Getting Fired or Resign?

diane227, LPN, RN · Aug 18, 2009

Never ever get fired if you can resign. You never want to have to put a termination on your resume if you can help it.

diane227, LPN, RN · Aug 18, 2009

If you let them fire you just so you can get unemployment for 6 months, you are going to have 6 months of time that you are going to have to explain on your resume. The next employer is going to want to know what you were doing for the 6 months that you were out so you better be prepared to answer that question.

jnge2 · Jan 24, 2010

I got fired for forgetting to give a resident his meds. I was called in the office the next day and was asked to leave. Can I colllect unemployment? This place has a revolving door for staff and I should have seen the writing on the wall before I took the job. The ED also told me some things I said to other staff members like this is just a job for me and I feel like I was demoted after I was asked change my hours. She brought these things up to me when she fired me.

Journey_On, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2010

I know this thread is a few years old, but I feel like I'm in a similar situation as the OP. I had a meeting with the DON of our floor, and to make a long story short, I was given the opportunity to resign. Reading this thread has made me feel a little better about possibly making the decision to resign. I would rather resign than getting terminated. If I left now, I would leave in good standing.

I was thinking of maybe continuing to work on my floor and being really careful in my work performance while I find a job, but I don't know if I should take my chances. I am just worried about finding another nursing job in this economy.....I don't want to go through what I went through last year (struggled with the job search). But I have to make the right decision for myself.

trustsupplyguy, how are things going now?

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jul 5, 2010

If you have the opportunity to resign, do it. Granted, being fired may give you the right to collect unemployment...but it will also give you something that you have to explain to the next potential employer.

trustsupplyguy · Jul 5, 2010

As the original poster, I thought I'd chime in with a few thoughts in retrospect.

- It's best to resign before they fire you, because it will be easier to explain going forward.

- If you feel they want to get rid of you, you are probably correct. The more you delay getting out, the more of a problem you become, and the more management will intensify the pressure to get rid of you.

- One possibility is to tell your manager, "I'd like to resign, but I need some time to look for another position. Would it be OK if I set my termination date a month from now?" They may be so relieved you're leaving that they'll be happy to give you this consideration. Something similar to this worked for me in a previous, non-nursing job.

- No one wants to be looking for a job, especially in this environment, but be willing to take a worse position than your current job. After resigning, I took a job with a lot less pay and a long commute, but I was committed to improving myself. The result was I got a good recommendation from my manager, which resulted in my current job where I'm very happy. I was also willing to do travel nursing if I had to.

- Hire someone to check your references. You need to know who you can trust to speak well of you during your job search. Try Googling "reference checking service".

- When looking for a job, it's easy to assume that you are the only one who has had problems. But many nurses have encountered problems in their careers, and there is a good chance that one of them is the nurse who is interviewing you! In the interviews I had, no one ever probed deeply into my past situation. Just come up with a general, plausible statement for why you left, and have some positive references.

- If you're depressed, which is natural, develop a positive attitude toward yourself. Skim the book "Positivity, " written by psychologist who presents hard facts about why a positive attitude is essential to success. People are better problem solvers when they are in a positive mood; self-analysis is more accurate and helpful. Employers want to hire positive people, and such people recover from setbacks more easily. If you have time, check out "Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem" and some books on the psychology of resilience.

- I put Post-It notes on my computer with pearls from my readings, so everyday I would see messages like: "You're getting betting at seeing things in a positive light" or "As your self-esteem improves, you are less sensitive to criticism" or "We learn in life by our mistakes; resilient people stay calm and focus on problem solving."

- Learn about your own stress and anger. Both of these can seriously impair your career by triggering your flight or fight response, which will result in dealing with co-workers and managers on a reflexive, negative emotional level. I've learned to recognize my stress / anger triggers (making a mistake, being too self-critical, having to deal with an unreasonable person, getting criticized, not getting a break) so I can take a quick pause and change my thinking. The above books helped me with this.

