I've been working with this company doing either home health or private duty for three years. In all that time I have had only one complaint; one time a woman didn't like how I dressed.
Well, the patient I was staying with regularly died recently and I have been sitting with this new patient on the weekends. She is 86 and has alzheimer's/dementia but is still pleasant and fairly easy to stay with. She lives in a two bedroom apartment and her 45 y/o son lives in one bedroom. He is known to be a severe alcoholic (and from what the two other nurses who work the case say he has been known to take other things) and he does not work. The nurses also told me to watch out for him because he constantly tries to bum money. He has not tried to bum money from me yet but I have noticed him drinking quite a bit.
I was there Friday and the landlord came to collect the rent. I heard the patient tell him it had been put on the refridgerator in an envelope but they looked for it recently and no one can find it. So they pulled out the fridge, looked behind it and everything, didn't find it and the landlord left.
I didn't think anything at that point, because I assumed it was a check and well, it was misplaced.
Stupid naieve me.
Last night the oncoming nurse walked me out to my car and said she just wanted me to be aware the family was questioning everyone. I said, well, if they wrote a check it shouldn't be too hard to trace if someone tried to cash it. The nurse said it was $500 cash and the family doesn't write the rent out as a check because all the kids --except that one son-- (she has 8 kids BTW) pool their money together every month to pay her rent. Then the nurse told me that she and the other nurse KNOW who took the money (her son). The nurse said she thought something was strange the last couple of weeks because he hasn't been trying to bum money from her and he makes beer runs at least twice a day. The disgusting thing is, and this is what the nurse told me, is that the mother will look at anyone else to take the blame off her son, she will defend him no matter what. And I'm afraid the family is the same, they don't want to believe he did something like that. In fact, it was brought up to one of the sons that maybe his brother took the money and he said if he did he would have told them he took it.....also, this patient is a chatterbox, and the nurse said she told the patient that the nurses and her son needed to take a lie detector test and whoever failed it would have to go to jail and as soon as she said that you could have heard a pin drop.
Anyway, so there I stood just like a big sitting duck. And it really hurts my feelings. I'm struggling as it is, but I would have never taken that money. But how do you prove it? I can't believe this would be the first time he had done something like this, and isn't it convenient it happens shortly after I start working there?
I just don't know what to say or do. I hate to lose this job but I don't want to be there with the family looking at me with suspicion.
Unless you are directly accused, I'd keep mum and keep on the job there, especially since you sound like you are in dire straits economically.
I guess I'd mention it to my employer, although I'm not sure. Usually the less said, the better, about anything to anybody. The fewer people involved, the less room for gossip, distortion, and embellishment.
But there does need to be a new way devised to handle cash in that home. Cash lying around, like other valuables, just invites trouble. And it places suspicion on outsiders, like visiting nurses.
I had to laugh when I read how police would just sort of ask a couple of questions, then shrug and say there was nothing they could do. Not if Lenny Briscoe was the cop. BTW, I love Adam Schiff. I live for his New Yorker worldly wise remarks. "Make the deal." Any episode without him is hardly worth watching.
Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.
Last night the oncoming nurse walked me out to my car and said she just wanted me to be aware the family was questioning everyone.
In fact, it was brought up to one of the sons that maybe his brother took the money and he said if he did he would have told them he took it.....also, this patient is a chatterbox, and the nurse said she told the patient that the nurses and her son needed to take a lie detector test and whoever failed it would have to go to jail and as soon as she said that you could have heard a pin drop.
And it really hurts my feelings. I'm struggling as it is, but I would have never taken that money. But how do you prove it? I
While you need to protect yourself, there's no need for your feelings to be hurt.
The family chose to leave cash around. Always a risk. For all we know, the demented person moved it, tossed it out, etc. They can make a police report if they wish, the police will question all involved, and that's it. Polygraphs aren't admissable in many/most states BTW.
A doctor's widow on my unit once had a valuable engagement/wedding ring stolen. I was starightforward in what I saw...questioning by the head of security took about 2 minutes as the night nurse did a good job of implicating herself by trying too hard to cast blame on the PM shift.
Your honesty is it's own defense. Be sure your agency knows whats going on, and have them set groundrules with the family:
"Your mom has dementia, and gets confused. My staff is honest, but the family needs to take responsibility for removing/safeguarding valuables. Cash, jewelry etc. The family should pool the money, then write a check, or have a designated person hand deliver the rent to the landlord every month."
While you need to protect yourself, there's no need for your feelings to be hurt.
The family chose to leave cash around. Always a risk. For all we know, the demented person moved it, tossed it out, etc. They can make a police report if they wish, the police will question all involved, and that's it. Polygraphs aren't admissable in many/most states BTW."
Yea, know all about polygraphs (true crime buff, here). Not only are they not admissible in court but it's hard to get them done in even much more serious circumstances for interrogation purposes. The night nurse told me she mentioned the lie detector test to shut mom up about "poor misunderstood Andy" and it worked just like she thought, mom clammed up right away.
I really don't want to lose this job, because in spite of the annoyances it is one of the better cases to work.
Also, I got turned down for food stamps (even though I didn't apply for them when I applied for Medicaid they automatically ran my application through for that). Said I had too many assets and made a little too much money each month to qualify. Maybe I'm whining too much about finances because I'm not behind in my bills, not in any danger of being thrown out of my house (even though it's a dump it's bought and paid for), we won't be losing electric or water or necessities, the kids aren't going hungry, but at the same time there is nothing left over and I'll just say I can't afford to take maternity leave, which is why I'm hoping to have baby during the week so I can get back to work on the weekends.
Sorry I got into a speech, everyone has problems and you all don't need to read about all the drama of mine. Just was going to say I don't qualify for public assistance because I'm considered "land and asset wealthy" even if I'm "cash poor." I know a woman who has panhandled before, though, said she made a couple of hundred dollars in one morning... I can hear the comments now though if I was standing by the freeway with a will work for food sign: sorry big fatty I don't think there's enough work in the day to feed you!!!
Geez...
But I can't help but have my feelings hurt, I'm not a saint but I absolutely would never have taken any money. In fact, the nurses (including myself) have brought food to the patient from our own houses and on Sundays her family will bring dinner and the nurse on duty will eat with them. They seem like very nice people and I was looking forward to working there awhile.
I don't want to be moved to another case, but I will call the supervisor tomorrow and tell her what is going on. I don't know, I'm paranoid now, seems if I didn't say anything to anyone it would only make me look more suspicious. Then again I know a lot of guilty people will harp on it. I wish there was a way I could prove I wouldn't do something like that.
Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.
Your best defense is reporting it to your agency and letting them be responsible for follow-up. There should be a case manger that can discuss issue with family too.
I can hear the comments now though if I was standing by the freeway with a will work for food sign: sorry big fatty I don't think there's enough work in the day to feed you!!!
TrudyRN
1,343 Posts
Unless you are directly accused, I'd keep mum and keep on the job there, especially since you sound like you are in dire straits economically.
I guess I'd mention it to my employer, although I'm not sure. Usually the less said, the better, about anything to anybody. The fewer people involved, the less room for gossip, distortion, and embellishment.
But there does need to be a new way devised to handle cash in that home. Cash lying around, like other valuables, just invites trouble. And it places suspicion on outsiders, like visiting nurses.
I had to laugh when I read how police would just sort of ask a couple of questions, then shrug and say there was nothing they could do. Not if Lenny Briscoe was the cop. BTW, I love Adam Schiff. I live for his New Yorker worldly wise remarks. "Make the deal." Any episode without him is hardly worth watching.