nurses who don't want students

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I am so frustrated. The nurse I was paired with today was not happy to have a nursing student. If I asked a question, she would roll her eyes. I almost quit today. I had to choke back the tears. I was so exicted to be in L&D today and she ruined it. I stayed up till 1am this morning reading about women and childbirth so I could be prepared with questions and she completely blew me off. My instructor never checks on us. Nursing school is not what I thought it would be. What do I do?

Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

If I could just add a perspective from the other side.

It may be that this nurse is a very good preceptor and you caught her on a bad day. As someone who has precepted a lot, I can tell you that there are days when you just don't feel up to it. It's a big responsibility to have someone you are responsible for in addition to your patient. On the whole I love to teach, and think I am generally very good at it. But that can sometimes be the problem. The people who like to teach and precept and are reasonably good at it tend to get stuck with it more than people who have a bad attitude about it. It just makes it easier for the administration to not put students with the people who complain about it a lot. But it does mean that the people who do enjoy it and can do it, wind up getting a student every single day, and they just get burned up by it. I know I have asked to take a break from precepting every now and then, just to recharge my batteries.

I know there are people out there who give students a hard time, just because they can and I am not trying to make excuses for them. But I do think you should understand that sometimes even instructors can go into overload and this can manifest itself in different ways that students naturally take personally. Believe me, it is not about you.

Perhaps if you find yourself with a preceptor in the future who seems a bit of an attitude, you can acknowledge their frustration by saying something like, "I know precepting can be hard work and you must get sick of it sometimes, but I am really conscientious about learning this technique/procedure and I would really appreciate if you could help me understand better at a time that it more convenient to you". Most people will come around and warm up to you if they feel that you understand where they are coming from.

Also, check your own attitude (not you personally, but people out there generally). I have had students who strut in with an attitude of "it's your job to teach me this". Like I owe them! Trust me, this will not help! I'm not saying you need to kiss their feet, but be aware that teaching/precepting is an ADDITIONAL duty for them on top of their normal responsibilities. The bottom line is, the patient will always come first and you will generally get whatever is left over after that! They don't stop being responsible for everything else just because you are there.

Specializes in Cardiac.

I think that most students who post these type of posts do not do so from isolated experiences. Meaning, it's not just one nurse, it's usually a culture at some hospitals.

I had horrible clinicals at 2 hospitals, and great experiences at only 1. For the horrible hospitals, some nurses would say things like, "where are the little nurse wanna-bes" or "I have a stupid student assigned to me today-great!"

When we asked questions, they would sigh, or do the eye roll, or give you short, short answers and were obviously pained to be with us.

People aren't stupid. We can tell when people are having a bad day, or just plain mean.

There's no excuse really. It's the nature of the job. We help train each other. And it's just not that difficult a concept to muster up enough energy to be decent or polite. I think most students aren't asking for a friend, they are simply asking not to be belittled or made to feel like a heel.

That's all...

Specializes in Psych..
I am so frustrated. The nurse I was paired with today was not happy to have a nursing student. If I asked a question, she would roll her eyes. I almost quit today. I had to choke back the tears. I was so exicted to be in L&D today and she ruined it. I stayed up till 1am this morning reading about women and childbirth so I could be prepared with questions and she completely blew me off. My instructor never checks on us. Nursing school is not what I thought it would be. What do I do?

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I start clinicals next month and I worry about this problem, because I am too sensitive at times. I understand some nurses don't want to be teachers. By the same token, this nurse should understand that you, the student, did not choose them specifically to be your teacher.

It may take a bit more effort to keep our problems to ourselves rather than acting it out on others, but isn't that part of being a mature adult? If I were rude every time my cashier at the grocery store was slow, or someone cut me off in traffic, and I got annoyed and acted on it...well, I'd probably be banned from the grocery store or shot by a crazy person with road rage. I let Mr. Bad Driver roll off my back, but that doesn't mean his actions shouldn't also be corrected.

I fully agree, students need to learn how to let things like this roll off our backs, because not everyone will be friendly and helpful. But putting full responsibility for resolving a situation like crimsondawn's on the student is excusing inexcusable behavior from the nurse.

Crimsondawn, I hope things have gotten better. You owe it to yourself not to let another person crush your confidence or enthusiasm. You do not have to let this person rob you of a great learning opportunity. Thicker skin, c'mon, you can do it!

Off topic, I love how Daytonite applied the nursing process to this issue. I'm going to try this on problems and decisions in my own life.

