Had a tubal, now want another baby-

sddlnscp · Jul 26, 2005

It's ok - don't panic. I've had a tubal myself and I think that it's your body's natural reaction to want children at different stages in your life. I had mine because I just knew that if I didn't, I'd end up with a housefull of children. I know that I cannot afford (well, at least to the lifestyle I want my kids to have) that many children, I am a horrible, miserable, grouchy pregnant woman, and I don't have enough time to go around for everybody if I have more children. I have 2 kiddos right now and that is a good number. :)

If you are really dead-set that you want another baby, I think you should wait a MINIMUM of 3 months (preferrably more, but that as a minimum) and see if you still feel that strongly about it. There's a chance it's your hormones tugging at your heart and if you wait it out, you might change your mind. If you don't change your mind, then maybe you can look into some options. I was really bummed the instant I had my tubal because I knew that would be the end of my baby-making, but I also knew that it was the right step for my family. You should really look into what it is that is making you want to have another baby - any changes in your life or your children - any friends or family with new/young babies - anything that might be sparking mothering instincts? These can have a psychological impact causing you to want children for all the wrong reasons. Not than any baby is a bad thing (at least not in my book), but just be honest with yourself about why you want a baby and that can help you to make a solid, honest decision.

Good luck with whatever you decide - my best advice though is to wait it out a while and see if this is truly what you want, because it will be very hard on not only you, but also your husband and, most definitely, the two little ones you already have. Worse yet, if you find you can't become pregnant or can but can't carry the baby, your children will have to suffer with you (I know - my mom went through 2 miscarriages when I was old enough to remember and it was REALLY hard on us - the kids she already had).

Best of luck to you.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jul 26, 2005

How the tubal was done depends on whether a reversal will be successful or not.

lisamc1RN, LPN · Jul 26, 2005

I totally understand where you are coming from. After my 3rd baby I had a tubal. Three and a half years later, I had a reversal. I now have a 4th child who is a beautiful blessing in our lives. Look into it, search your feelings, talk to your hubby about it and if you decide to go ahead with it, make sure you have a plan for the other kiddos while you are on bedrest. Best of luck to you! :)

ftr_bb_catchr · Jul 26, 2005

I can relate in some ways.. when I was pregnant with #3 my husband had a vasectomy, I wasn't thrilled about it but hey at 8 months pg I wasn't in the mood to argue either, and as far as he was concerned HE was DONE which meant I was done. Well after the birth of the baby I cried and cried for months, even years really, because I wanted one more. He was adamant that he had had the vas for a reason and if he had wanted more kind he wouldn't have. He wouldn't even discuss adoption or fostering. I have to say I hated him terribly at that time. He is an excellent husband and father and was never unkind about it just happy with the way things were. Well I've filled my life with school and of course the three kids and while I know that it would be totally impractical to have another baby at this point, and in fact I really wouldn't want to try to add one into the mix, I still have the ache. I've prayed about it at length and I'm at peace with where I am and most importantly I'm at peace with my husband.

But I'd say if you want another baby you'd better go ahead and do it rather than live to regret it!

blackIrish · Jul 28, 2005

Okay I had the old "talk" with the husband. He didn't really have alot to say. I would only want to go ahead with this if he wants another baby also. I did some research, found out my options and will now just wait. We have alot to do- bigger house, finances in order, etc. So, if we both are still thinking this way in 3-6 months, I will go for a reversal. I can't remember which kind of tubal I had- I would have to find out. I guess I could just go to medical records at my hospital to find out.

Thanks for all the replies and help-

bbuff

sddlnscp · Jul 28, 2005

I think you are definitely going about this very sensibly! Best of luck to you in whatever you choose. I wish you and your family all the best.

LPN_mn · Jul 28, 2005

I had a tubal done and then 2 years later ended up having hysterectomy. There are times that I want to have another baby so bad that it hurts. That is when I go get one of my nieces or nephew or a friends baby and keep them for the day. That usually satisfies me for a few weeks and makes me realize how full my life is. May not be the best solution for you but it works wonders for me. Good Luck with your decision.

rjflyn, ASN, RN · Jul 28, 2005

Have you considered adoption. There are many a child out there looking for loving familys. Plus you dont have to go through the attempt of a reversal of your tubal and the chances of it not working and then going on to further tx ie im vitro and ect. From the information the OP provided she is basicly high risk from the onset and having a tubal reversed and what ever else it takes to get pregnant just increases that risk.

Now to head off the but adoptions cost money so does a tubal reversal and any other treatments that may be required to get pregnant - most insurances wont cover this.

RJ:rolleyes:

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jul 28, 2005

The surgeon that did the surgery should be able to tell you what he/she used to do the tubal.

sddlnscp · Jul 28, 2005

Adoption really is a wonderful thing! I have neighbors who tried to get pregnant for 15 (yes - FIFTEEN) years before giving up. They spent tons of money and tried everything, including invitro and a barrage of other procedures to no avail. Anyway, they decided to adopt and have since adopted two adorable little children. They were lucky enough to get both of them as babies (actually at the hospital when one was born and the other was only 2 days old when they got him) and their life is full and complete. These kids could've had a really rough life had they not been given a good, loving home to be adopted to, but now they are loved and cherished and absolutely wonderful! That is a wonderful idea rjflyn and one that the OP should definitely keep open! No matter what avenue you choose, it is all going to be expensive - if you're in the slightest bit interested in adoption - go check it out, you could give a needy baby a happy home and the best part is, you won't have to deal with a high-risk pregnancy. :)