Hating my job

Published

Hello all. I've been a member on the site throughout my journey in school, nclex and starting out as a new RN. I'm hoping to find some advice or relief here in my time of need.

I have been an RN for 3 months now, and on my own (off orientation) for almost 2 months. I work on a medsurg floor as this was the only job that I had an interview/offer for. Medsurg is not my dream. ER or ICU nursing is. But nonetheless, I had to take the job when it was offered because there was nothing else out there for me.

95% of the days I work, I hate it. I have 5-8 patients a day (5 is a good day). I sike myself out about work the day before I'm even scheduled. My stomach gets sick, I can't sleep (especially before a night shift), and there have been a few times that I have cried before and/or after my shift. I feel overwhelmed. I never get to spend any amount of time with my patients short of shoving meds at them. I'm lucky if I don't get the patients confused when a doctor asks me a question.

I search job postings daily. I have a friend that works at an outside hospital in their ER that is trying to get me hired there but no luck yet. I am just unbelievably disgusted and bitter about my job, and that isn't at all the type of nurse I wanted or expected to be.

I keep trying to tell myself that I'm new and it's just the unit that I'm on. I tell myself that it's good experience. But I am hating it every single day. I called off tonight because my stomach was so upset and sick and I was crying.

How can I get out and get to where I want to be with so little experience? Is this normal? Help :(

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

Yes it's very normal. I'm on a critical care unit and I don't have time for my patients either. My year is coming up very soon and I still don't enjoy going into work because it's not the area I want to be in. I wanted to quit a month into it but I've been sticking it out due to the advice I get and the realization that nobody will hire me with less than a year of experience.

Right now we are in the molding process of being a good nurse. That means learning how to juggle multiple patients, understanding their diagnoses and meds, learning how to use our nursing judgement, and becoming better with assessment skills. This road we are on to becoming an effective, competent nurse isn't easy! From the seasoned nurses I speak with, they are still learning but that is the nature of our profession.

Does it get better? Sure. It's been a little better for me but I know I won't be happy until I'm working in my niche and the same for you. As long as you're not in physical danger, I would encourage you to stick it out for a year. I have a calendar where I cross of the days I work (like I'm in prison) and I can't believe I'm almost free. Find out if you're able to transfer to another unit when you hit your 6 months mark. There are no guarantees but at least inquire, but don't leave until an offer has been made to you. Hang in there.

Trust me when I say the sickness and tears will go away and you'll go in knowing "you got to do what you got to do."

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you so much. I have so much doubt in myself, wondering if I just don't like the unit I'm on or if nursing just isn't for me. But I truly think it's the unit. I hope I can tough it out for 6-12 months. I believe I'm able to transfer at the 6 month mark but I'm not entirely sure. I know I'll be trying to if I can. This crying before/after work and feeling sick isn't working for me.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

You will have doubts in your first year, but that's the time to build up that confidence. Many say it'll take 2-5 years to really feel confident. When I first started, I thought I made a big mistake changing my career to nursing, but when my patients tell me they were happy I was their nurse that was my aha moment. It's not the field, it's the unit. Overall, my goal is to leave the bedside, but for now I'm here to gain invaluable experience that will help me be a better nurse.

My hospital allows transfers at the 6 months mark, but because I'm a new nurse I was encouraged to wait it out a year before applying to other units. Trust me, the tears will dry up after a while. Give yourself some time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Telemetry, Med-Surg.

That sounds like my first RN job. I worked on a tele unit, and I would have 6 patients nightly, sometimes 7. Most of them had Cardizem or Heparin drips going (or both) along with maintenance fluids. We had to interpret our own rhythym strips. We had immediate post CABG patients and trachs. It also seemed that everyone was a QID BS and on hemodialysis (it's more fun when they're on peritoneal dialysis and we have to maintain it). Oh, and NO techs, so we did all of the care. I absolutely dreaded going into work most days. It was a madhouse. Unfortunately, that's just nursing. I've moved around a little since then and learned that the grass is definitely NOT greener on the other side. The first year is the hardest. You'll get through and be strong and confident as a result.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hang in there until your one year of acute care experience is done and start applying again (and possibly switch units at your hosptial too). Just hang in there and persevere! Don't quit this job until you have another one lined up. Persevere! You can do this! Life stinks and throws curve balls at us. All we can do is endure and find a way to make the most of it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