**There were some replies made as I was typing mine out. I just wanted to say thank you to TakeTwoAspirin for her post. If I have a bad experience like this in clinicals, I will not assume my teacher is going to be less than helpful every day.**

Hi OP,

I really relate to you. I'm not in NS yet but recently I had a new manager at work who was incredibly mean to me. It was my first day with her and she gave me attitude all day. She was racist and when she wasn't snapping at me, she was ignoring me! Then she called the boss infront of me and said that I hadn't done anything all day and that I had given HER attitude. I almost started to cry but decided to just grab my bag and leave, telling a coworker on my way out that I was quiting.

And now, I've been freaking out ever since. I don't care about the job but I'm terrified I won't be able to handle "mean people" because I do not have thick skin. I would totally freak out if someone was mean to me in a situation like that, especially since I would be so eager to learn too!

I have read most of the replies and I think they were great. Talking to your instructor is the best idea. I don't know how clinicals work (if you will be back with that nurse or not) but maybe you could tell your instructor what happened and ask "What if this happens again..should I come to you immediately?" etc.

I also think it's a mixture of realizing that someone might just be having a bad day or whatever else. This is kind of silly but whenever someone is mean to me I always try to picture that something really bad is going on in their life and I start to feel sorry for them. It depends on the situation, and it doesn't always work, but it can usually help me keep a smile on my face, and the tears from coming out!!

Good luck!

Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Hi Crimson

Not all nurses are like that AT ALL.

You are going to find the 'huffy' ones but trust me most of us are ever so willing to assist and impart knowledge.

I am presently taking out 3 students at a time with me. I have 40 students in total from their LPN program and I love answering their questions.

I find most nursing students are so hungry for knowledge and generally interested. Why would I want to dampen that eh?

It gets better, put this down to experience and move on.

Sometimes in nursing we get hit with hard knocks. We brush ourselves off, hold the head high and move on.

Sounds like you are a very interested student. :)

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I am so frustrated. The nurse I was paired with today was not happy to have a nursing student. If I asked a question, she would roll her eyes. I almost quit today. I had to choke back the tears. I was so exicted to be in L&D today and she ruined it. I stayed up till 1am this morning reading about women and childbirth so I could be prepared with questions and she completely blew me off. My instructor never checks on us. Nursing school is not what I thought it would be. What do I do?

Here is some food for thought:

1. Nobody can ruin your clinical experience unless you give them consent to do so.

2. Nobody else can make you cry unless you give them permission. No one else can knock you off your cloud unless you permit them to get to your head. In other words, toughen up!

3. Don't arrive at your clinical site with the expectation that the nurse with which you're paired will actually want to help you. Not all nurses are enthusiastic about having students, so don't be offended if their behavior reflects disinterest.

4. Nurses have the right to refuse students.

5. Please don't cry over another rude nurse again. I am certain that the nurse who doesn't like students is not going to be losing any sleep over you, so don't allow her to rent space inside your head. She won't lose any sleep over you, and she won't shed a tear over you. That's the harsh reality.

It is really frusterating when you get one who seems to make you feel like you're a thorn in their side, just being there. Hang in there because you may get an excellent one next time!!!!! Just like anything, there are good ones & bad ones. It always encourages me to remember that so that I can make sure never to be like that one day!!

It is really frusterating when you get one who seems to make you feel like you're a thorn in their side, just being there. Hang in there because you may get an excellent one next time!!!!! Just like anything, there are good ones & bad ones. It always encourages me to remember that so that I can make sure never to be like that one day!!;)

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
It is really frusterating when you get one who seems to make you feel like you're a thorn in their side, just being there.
No other person can make you feel unwanted, like you're a thorn in his/her side, unless you allow them to.

Down here, I dont' consider myself a "guest" when I'm on clinical, given that we actually PAY quite a large amount to the insititution daily (comes out of our fees) to be in said insitutition.

Strangely, I've never had any problems with nurses while on clinical, and I'm on my last clinical before electives. Mind you, the Care givers I've been stuck around have been really nasty, but I only had to put up with them in first year.

But of my companions who have RN problems they've told lecturers and usually get a quick change - that's what your lecturers are there for, if they're not, or they blow you off, complain above their heads, you pay good money for your education, you have every damn right to a decent one where you're not getting fobbed off.

What do you do if there's only a certain # of pt's to go around and you're STUCK with that knobby nurse? Find out what her hobbies and interests are and put the carrot before the horse. Sure it's manipulative, but it's a survival strategy that has worked for me many times.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiac, ICU.

This nurse may have done you a favor...she just groomed to to deal with the nurses you may work with in the future who on most days don't even want CO WORKERS in the building with them.

They do of course quickly change their mind when there is a CODE BROWN, then it's like "Can you help me out in room 101?" There is even a please involved.

People are what they are, don't let one person who was skipped over when they were handing out the "be polite anyway" gene make you quit.

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