Pissed Off!!! - page 3
:( Ok, well im 18 years old and along with 3 other girls in my class, we are the youngest. The four of us sit together with another student and she is in her 30's. Well....first off, this woman has... Read More
Oct 4, '02Joined: May '02; Posts: 399; Likes: 8Originally posted by Melisita
Well, i just wanted to thank everyone for the replies. On the other hand, i think maybe too many of you took my story very personally, and were offended by it. I was only trying to voice my feelings, and opinions. yes, i was offended by this woman, and yes i was defending myself. Perhaps i defended myself in an immature manner by lashing out back at her, and i see that now. But by no means, do i feel everything is all about ME, ME, ME...that would be quite ironic, being that im going to become a NURSE. Now i really see...i should get use to people not taking me serioulsy, and people having some inacurate preceptions of me because im quite young. I will try my hardest to prove myself in this world, because i can be just as good of a nurse as the next woman despite my age.
Don't try to prove yourself. You'll only lose yourself. Just BE. The ones that matter will appreciate you for you. The rest can.. jump. :kiss
Oct 4, '02Joined: Jun '01; Posts: 160Geez, I don't know when the 30's got to be old, but I don't know if I believe you were discriminated because of your age...It was a rude question no matter. I'll be 31 in 2 wks and I wouldn't even dream of asking one of my best friends about her sex life. Just plain rude...not to mention there's a time and place for everything and nursing school surely isn't the place for such a discussion. But then again I'm kinda old-fashioned so maybe things have changed.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: fulltime student Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 2,025; Likes: 1I will have to agree that the replies have been tainted by things that may or may not have happened to one or all of us in school, but those of us on here do not know this woman and we do not know you so we really do not know in what context this conversation was......I am not trying to say you would come on here and say something that was not true......there are times when some conversations spiral from one topic towards another and while some topics may be uncomfortable for one they may not be for another. It is a difference in perception and in personality.
I am a non traditional student and basically we have lived and learned so much that we sometimes forget that the younger generation is not as forthcoming and open about things as we are. We discuss a wide variety of topics that make the younger students uncomfortable at first, but they have gotten used to us and we all blend very well together now. I have those that I really don't care for, but I just smile and stay across the room or whatnot....I am not rude or anything of the like...it takes too much energy that can be used for studying. Good luck in school and in finding a workable solution to this problem............
Oct 4, '02Occupation: student with two crappy part time jobs Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 244; Likes: 1Calling someone old is not defending yourself. Politely telling her that it was none of her business would have been the mature way to defend yourself.
I doubt the woman turned around and asked her the question out of the blue. Probably trying to fit in instead, and tried to join the conversation.
Age is only a number, how we think and feel is what differentiates us between "young" and "old."
Step back and give yourself time to cool off if someone is bothering you. That lady is nothing compared to what you're going to have to deal with down the road. People will be yelling at you, calling you names you've only heard on tv, throwing things at you, and maybe worse if you're one of the unfortunate ones. Their family members will join and make your life miserable if you let them. And to top it all off management will expect you to deal with it with a smile on your face to help their "customer satisfaction" scores.
Good luck in school, keep a cool head, don't party too much, and study hard. And keep an eye out for those "old" students, their life experience will prove valuable to you if you get to know them.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: LTC Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 3,254; Likes: 53Life is a beeotch as you will learn. Deal with it or get over it... then move on. Your life now is all about becoming a nurse and dealing with the real world with real patients...it's called reality. You just started school what, a month ago? If things are bothering you already, You're going to have a rough time getting through this. Chill out, relax and study hard. A little hint...i is capitalized when refering to yourself so don't think of yourself as small case.
Oct 4, '02Occupation: Proud and Educated Licensed Vocation Nurse Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 1,286; Likes: 27Originally posted by sunnygirl272
Oznurse & Connie took the words right outa my keyboard...lol...