OMG...I feel like you wrote your post from my perspective completely!!! I was fortunate enough to land a highly sought after job at an amazing hospital on a med-surg unit...a little more than a month ago. Within a month I lost 16 lbs...(mind you, I was only 133 to start), I couldn't eat, cried at home all the time, became a horrible mother, laid in bed on my days off...sometimes for 3 or 4 days dreading the thought of going back. I was still on orientation, was told I was doing great, my patients had no clue I was a new grad and loved me. But in the end, just a few days ago...I resigned. I felt like I was running from room to room throwing meds to people, not having time to listen to what was really wrong, and I was suffering. You will have to think about yourself a little...you can't take care of others if you are not taken care of. Good luck...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you so much everyone. I'm glad to hear that it isn't just me! I just wish I knew how to better control my anxiety. My dad thinks I need to talk to my doctor and explain how anxious the job is making me, especially since I can't really transfer or afford to leave the job (just moved into a new apartment and had to purchase a new car... bills, bills!). We'll see.

Sorry to hear that you resigned md/vaRN, but it sounds like you were having as rough of a time as I am. I think about quitting a lot. I worked night shift last night and caught myself dry-heaving in the bathroom 4 hours into my shift. This job is literally making me sick. I like most of the people I work with, but it's definitely the type of unit-- throwing meds and leaving. I think my patients like me as well, but I totally get what you're saying. And you said it perfectly about taking care of ourselves first. That adds some perspective. I hope everything works out for you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Lemon Balm is a simple, natural remedy that helped me quell the anxiety of my nursing skills check offs. I would start with that, and then see your doctor if that, eating modifications, and exercise don't work well enough. I am a new grad ADN RN too and I had a terrible experience with my new job. Missed out on the sought-after hospital job and ended up in Skilled/LTC and hated it so much that I quit within a month. I'm feeling bad about myself now and wondering who will ever give me a chance now that I've been out of school since May 2013...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Telemetry, Med-Surg.
Thank you so much everyone. I'm glad to hear that it isn't just me! I just wish I knew how to better control my anxiety. My dad thinks I need to talk to my doctor and explain how anxious the job is making me, especially since I can't really transfer or afford to leave the job (just moved into a new apartment and had to purchase a new car... bills, bills!). We'll see.

Sorry to hear that you resigned md/vaRN, but it sounds like you were having as rough of a time as I am. I think about quitting a lot. I worked night shift last night and caught myself dry-heaving in the bathroom 4 hours into my shift. This job is literally making me sick. I like most of the people I work with, but it's definitely the type of unit-- throwing meds and leaving. I think my patients like me as well, but I totally get what you're saying. And you said it perfectly about taking care of ourselves first. That adds some perspective. I hope everything works out for you!

When I worked on the tele unit, it literally made me mentally ill. I was diagnosed with depression during that time. There were days that I couldn't even get out of bed to go to work. It was awful. I never imagined nursing to be this way. Even my mom, who has been a nurse for over 25 years, says that nursing never, ever used to be this way.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Normal new job nerves amplified by a lot because of life and death. See a counselor for some tips on handling the anxiety. You will learn to manage or even overcome it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in GI surgical.

I've just started out as a GI nurse. 2 months now and feel as though I hate it. I'm constantly looking for a new job on the area of my interest. Only 10 more months to go! Honestly, as the shifts go down the big light comes closer!

I know what you mean about not spending enough time with the patients. On a good day I have 8 patients to look after. On a bad day (which is normal as all the staff are leaving the ward) I have to look after 14. Too much stress but I guess it makes me stronger at the end of the day. For example I'm still not sleeping well... it's bad but I think are my patients going to be alright during the night etc? :/

Hope your problem resolves :) x

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion