here on the AN site. 

7 hours ago, BirdieBird said:

And here's the key, these women get ANGRY. I can't blame them, they are no longer a care provider but a recipient and this KILLS them. I listen to these frustrations until the gals are emotionally empty.

Well, when you are in that bed....the next generation will listen to you until you are emotionally empty!  How will that feel? 

[BirdieBird, BSN]

I would appreciate having someone sit and listen to me while I share my history in hopes of helping others. But I think it would be exhausting to be this emotionally real with most people. 

[londonflo]

7 hours ago, BirdieBird said:

I would appreciate having someone sit and listen to me while I share my history in hopes of helping others. But I think it would be exhausting to be this emotionally real with most people. 

A lot of "I's" in this reply. 

[BirdieBird, BSN]

Just take my apologies on this entire thread please.

 

[londonflo]

Just now, BirdieBird said:

Just take my apologies on this entire thread please.

I so appreciate your reply but have your learned anything about the patients under your care? 

[BirdieBird, BSN]

Yes, it would benefit me to think through my thoughts further and speak not from my own standpoint but with the patient in the front of my mind. The way one refers to a patient should be kept professional and not endearing.

 

 

[londonflo]

1 minute ago, BirdieBird said:

Yes, it would benefit me to think through my thoughts further and speak not from my own standpoint but with only the patient in mind.

and change your thinking to that patients have a lot to offer for you to learn or at least respect. Thank you for your reply.