Girl in my cohort is cheating

[KitKat2019]

Hi everyone!! I am a first semester BSN student and I'm kind of in a predicament... I don't know how to go about this because I don't want to have a target on my back. There is a girl in my cohort who showed me that she wrote down word-for-word questions from our mock dosage calculations test. I don't know if this is a big deal, but my intuition is telling me this isn't right. We are not supposed to take pictures and/or leave the classroom with our tests and this girl sitting next to me wrote down the questions/answers during review time. She showed this to me after class and I don't know if I should report this or not. My entire cohort is studying together in a couple of days for our med calc and first check-off and I really don't want to go because I don't trust this girl. She's also made me feel really uncomfortable bc she's asked me very personal questions that I don't feel comfortable sharing. It seemed like she was digging up info about me and she also would ask me things like, "The table you sit at during lecture is so loud, what are they talking about?" Also, she asked, "How could you afford a wedding while in college?" "What does you husband do for a living?" Etc. Those are things you ask your friends NOT someone you just met 3 days ago. And she insisted that I don't buy a parking pass for our simulation lab bc "we are all riding together." I said, sure! but I may need to come in on my own time in case I need to practice and study in the library", She said, "No if you go during the week, we'll ride together bc I need to practice too." She is trying to control me and wouldn't let me buy a parking permit. I have a family and other responsibilities and sometimes our schedules won't overlap. She never has anything to follow up with her odd Q's and I just don't feel like I can trust her. Any advice??

[KitKat2019]

I know it sounds insane, but those words came out of her mouth. I said, "I'm going to get a permit so I can have one too." She said, "no don't get a permit because we'll all ride together." I said," I need one so I can come in on my own to use the library or practice my skills." She said, "no I'll ride with you whenever you go in." I gave her a weird look and walked off. It was really strange.

[gM_2010, MSN, PhD, RN, NP]

Cheating is not a new problem in nursing schools. I would encourage you to talk to the instructor and let them handle it going forward. Your colleague isn't worthy of the degree if she isn't doing the work and demonstrating sufficient mastery to move herself along. She also isn't safe to be turned loose on unsuspecting patients.

Nurses are consistently rated among the most trustworthy of all professionals. A student who is aware of a cheater and does nothing is just as guilty as the cheater .

Do the right thing and talk to your faculty. Good luck!

[lhflanurseNP, APRN]

It "seems" that your cohort is looking to develop a "bond". She may be very insecure and sees you as a mentor but is approaching things the wrong way. She may not feel that she was "cheating", but making sure that she would do well in the test...maybe she is a poor test taker and the anxiety led her to make a poor decision. Maybe by letting you know she was seeking support. Either way, I believe you need to set some boundaries and by all means, if you want your own permit...get one.

[righteousjenn]

Please be advised that nursing school is the Hunger Games- everyone is out for themselves. You guys are only three days in and she's already proven to be a controlling friend. There might be a point where you witness something in clinical's and if she has you tied around her finger, you will not tell on her; she might blame it on you and then what? I don't trust people when they have a personality like that, they always have an alternative motive. I would find out the policy about cheating and read it. You might be just as guilty as them just for knowing about it. When I was in nursing school, there were people passing around the "professors test bank" to the books we had and most of our instructors would pull questions from there. I avoided studying with these people, and I always brought it up "if you guys have the test bank, I don't want to be involved, nor do I want to know where it's coming from."

Do not go to study groups with this girl, you guys will all be charged with cheating. If it's still bothering you, go to an instructor; you will feel guilty, but much better.

[WestKyKing]

Are you the type of person who doesn't like confrontation? At an older job, I would have people asked me real serious personal questions, people who I barely knew. They were usually the type who like to gossip, you can easily tell this because sometimes they'll start the first few conversations with you by telling you what they've seen or heard about someone else. I just redirect the question, or joke it off. Most of the information I gave people at work was vague unless we were close. It's the same now in school. I've also had people attempt to "rope" me in, like she is doing to you. You just have to create/force some distant. I'm a guy though, so it's easy for me to avoid the nursing school drama at times, lol.

But, I would be careful about the whole answer key thing. If this isn't allowed, and you get caught "studying" with it, that's your career. So if you don't want the "target" the best bet is to just create that distance b/w that individual. It's either having friends or having a career.

[WestKyKing]

Also....buy your own permit, lol. You're an adult. It is your money. That's like not buying new socks because your neighbor said, " naw, it's ok whenever you need some just come to my door and ask for mine." No one can stop you from getting a parking permit, unless she's like at the door every of the office with a baseball bat, then you have more serious issues....

Stand up for yourself.

Actually, watch the movie Mean Girls. There's a good message behind it.

((sorry for the double post))

[LaCutiePie]

Please be advised that nursing school is the Hunger Games- everyone is out for themselves.

When you were in nursing school, everybody was all for themselves? I thought nursing school is where students help each other. Can you explain a little bit more? Thanks :)

[vanilla bean]

I know it sounds insane, but those words came out of her mouth. I said, "I'm going to get a permit so I can have one too." She said, "no don't get a permit because we'll all ride together." I said," I need one so I can come in on my own to use the library or practice my skills." She said, "no I'll ride with you whenever you go in." I gave her a weird look and walked off. It was really strange.

Yes, but did you give her a weird look, walk off, and *then go buy your parking permit*? Letting a stranger dictate your actions is also, IMO, really strange.

[bgxyrnf, MSN, RN]

Personally, I'm a big believer in minding my own business and letting the system address academic dishonesty on its own. It's not my problem and I'm not going to get involved one way or the other... keep the whole thing at an arm's distance.

Regarding the questions that are considered to be too personal, simply blow them off with inane responses... or just be direct and say that you'd prefer to keep your private life private. As far as parking permits and what-have-you, just do what you choose to do and ignore her.

Pretty simple, honestly.

[bgxyrnf, MSN, RN]

Please be advised that nursing school is the Hunger Games- everyone is out for themselves.

Fortunately, that wasn't my experience. I attended school with some very supportive and helpful people. Perhaps it was that we were all second-degree students and aged 29-55.

[ilovebirds]

Oh gosh. First - set boundaries. If she's asking personal questions, tell her you don't feel comfortable sharing that much information. Also, since when is it a thing for strangers to try to control other stranger's lives (RE: the permit) like that? Creepy. That's a red flag.

Now, with regard to the cheating thing ... I would advise that you avoid studying with her or with students that cheat - it's possible for you to also get in trouble. Reporting it is your call to make, but know that you *could* get in trouble as well (depending on your school's policy).

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

I know it sounds insane, but those words came out of her mouth. I said, "I'm going to get a permit so I can have one too." She said, "no don't get a permit because we'll all ride together." I said," I need one so I can come in on my own to use the library or practice my skills." She said, "no I'll ride with you whenever you go in." I gave her a weird look and walked off. It was really strange.

How about "The issue really isn't up for discussion?"

Trust me, you need to set boundaries! If you don't learn how, you won't be able to advocate for your patients, OR for yourself. You'll be one of those who doesn't claim her right to pee and drink H2O prn!