Has this ever happened to you?

[dd_txrn, ASN, BSN]

I have to vent this out with some other people besides those I work with. We have a family member who is always complaining. My admin came and got me to speak with them ( I am the Medicare Coordinator). Her husband was dirty...teeth hair and was unshaven. ok she was WELL within her rights to gripe. I tactfully spoke with her and took her husband down hall two for the CNA's to give him a shower. 5 minutes later our DON calls the whole staff to the dining room for an 'inservice'. In front of the family member, she tells the staff that they are not doing their jobs! I felt embarrased and mad and I am not direct care, so I can only imagine how they felt. She called me and the ADON into her office later to 'defend' herself stating that the family member wasn't going to leave the dining room until she felt like staff was 'in the know'. She (the family member) also of course threatened to call state.

Now, I have only been a nurse app 8 years ( a baby nurse) but have worked in several LTC's, home health and doctors offices and NEVER been publicly humiliated. Just needed some ears for listening---thanks

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Your DON had no business doing what she did, but I know from experience that complaining family members can drive managers to desperate measures!

That said, it doesn't excuse going off on the entire staff in the dining room, let alone front of visitors---she should have called for a short staff meeting at shift change, or discussed it at stand-up the next morning. What she did was unprofessional, and it sets a horrible standard for the nurses and CNAs who are now even less likely to work together as a team, and more likely to snap and gripe at each other.

You probably already know that your best bet is to stay above the fray, and model the behavior you want to see in your subordinates. Your DON would be wise to do the same. I'm sorry this happened to you........it sounds like you are a good, conscientious nurse, and for that matter NONE of your staff deserved public humiliation.

Hope tomorrow is better.

[snowfreeze, BSN, RN]

Managers of all levels need to have more spine than that. She should have assured the family-complaining member that staff will be properly educated as to this matter. Now that complaining-person feels as though they rule the roost...I think I would put in my resignation there. Plus if calling the state and filing a complaint is a true threat??? another reason to run quickly.

Managers need to stick up for their staff and refuse to buckle under the continuous battering some people think is appropriate. A social worker to chat with the family on appropriate behavior is in order.

Another question would be 'where is the adminstrator'? Sounds like a job for that level...the threats.

And why was care not given in the first place? did this patient arrive cruddy or did this occur due to inadequate staffing? If staff is treated in this manner here my guess would be the latter.

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

First off-please don't holler at me. I totally agree that the DON was wrong in her approach. You should never demean your staff. BUT, if we all ran when someone threatened to call the state, we'd all be on Heartbreak Hill doing the Boston Marathon!! These families are struggling with all sorts of issuse- most likely guilt about putting their loved one in "the home." - and loneliness and fear. There will always be unreasonable family members and we all just have to learn how to deal with them. Think how you'd feel if your husband of 55 years was no longer the person you married and you had to entrust his care to a bunch of total strangers. You go to visit him at the facility and he is unshaved with yuck on his teeth. I think you'd all be just as upset.

Back to the point--do you have a chain of command? Go to the DON's boss and calmly tell him/her your concerns. Good luck with it.

[dd_txrn, ASN, BSN]

Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that the wife had a very valid complaint. I was (am still) just very upset and embarrassed by the way DON handled it. Family members threaten to call state all the time and we don't buckle under the pressure. I'm just confused why she thought this was appropriate behavior for a supervisor. IMO, supervisors are there to protect their staff from the constant barrage of complaints, not call them to the carpet in front of the complainer. Privately reprimand, publicly praise. It has really brought down the moral at the facility. Although it may seem like a "cowardly" thing to do, I have put in my resignation and will find employment elsewhere.

[suebird3]

In this day and age of HIPAA, WHY would the DON do things the way she did? She could have just as easily called Staff to an available Conference room, couldn't she?

Suebird

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

dd- if you have the chance to do an exit interview, make sure you tell them that the reason you're leaving is the demeaning treatment you received from the DON.

[dd_txrn, ASN, BSN]

I didn't get a chance for and exit interview. My Admin came in to my office and said " I have to see this. You forgot to sign the letter."

They have already started "training" the ADON to do my job too and will hire a "clinical assistant" for her. She will not have time to do my job and her job too. I do Medicare AND Medicaid reimbursement.

Thanks to you all for listening

[buildingmyfaith57]

i wonder just because someone has the high title they figure they can treat anyone in anyway they want. and as for the admin, they don't have to do anything either.

but i as the resident why wasn't he taking care of?

and as for the state be aware take alook at my last post on losing your license or cert.