Families!

Specialties Geriatric

Published

Why do some families look for things that are wrong (I use the term wrong in the loosest possible way? Today a family complained that mothers room was too cold, I went in wearing substantially less and was roasted alive. The other day an aggressive resident was going out with her family, she was that aggressive that when she was incontinent minutes before the family came we managed to change everything but could not get fresh socks on her - what does the daughter notice straight away (by lifting mums trouser legs up I amy add!). My gran is also in care and I believe the staff should be rewarded for the good they do not slandered for minor events that I know cannot be helped (unless nurse looks good with two black eyes!). Is it guilt, is it blame, is it that we are all just moaners, do we naturally focus on the negative nowadays????

:idea:Here's an idea, give a nurse a pat on the back (gently though as we all have bad backs!)

Specializes in Vascular Access Nurse.

my favorite complaint was from a family member who said "your ice cream melts when it's left out"! maintenance said they could fix that problem, but other patients might not be happy with the room temp.....:uhoh3:

sometimes it's laugh or cry...and i'd rather just laugh. i could take care of any patient, but the families can drive me insane (er)! :trout:

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there is a running joke at my facility, we should interview the families, and then, if they meet our expectations, we will admit their loved one! i believe that most of the nitpicking is guilt that their loved on is in ltc. on the other hand we have wonderful families that are here all the time, and help out. the most interesting thing i have observed is the family that complained about everything, then, after the mother passes, the daughter started to come out every week to call bingo and has nothing but good things to say about our facility.

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I totally agree that this is a guilt thing--especially if one family member has ANY kind of medical background. One of my colleagues says that the out-of-town family is worse. She calls them pigeons--"They fly in, crap on you, then get the heck out of town." Then the genuine, concerned family memebers have to try to make ammends for the others behavior.

Ohhhh... this describes my MIL to a tee. For over a year she had her mother in the NH behind our house. We'd pick up her meds and go to see her several times a week just to say hi and see how everything was going for her. Then my MIL, a busy bee, does exactly what was described above. She'd tell my husband on the phone what she was planning on doing to the NH staff... the smallest thing would not be right enough for her so she'd fly in, crap on everyone. and got the heck out of town. This was so embarrassing for me as I'd have to be there, and I didn't want them to think that I was there to cause trouble. I will say that NH was one of the best ones in this area and they really aren't going to find anything better in this area.

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Specializes in LTC.

On the flipside of that, I have some wonderful family members that I will miss dearly when I take my departure from LTC after I finish school. I've met some wonderful people over the years that are like my own family.

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

Where I work we really don't have a problem with families. No one cares enough about them to even call, let alone visit. We have the folks that have been cast off from families, group homes, state institutuions, etc. After Katrina and Rita some came and the families never picked them up. It's sad. :o

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Throughout the years I have had my father, mother and mother-in-law in a total of 10 nursing homes in three states.

Most of the nursing homes were excellent. I did want my family cared for and to that end I did visit frequently, assisted with meals (my mother was total care for the 11 days she was in the nursing home), changed them, turned them, etc.. I also thanked everyone involved in their care.

Thanking staff is the most important thing you can do when you have a loved one in care.

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Yesterday, a resident complained that she was missing a pack of cigarettes. I thought I would be helpful so I called the daughter to find out exactly where she had put the cigarettes when she brought them in.:madface: The daughter said she left them by the nurses desk with a note on them and then start yelling and screaming about how the staff must have stolen the cigarettes and how she was going to call the administrator first thing this morning etc. etc. etc.:trout:

Wheeeewwwww (shaking my head)

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Where I work we really don't have a problem with families. No one cares enough about them to even call, let alone visit. We have the folks that have been cast off from families, group homes, state institutuions, etc. After Katrina and Rita some came and the families never picked them up. It's sad. :o

I could never abandon my family members or friends...

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Specializes in LTC.
Why do some families look for things that are wrong (I use the term wrong in the loosest possible way? Today a family complained that mothers room was too cold, I went in wearing substantially less and was roasted alive. The other day an aggressive resident was going out with her family, she was that aggressive that when she was incontinent minutes before the family came we managed to change everything but could not get fresh socks on her - what does the daughter notice straight away (by lifting mums trouser legs up I amy add!). My gran is also in care and I believe the staff should be rewarded for the good they do not slandered for minor events that I know cannot be helped (unless nurse looks good with two black eyes!). Is it guilt, is it blame, is it that we are all just moaners, do we naturally focus on the negative nowadays????

:idea:Here's an idea, give a nurse a pat on the back (gently though as we all have bad backs!)

I believe it is guilt. These families can't do anything else so they have to knitpick to feel as if they are having some input. I was in a similiar situation with my mom. Before I became a nurse in LTC myself, my mom was in nursing home (stroke) and if she complained to me about something she was not receiving from staff I would question, question, question. After starting to work in LTC I saw both sides of the story and changed my mind. AND of course the families always seem to pop in at the worse times don't they? Try to just let it roll off your shoulders if you can. ;)

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