- There are times I get so stressed out, that all the positive thinking and deep breathing in the world can't normalize my heart rate and blood pressure. In those situations, I now take a quick break and self-administer a half a Benadryl caplet (12.5 mg) or an herbal valerian capsule. It makes a HUGE difference. In a few minutes my body calms down, and I'm in a much better mood. Experiment in a non-critical situation with dosages, so you can find the right dose for you.

- Try adding some magnesium to your diet. Magnesium is essential for muscle relaxation, and by supplementing it, either orally or via Epsom salt baths, I'm much more relaxed and in a better mood. Most people are magnesium deficient, but do some research to help find the right dose for you.

- If you're stress / anger prone, avoid caffeine!

- OK, I know I put a lot of emphasis on the emotional part of this, but that's because this piece is critical and it get's so little attention. It's critical in finding a new job, and in preventing the problem from happening again. Most on-the-job problems are caused by attitude, not by a lack of skill or ability. Right now I know a great person who worked her way up from CNA to Nurse Practitioner. She is very smart and caring, yet she was recently forced to find a new job because of personality issues with her manager. If she could have maintained a calm, positive, problem-solving mood when dealing with him, I'm convinced she wouldn't have been forced out!

- Finally, once you learn more about your own anger / stress behavior, you'll become better at recognizing it in others. This will help you see how damaging this it is, and you'll deal with it more calmly and rationally. It's easier to keep a good mood when you realize someone's stress or anger is blowing things out of proportion!

caliotter3 · Jul 5, 2010

Excellent post OP, and thanks for letting us know you are doing fine now!

Journey_On, BSN, RN · Jul 5, 2010

trustsupplyguy,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They were very helpful.

I actually met with my manager today and gave my official letter of resignation. It went very well, and it was the best decision to make. I feel that I have left on very good, friendly terms with my manager and the co-workers I said good-bye to. I have confidence they will be good references for the future. The thing I will miss the most about this job are my co-workers, but I am glad I got their phone numbers.

simplybme · Jul 6, 2010

I'm glad I found this thread. I've been having problems for months with my boss and after getting a written warning, I remained where I work instead of looking for another job and moving on. The written warning was baseless. I won't go into it here. Now, have a final written warning for something blown out of proportion and I'm very scared of being fired before I can resign. My coworkers were witnesses to what happened and tried to talk to my boss on my behalf but all she did was change the wording of the warning so that their witness makes no impact.

My boss and I have had "issues" for a while but it's now pretty apparent to me and the other nurses that she just wants me out at this point. I wrote my first draft for my resignation tonight. My only reservation in turning it in is not having a job secured first. I've been applying everywhere for the past month and have gone on a few interviews but it seems like no one will hire me. I'm experienced with 10+ years and not being snatched up right away is confusing the heck out of me. Maybe the stress is showing up during the interviews but I can't keep thinking of how much easier it was to get a nursing job when I wanted a new one years ago. I was trying to hold off for another month to see if someone will hire me, but I'm not sure my boss will let me last that long. What if I turn in my resignation and don't get hired by anyone for months? Every time I think about that I cringe. Every time I think about giving my boss the satisfaction in firing me, I get upset. After reading your responses to this thread, I see resigning is a much better option for me. It would be on my terms. I just wish I had a job lined up first. I'm so tired of the stress this place has caused me. My family, coworkers, and friends have been supportive during these past few challenging months but I think I've gotta hang my towel at this place.

One thing I've learned out of all of this is that I should never point out my boss' weaknesses or challenge them to do the right thing in front of others. Not even if I'm right and they're wrong. Never turns out well. I don't mean be this way, its just that I don't like standing around and watching unfair treatment and favoritism. Sometimes things are just black and white to me and I have an urge to speak my mind. I'm now learning to keep these things to myself more often. I also learned to go with my gut instinct the first time. The first year at this job, I cried to my mom every time I would mention how I was being disrespected and the blatant favoritism that I saw. If I ever find myself in a place that makes me feel miserable again, I'm going to bolt quickly. I'm a pretty happy person but I feel the stress at this place has caused me to become very defensive, guarded, and miserable company for my friends and family to be around. I can't believe I lasted as long as I have really. My coworkers are great. Management has LOTS of room for improvement. Oh well, you live and you learn right?