Oct 5, '02Joined: May '02; Posts: 479; Likes: 3Rudeness is standard anymore. I have had very rude remarks made to me in many situations. School administrators, professors, secretaries and students feel they have a right to be rude to the very nontraditional student. So don't think that its only young students who have rude remarks make to them. Next time just say " I don't care for that remark or question? " Watch them get all embarassed and defensive. Some people just don't know the Golden Rule. Is this what I would want someone to say to me? Then again you also have to stand up for yourself and let people know you expect respect from them. Her remarks were disrespectful (talking about sex in the classroom is inappropriate). However I wonder if you exclude her from conversations and discussions and she was trying some how to belong? Why not just have an honest talk with her it couldn't hurt she might turn into a friend. When she is 50 and your 40 the age difference won't matter.
Oct 5, '02Occupation: Psychiatric Research Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 1,467; Likes: 6Melisita,
It is not your responsibility to make this woman your friend.
SHE has been 18 and should know what to expect from you. YOU have not been 30.
She has the opportunity to choose her friends from a classful of people. If she does not fit in with you, there are others she can talk to...I find it interesting that she has not gravitated to others closer to her age.
Some people feel a need to make others look small in order to feel important. This is what her comments made her sound like. Polite but distant is a good way for you to go...
Sometimes people with an age advantage bully those who are younger.
I finished nursing school at age 42. Our youngest class member was 17 when we started. I got the "old" comments a few times (although it was not deliberate; I was older than some of the younger student's moms so naturally they thought I was ancient!).
I thought it was funny because I could remember doing the same to people when I was 18 (still in touch with my inner teenager).
The woman who sat next to me for our two years of school was 19 when we graduated; we gradually became friends and studied together; we were friends partly because I let her lead the friendship. I loved her enthusiasm and she loved my calmness and low stress level.
If she hadn't been the kind of person I liked, though, I'd have moved across the classroom and found another seat...school is NOT the same as work. Avoid the stressors of disagreeable people when you can!
Oct 5, '02Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 10,236; Likes: 64Originally posted by researchrabbit
Sometimes people with an age advantage bully those who are younger.
Oct 5, '02Occupation: Nurse Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 12,715; Likes: 2Originally posted by researchrabbit
...school is NOT the same as work. Avoid the stressors of disagreeable people when you can!
Oct 5, '02Occupation: ICU Specialty: ICU ; Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 91; Likes: 72When someone asks you a very personal or inappropriate question this is what you can say. "Why do you want to know?" It turns it around on them and makes them uncomfortable. You could just say that that is a topic that you find highly personal and do not wish to answer.
You will encounter lots of personality differences in the medical field. You will encounter people who are rude to you. For example I am taking my prerequisites and working as a cna. I am a big girl and nightly I have some elderly person commenting on my weight. Asking me what I am going to do with all that fat, or telling me I need to lose weight. Or I am described to coworkers by residents as the big girl with the big stomach or the big chest. Just the other night a female resident ,who doesn't like me because when she yelled at me last week I told her not to yell at me and that I was just trying to help her. She is very set in her ways and is very particular about how she is put to bed. I was not used to her routine. Anyway, she says to a coworker,"Don't let that big woman who sticks out her chest put me to bed." The coworker actually repeated this to me in front of other coworkers I was embarrassed. Sometimes you just got to suck it up, though. I just felt sorry for them because some people do not have compassion or good sense. That will not serve them well in their futures. People may not always remember what you say, but they always remember how you made them feel. Just try and stay away from the rude lady.
Oct 5, '02Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 119; Likes: 1I think that since you are just getting to know each other, maybe it was a little too strong of a question to ask, but most people, young women in particular, talk about sex freely these days. Right then, you should have said, "I tink that's too personal." then went on. That would have earned you respect right there! Something tells me that you would have been talking about this kind of thing with your younger friends anyway even if she wasn't there. It's not like she asked you what your favorite position is.
Being second oldest in my class, 36, if she has commented about feeling old, she may have been wanting you to think she was young and hip like you. You will find out that until you're about 25, you will not get respect from most people, men or women. Granted, you deserve respect just for being human, but you have not earned it in the real world yet. But it will come, you will find your niche in life, have a family and career and just as you're feeling good about your life, someone will call you old because you're 30 something. I guarantee you that you will not understand why they think that because you will look and feel just about the same as you did when you were 18, only smarter, more mature, and not as sensative.
I have a classmate who just turned 21 and she acts like a teen shooting her mouth off at many turns. Snapping back at people and kicking them where it hurts the most is just as childish as what she said. PLUS...It's wrong.
Take this as lesson learned and go on.