Have to make a decision but I'm afraid

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I'll try to make this as concise as I can. I worked as an LPN for nearly 10 years before going back to school 2 years ago and completing an ADN bridge program. I was pregnant with my third (and what we decided to be the last) during my final semester. I graduated and ultimately landed a job in a hospital on a busy Med Surg unit. While I can't say I'm thrilled with my job I am thriving.

Recently we we found out we are unexpectedly pregnant with our 4th. This pregnancy has mentally and physically knocked me down. At this point I work 1 night shift a week and can barely do that. For the last 2 years I've gotten used to only 2-3 hours sleep both before and after my shift due to not having a FT sitter. It was already starting to catch up to me, but now I can hardly function. I'm so scared of making an error at work and harming a patient that the anxiety is overwhelming. We have no family here so it's just us. To add to all this I was accepted into a RN-BSN program that starts next month and is 15 months long. I want to finish that program but at the same time, I know working nights is no longer an option. My husband has encouraged me to stay home for a while, and just focus on finishing school and go from there or continue to be a SAHM.

I'm torn. My kids come first, of course. However I'm worried that if I'm out too long I will have a difficult time getting an acute care job again and my BSN will not be helpful. Just looking for insight or feedback especially from someone who's been there. Thanks for reading all this :).

You have experience, and you won't be leaving work with no plan. I know plenty of people who have done a similar thing. You have to do what is best for you. Unfortunately, there are very few other people who are going to look out for you and what is best for you other than yourself. Your spouse sounds like he's trying to help do so, and you probably have some friends who would do what they could to help you. But in the end, career-wise, it's probably only you. You may have a wonderful supportive group at work, and they may truly care, but this is not often the case.

You've mentioned why you're concerned about continuing to work nights - your lack of rest, your just making it through, etc. It's a valid concern. Which would be easier to explain - taking time off for school or unfortunately being right and making some mistake/error? And if there is some kind of error and you work in an institution that can terminate you for an error - how will you explain that? People take breaks for all kinds of reasons.

I think one of the hardest things in life is finding a balance that works for us. Just enough to challenge us to be our best, but not so much that we're overwhelmed and drowning from our commitments. You have your kids, and the responsibilities they bring. Maybe right now, working a PRN job that requires nights isn't the answer for you. You mentioned you need a BSN to move to a new job anyways. I would take a break from work, focus on school and kids, then re-evaluate when school is finished.

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

I was away from the bedside for about 8 years, then re-entered without difficulty. Then, I was out for another couple of years while I completed my master's degree, and re-entered without difficulty. Best wishes to you & your family & congratulations on your new little one. They grow up so fast and are our most precious investment. I wish you the best!

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I can understand why this is a difficult decision with so much on your plate.I would be hesitant to give up my one shift per week as things change very rapidly in nursing. I do not understand why you can't come up with a way to do that one shift per week.Why can't you pick a day that your husband is home and can watch the kids while you sleep after your shift or even before. You can also look for a part time sitter which may not be a bad idea considering you will now need time to study,do assignments and take care of a new baby. Look at all your options to fix the situation and ease the stress because you are having to do that anyway with so many responsibilities.

I have tried a number of different days/options while working one shift. As a night shift nurse one shift encompasses more than just that one night you work so that's a consideration. I lost my trusted (and inexpensive) sitter. The cost of a sitter now would almost nullify what I make over 1 shift, especially if it includes care of a newborn. My biggest source of stress right now, comes from trying to sneak in a nap before/after my shift and just the general demands of the job. While I appreciate the opportunity to care for my patients and their families, my highest priority is to take care of my own family first. That's just me.

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Over a lifetime jobs come and go and even almost all coworkers do too. Jobs/Careers are to support us and ours and hopefully give us some personal fulfillment in whatever form that takes. BUT it is not who we are. Your value is not tied to your career. Take the time off, rest and spend time with your little ones. Stop feeling weird or guilty for not working. Because again, a career does not define you or your life.[/quote']

I would like this comment a thousand times if I could. Thank you.

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You have experience, and you won't be leaving work with no plan. I know plenty of people who have done a similar thing. You have to do what is best for you. Unfortunately, there are very few other people who are going to look out for you and what is best for you other than yourself. Your spouse sounds like he's trying to help do so, and you probably have some friends who would do what they could to help you. But in the end, career-wise, it's probably only you. You may have a wonderful supportive group at work, and they may truly care, but this is not often the case.

You've mentioned why you're concerned about continuing to work nights - your lack of rest, your just making it through, etc. It's a valid concern. Which would be easier to explain - taking time off for school or unfortunately being right and making some mistake/error? And if there is some kind of error and you work in an institution that can terminate you for an error - how will you explain that? People take breaks for all kinds of reasons.

I think one of the hardest things in life is finding a balance that works for us. Just enough to challenge us to be our best, but not so much that we're overwhelmed and drowning from our commitments. You have your kids, and the responsibilities they bring. Maybe right now, working a PRN job that requires nights isn't the answer for you. You mentioned you need a BSN to move to a new job anyways. I would take a break from work, focus on school and kids, then re-evaluate when school is finished.