RNforLongTime · Jul 6, 2010

Trustsupplyguy,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and coming back to update us!

I was fired over 4 yrs ago from a job in a trauma/surgical/cardiac ICU.

Basically, it boils down to the fact that my nurse manager felt threatened by my move to take my last employee performance eval to HR for a grievance as she had NO documentation to back up what she wrote on it. Since she KNEW HR would side with me, she used a pt situation to have me fired. Because I was able to provide unemployment with situations in which other RN's(the nurse manager included) provided unsafe patient care(the reason HR listed as reason for my termination) I was awarded unemployment!! ALL those RN's I listed in the situations are STILL employed at that hospital!!! One RN's patient had a seizure during the night..that RN did not call the attending but passed the info on to the day shift nurse, who then passed it on to the attending who was LIVID that the night shift nurse did not call to report the seizure!! He too still has his job! That same nurse was caught sleeping by a family member in an empty patient room, just got a slap on the wrist for that incident!!

Because I live and work in a small community, people at that hospital know people at the other hospital(where I started out as a new grad and left on good terms) who know people at the VA hospital who know people at the Select Specialty hospital who know people at the current hospital where I am employed, I've basically been unhirable at any of those other places! And believe me, I've tried!! I had a great interview in Feb with the DON at the Select Specialty hospital and I was turned down(I KNOW they called the hospital that fired me and was told I was do-not-hire and god knows WHAT else).

The hospital where I first worked as a new grad doesn't even aknowledge my applications anymore. I have also applied at the VA hospital before but since I was fired from that position less than 5 yrs ago, they won't even look at my application either.

I HATE where I currently work! We just lost one of our RN's to the VA and another one was taken off work by her OB at 30 weeks. It's a small unit I work in to begin with so losing two full time staffers really hurts us!

There are a myriad of reasons why I despise where I work...we have no true unit manager...the last unit manager resigned last September and has not been replaced...the DON is officiallly our unit leader but she is SO busy with her other duties that the day to day issues that arise in our small ICU are overlooked by her. She was told by the pregnant RN back in February that she'd be off on leave before her due date so that someone could be hired and trained but that suggestion fell on deaf ears so now management is scrambling to find coverage for the holes. We have some RNs in our unit who really DO NOT belong in here because they are useless in a crisis situation and leave a LOT of work to be done by the next shift because they claim they didn't "have time to do it because I was too busy". Yet, they are busy EVERY shift they work no matter what is going on!!

I'm a good nurse. I reallly didn't deserve to get fired from that last job as a BUNCH of former coworkers, one who was a charge nurse in that unit on day shift even told me he felt I got screwed. as did the rest of the one's I ran into in town.

So, I'm stuck at my current job until I just cannot take it anymore....I don't want to go back to LTC but since no hospitals around will hire me that's what I'll be forced to do. It sucks because I am really good at being a bedside critical care RN

simplybme · Jul 10, 2010

I just came back to update. I received and offer this week from an insurance company as a case manager and I'm excited to begin in a new nursing field and leave bedside nursing for a while. My current unit manager has run down my confidence and even though I KNOW she's wrong and just spiteful, I'm thinking that this change is better for me in the long run. I plan to give me resignation next week. I've already asked HR to let me see my personnel records. How can you find out if I'm a re-hire or not? Does anyone know? I'd hate to leave and have to explain that to my future employer.

caliotter3 · Jul 10, 2010

I just came back to update. I received and offer this week from an insurance company as a case manager and I'm excited to begin in a new nursing field and leave bedside nursing for a while. My current unit manager has run down my confidence and even though I KNOW she's wrong and just spiteful, I'm thinking that this change is better for me in the long run. I plan to give me resignation next week. I've already asked HR to let me see my personnel records. How can you find out if I'm a re-hire or not? Does anyone know? I'd hate to leave and have to explain that to my future employer.

There are reference checking firms that will do reference checking for a cost of about $80. I would advise using one of these firms instead of a friend who might give themselves away during the call.