Going Insane!!!! Vent

RebeccaJeanRN · Mar 6, 2006

I don't know why you can't enjoy this quiet down time with your baby without feeling as though your brain is shrinking, but I will confess to the same feelings at times in my past too. Two suggestions for you: maybe get your book ahead of time for A & P and spend some of your baby's nap times looking through it. It'll just make it that much easier when you start back at school. Second suggestion: Try to enjoy this one chance only to get to know your baby and have time with her without guilt about not being in school. You'll have the rest of your life for book learning, but these days will never be given back to you. Maybe subscribe to a parents magazine and read about all the kinds of things that you'll be wanting to do with your girl as she keeps entering into new phases of growth and what to expect. Why not use this present time as an opportunity to grow the 'parenting' brain cells? Soon enough, you'll be growing your 'nursing/science' brain cells again!

Nutmeg5575 · Mar 6, 2006

Thank you for the suggestions. Trust me I do spend a lot of time with my girl. I am also subscribed to Parenting and American Baby magazine. When I am not over here reading I read on BabyCenter's message board. It's not that I don't enjoy being with my baby, I do. I never leave the house! I also don't have a husband or significant other to take turns feeding/holding/playing with the baby. I will just be glad when summer school gets here so I can get that little time away to do something else. I mean being a parent is wonderful but in those magazines it also says that you need to have a life also.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2006

I’m not a mom yet, but I have seen what my sister, who had her first kid at 36, went through with her two girls, and I think I would be as antsy as you are right now. I admire SAHM’s greatly, because I know I couldn’t do it. And I admire working moms, because I know when it’s my turn it won’t be easy. But I don’t think either group is right or wrong. My mother worked, and I’m fine. (I always find it interesting that they never bring up DADS who work, and I don’t understand why. I guess it’s OK for at least one parent, preferably the male one, to be gone all the time. To me that makes the whole debate just a ridiculous argument, but I digress!)

I feel just terrible for you. Don’t feel guilty. This is all new and different for you and I think that’s where you’re struggling. You are so very lucky to: (a) see your baby a lot, and (b) have a mom that is going to help you out. I think that’s great and I salute you both.

But back to you. Would it be possible for you to maybe do your Developmental Psych as a credit by exam course? DANTES testing (which is available to everyone now, not just the military) and Excelsior Examinations both offer a developmental psych class as an exam (I’m actually going to take the Excelsior one). Then you’d be killing two (actually a few!) birds with one stone – you are still “in school” but you can test when you’re ready, you’re earning credits, and you’re with your baby. Maybe you could study during her naptime. Just an idea.

I agree that you should enjoy your baby as much as you can right now, but I can empathize with your anxiety over school. I also think you love your little girl to bits – you’re going to be able to give her a great life when you’re out of school. Try to take it day by day and remember you always have us to vent with.

You’re a very brave person – please remember that. I think what you’re doing is amazing.

ETA: contact your school to see if they will accept those exams as credit; I forgot to mention that!!

sumthnspecial · Mar 6, 2006

Hi, I know how you feel. I was home for 4 months after my daughter was born 2 years ago, I found that I am not cut out to be a SAHM. My advice is to get out of the house. Go for a walk or walk around the mall. Try to join a mommies group, it is a good way to meet people with other little ones. I take my daughter to My Gym, it is a gym for little kids and they start out of 3 months old. I have met several other moms there with kids the same age as my daughter and we get together and have playdates. I remember that my world seemed to be shrinking when I was at home that long. I felt like I had no interaction with the outside world, even though I am married, he worked all day. I loved being home with her but after awhile it gets lonely. Good luck

JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 6, 2006

Hi, I can really relate. I have a 12-mo (plus four other children) and I'm planning on going back to school this summer. I love being with my children, playing with them, giving them loads of relaxed and undivided attention, but I also love to read and use my brain. For the past ten years I hardly opened a book and gave nearly all my time to my kids, and I see how it was not good for me. I don't have to give up being me in order to be a good mom to my kids. I'm now voraciously reading about nursing, and reviewing chem and biology textbooks. I'm learning new things every day and loving it. I still give plenty of time to my kids but not letting my brain shrink. You can order textbooks online for very cheap, plus there are zillions of websites for A&P, chemistry, and any other type of science you're interested in. I also watched the nursing videos online, linked somewhere on this site.

Enjoy your baby - these days pass sooooo quickly when they're little and snuggly! Enjoy it as much as you can.

Nutmeg5575 · Mar 6, 2006

Thanks for all the advice! Those are all great ideas. I found out that there is a mommy group that goes to the movie theater so you can get out but you don't have to worry if your little one crys. I'm going to look into that. It's funny that you mentioned the videos on this site. I found them yesterday after I posted this and I have been watching them when the little one naps. I'll also look into getting my A&P book early. It's good to know that I am not alone, and sometimes it does make you feel guilty.