Managing Life Outside of School

Managing life outside of school can be a balancing act. As students we strive to achieve good grades and course objectives inside the classroom, while also attempting to care for the other areas of our life such as relationships, family, work, and home life. This article discusses the different ways to handle these many roles. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

I am about to enter the 1st semester of an ADN program and I'm curious how others with families manage home life. I'm married with 4 children, a 13 y.o. son, a 9 y.o. son, a 5 y.o. daughter and a 1 y.o. daughter. My husband is self-employed and runs a small manufacturing business in the converted barn on our property. (So he's physically close by, most of the time.)

We live in a small farmhouse, that we love, but where nothing is level and something always needs to be fixed. I have been a stay at home mom for most of my children's lives. I currently am fortunate to be able to concentrate solely on school and family. I love school and enjoy learning, always have, and get a kick out of doing something finally that I've always wanted to do.

My question is: How do you keep up with your families and their needs and your home during the nursing program?

I have to clean everyday to keep up with all of us and there is laundry, dishes, dinner, grocery shopping, bath times and bedtime stories, football practice and dance class, teachers conferences and kids homework. (And a million other things, right?)

I have a supportive husband who does a lot with the kids, especially their extracurricular activities, and he likes cooking dinner. He's enormously busy with his business, although it does slow down some from November through February/March. But there is still a lot going on and basically I'm really the only one doing the assorted cleaning and keeping up with the constant clutter (and who cares if it gets done, by the way) and it's draining at times.

I've got my syllabus and course guide for the 1st semester and I am now truly aware of what I'm going to need to do to be successful over the next 2 years. I am just wondering how our not-so-little-family is going to survive this!

I also have managed studying and doing my schoolwork at a table in the den of our house, but it's right smack in the middle of everyone and there isn't truly a way to avoid the constant interruptions. (Which sucks when your rhythm is broken in the middle of a paper or learning a difficult microbiology concept, for instance.)

Sometimes I would wait until everyone went to bed but then I'm only good for a couple hours, at most, before I'm falling asleep at my desk. I also would occasionally get up at 5am and work for a few hours before everyone is up but I truly do not operate well without enough sleep. (who does, right?) Our small house doesn't give me many options for a study space, which sucks. And we live in a rural area that is about a half-hour from school, so there aren't a lot of places I could go for several hours at a time to study.

I guess I'm just trying to sort through this all in my head and comparing it to life during pre-reqs and we had some tough times here and there, but it wasn't ever too bad. I got the laundry done, made it to the football games and dance class, we had a homemade meal more often than not, even if it wasn't fancy. The house wasn't a complete disaster and it didn't feel like hubby and I were fighting more than usual, LOL!

I have a 3.8 GPA, and school has come easily to me so far. I was a supplemental instructor for A&P I and A&P II, I am the VP of our school's Health Professions Club, and I enjoy doing something I'm good at, who doesn't?! I think I'm in for a big shock when the nursing program begins because I've heard so often how much more difficult it is, how formerly 'A' student's grades drop and how differently you need to approach the material. (Critical thinking, application of knowledge, analysis and synthesis of material, etc.)

I guess mainly I'm worried that all these balls I have in the air are going to come crashing down. I know that I have an expectation for myself to continue to succeed in school, but is it going to come at a cost?

:) Don't wait. This advice isn't merely for people in nursing school. I promise you that anything you can do now to stave off hassles in adolescence later is worth its weight in gold.

My son and his wife have taught their two-year-old that after meals we "clean up," which in her case means picking up the food bits on the floor, putting them in the trash, and carrying her own (unbreakable) dishes to the sink. We do this at grandma's house too.

Starting this with my 5 yr old TODAY!

Specializes in peds, geriatrics, geri-psych.

I am a mother of four who is about to begin my second year of an ADN program. I too, find it difficult to study in quiet areas, I am so accustomed to the chaos and noise.

My first piece of advice is not to fret about getting A's. I used to be a straight A student, and now I am happy with a C. I find that it has helped my self-esteem and motivation not to be discouraged about that. I'm not saying that you should aim for a C, but don't be hard on yourself about it.

Having a sturdy 3-inch binder has also been very helpful for me. I don't know how your program is laid out, but I find it very beneficial to have all my powerpoints, handouts, notes and study guides for each unit grouped together separately. It makes me much easier to find what you need when studying for unit exams.

Studying has been my biggest challenge. I am someone who never really had to study. That all changed for me in nursing school. I have tried many different tactics, and the one I find most successful is NOT cramming at the last minute. Study in small increments every day, not all at once. Having a supportive study group is also important for me. We don't necessarily have formal sessions, but we do bounce things off of each other on the ride in or during clinical, and we are in constant contact on the phone and computer. Getting someone else's take on something is sometimes all you need to see what you may have been missing. I also try to fit in NCLEX style questions that pertain to the unit I am studying for. It helps me learn how to read the exam questions better, and figure out what they are really asking for.