You've summed it up precisely. I feel a responsibility to be a safe and coherent nurse, after all that is what I would expect of a nurse caring for my children or loved ones. I often think what would happen should I make a careless medical error because I'm lacking sleep and take someone's loved one away from them. I also worry about falling asleep, even for a short time, and my toddler climbing out of bed and getting into something dangerous. I feel like work/life are severely unbalanced now despite my valiant attempts to "suck it up" and "stick it out". Your suggestion to take a break and focus on school and re-evaluate my options is the decision I've finally arrived at. Thanks for your input.

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I was away from the bedside for about 8 years, then re-entered without difficulty. Then, I was out for another couple of years while I completed my master's degree, and re-entered without difficulty. Best wishes to you & your family & congratulations on your new little one. They grow up so fast and are our most precious investment. I wish you the best!

I'm so encouraged by this! I also plan to eventually continue on to complete my master's degree. I certainly consider my kids my most precious commodities. They won't be little forever so I'm driven to surround them with as much love, presence, and stability as I can. Your well wishes are much appreciated.

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Specializes in LTC,out patient clinics, hospital.

Take the time off. Be grateful that you have that option.

Don't let FEAR BE THE FACTOR you will be fine when you return.

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I was away from the bedside for about 8 years, then re-entered without difficulty. Then, I was out for another couple of years while I completed my master's degree, and re-entered without difficulty. Best wishes to you & your family & congratulations on your new little one. They grow up so fast and are our most precious investment. I wish you the best!

OP, this situation can happen and does for some people, but it wouldn't be realistic to tell you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about. There are threads on AN where some nurses are having difficulty re-entering the workplace after being gone for awhile, regardless of the reason, and want to know what to do. So, while I agree that you should take the time off and not let fear guide your decisions, a bit of prudent planning can help to ensure that you do not fall into the latter category. My advice would be to attempt to find a PRN position with the least restrictive commitment possible, perhaps only 1 shift per month of your choosing with no weekend or holidays required. Such is the case for PRN positions at my hospital so I know they exist. Then, you have a much greater chance of a smooth transition back to work. You would be able to apply for a job as an internal employee with your then current employer, virtually guaranteeing yourself a job when you are ready. Even if you choose to apply somewhere else, you would still have the option of picking up as many shifts as possible until you get the job you want and will be more attractive to another hospital as a working candidate. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!

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I'm very grateful for all the input I've received from the comments here. @GM2RN you made valid points that re-entry may be difficult and that has been one of my concerns. Unfortunately there just aren't hospitals that I know of in my area that allow PRN without commitment. At this point, I'm frankly burned out and I need to replenish my spirit so that I can love nursing as much as I once did.

I gave my notice already and interestingly enough my direct manager came in a few days ago in the morning when I was finishing up my night shift. She didn't acknowledge me at all: No good morning, goodbye...nothing. Maybe she's stressed because several nurses are leaving or have left already. When I walked out, knowing I'm not on the schedule anymore and I was done, it literally felt like the clouds lifted and the sun started shining. I felt a HUGE sense of relief. Maybe I'll never work another day in acute care. Maybe I'll be just fine with that. I'm just happy for the present. When I'm ready to return to work I'm planning to find a job that doesn't make me feel devalued, disposable, and defeated.

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I'm very grateful for all the input I've received from the comments here. @GM2RN you made valid points that re-entry may be difficult and that has been one of my concerns. Unfortunately there just aren't hospitals that I know of in my area that allow PRN without commitment. At this point, I'm frankly burned out and I need to replenish my spirit so that I can love nursing as much as I once did.

I gave my notice already and interestingly enough my direct manager came in a few days ago in the morning when I was finishing up my night shift. She didn't acknowledge me at all: No good morning, goodbye...nothing. Maybe she's stressed because several nurses are leaving or have left already. When I walked out, knowing I'm not on the schedule anymore and I was done, it literally felt like the clouds lifted and the sun started shining. I felt a HUGE sense of relief. Maybe I'll never work another day in acute care. Maybe I'll be just fine with that. I'm just happy for the present. When I'm ready to return to work I'm planning to find a job that doesn't make me feel devalued, disposable, and defeated.

You have to do what's best for you. I hope you understand that my comments weren't meant to discourage you from doing that, but just to give you a complete picture of what you might be facing so that you can be better prepared. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to be content with your decision and not play the "what if" or "I wish I would have" game. Have peace knowing you made the best decision you could under the circumstances. Good luck!

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You have to do what's best for you. I hope you understand that my comments weren't meant to discourage you from doing that, but just to give you a complete picture of what you might be facing so that you can be better prepared. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to be content with your decision and not play the "what if" or "I wish I would have" game. Have peace knowing you made the best decision you could under the circumstances. Good luck!

I totally understood your comment wasn't to discourage. I thought it was a realistic view that getting back into nursing, specifically, acute care nursing may be very difficult. I appreciate your candor, and I wasn't offended or discouraged at all :). You are right in that peace and contentment with my decision is important. I do feel that I've come to the right decision after a lot of thought and deliberation. Thank you for the well wishes!

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