Being organized is key. With 4 kids, I find I have a lot of difficulty with that. There's my stuff, then there is the stuff for the four of them. White-boards are fantastic to let everyone in the house know what the week looks like, activity and work-wise. Google calender is also a great app and will send you reminders. My problem is remembering to input stuff into the calender in the first place.

A previous poster mentioned having the kids pitch in with age-appropriate chores, and I am 100% in agreement with that statement. Kids need to learn life skills anyway, and having less on your own plate can't hurt. With that being said, you have to be willing to let them do the chores, and realize that they won't be doing them the same way you would. Having a supportive spouse is also huge. I have so much admiration for single moms who are pursuing an education in any field, but especially nursing. Nursing school is a substantial time commitment, not to mention energy draining. I am extremely fortunate to have an awesome husband. He is not the father of my children, but you would never know unless I told you. He is also in school for computers. But, he makes a point to be there for events, drives the kids to appointments I can't make and events I can't attend, practices and games. Not to mention that he is a fantastic cook. (evidenced by the 30 lbs. I've gained since I met him ;) )

Last, but not least..friends. A social life of some sort. It can be a life-saver. I have one really close friend that I make a point to hang out with at least once a week. It helps me decompress, and I really miss her anyway. I feel like I never see her anymore. Also, my nursing school BFF's are great. We hang out regularly. We start out with studying, but eventually we end up just talking, eating, and enjoying each others company. You absolutely have to make some time for yourself to have a little fun and forget about the rigors of nursing school every so often. It will benefit your outlook on life.

Specializes in Hospice + Palliative.

Another nursing school mama to 4 kids (mine are boys, aged 14, 12, 9 and almost-7). They're all inlots of sports, etc etc. I am the mom who sits in the corner of the bleachers with her textbook and notecards everywhere, lol! Things I've found most helpful:

- google calendar for each person in the family, and one for just my school stuff. Each of the older three has access to their calendar (as well as my hubby) so they can add appointments, important games, etc, and then I see them all aggregated on my one "master" in my smartphone app. This is a LIFESAVER!

- once a month blitz cooking: one sunday a month, I'll spend several hours in the kitchen prepping meals to feed the freezer, so that on hectic days either I or one of the older kids can just pop it in the oven/microwave and instant dinner! (things like casseroles, soups, stews, meatballs, burritos, pasta bakes, etc)

- scheduling study sessions in one of the quiet study rooms on campus after class in the week before exams - since I'm already on campus it's easier to manage, and doesn't require arranging more childcare (just for whomever is with the youngest to stay longer)

- planning family evenings where I completely focus on family time - board games, movie night, etc. Fun stuff that helps us reconnect and enjoy each other

- setting up carpools for sporting practices/games. I don't attend every one of all the boys' events. Even if I weren't in school, I wouldn't be able to because often their games overlap. Plus; DH and I feel strongly that our kids aren't doing sports for *our* entertainment, they do it because they love the sport(s) and truly enjoy play ing - they play for themselves, not for us. Of course, I enjoy watching them play, but I don't feel the need to attend every practice/game, and I've had my kids say several times that they appreciate that we're not crazy overbearing sports parents like you see so often on the sidelines. I thinkus being encouraging but not overbearing enables them to take ownership for themselves.

- age-appropraite chores and responsibilities. All but the youngest pack their own lunch, oldest two do their own laundry and clean their shared bathroom. I do not micromanage their lives - they are resposible for making sure homework gets done, chores get done, and they've got the appropriate gear with them when they head out for practices - I am not a maid, nor am I a personal assistant ;)

- friends! I've got a whole tribe of people who help me when it's crunch time. From carpooling, to bringing us takeout during finals, to picking up my sick kid when I'm stuck in clinical and can't leave, etc. It truly does take a village!!!!

I'm a great believer in having kids do more around the house. A four year old can set the table, and this leads the way to participating in the household at a higher level when s/he grows.

A six-year-old can throw laundry in the machine, add premeasured soap packets, and push the start button, then throw the wet things in the dryer and push the button. The advantage to that is that as they get older, there is no fuss over, "I don't have anything clean to wear!" because the answer is (and you will only have to say it once), "And whose fault is that?" It might be a little late for the 13-yr-old, but now is the time to say she takes complete responsibility for her own clothing; teach her how to iron a shirt and how to load a washer if she doesn't know already.

An eight-year-old can form hamburger patties and fry them, and put a package of frozen peas in the microwave, and pour the milk. Mine made their own sandwiches for school from first grade onward.

All of this while they see their mom working hard for school and doing a lot around the house too. Builds a foundation for a strong family when everyone works together to accomplish a goal.

Times a million!!

I have an 8 and 7yr old and they both have chores. They help do dishes, sort and fold laundry, vacuum, take care of the dog, help their dad in the yard, etc etc etc. If it doesn't require a lot of elbow grease or precision, they can do it! It helps me keep the house tidy and it helps teach them to become functioning members of society. What woman wants to marry a man who can't load a dishwasher or clean his own underwear? I'm training up men that I can be proud of. :)