Quote from Danianne
I am so frustrated.....My husband and I just moved in march 750KM away from all of our family/friends for his job, so I continue to work as a CNA while waiting to get accepted by a private college, Iget accepted and start school in Sept, THEN last week he decides that we can't make it here financially and quits his "GOOD" job with benefits so we can move back home, I start looking for a job right away and he sits on his duff watching Stargate, I ask him what he will do when we go back home and he basically say "I dunno" go back to school for a trade :angryfire I am burnt out working full-time as a CNA being a mom to a 2& 4 yr old and school and then he does this. My son was a preemie and is still quite medically fragile and I had MAJOR health problems after he was born I am sooooo stressed out I can't sleep. (rant over)
Geez Sweetie! You are young and already have a full plate! Of course, no one can give you intimate marital advice. HOWEVER some basics to think about.
1) What do YOU want out of this marriage. Maybe the time isn't right to go back to school. I understand your frustration to a degree. It took 5 tries till I could get to nursing school because my husband's company kept moving him.
Is he going to watch the kids while you work? Are there family members back home who can watch the kids for you? Could your husband be clinically depressed?
2) If you are going to move home, then you come up with the next plan since he dosen't seem to have one and you at least have portions of a plan thought through, ie going to school. Then tell him he is free to add ideas but that he cannot float around directionless and drag you down with him . And no, new 'money makin schemes are not an option. He (and you) have a family to think about. He will have lots of time to scheme after the divorce is final-just kidding.
You need to stress to him that your family needs a long term workable plan.
3) Apply for one good term credit card in your name only! You are the one with the job afterall. You need to bulid credit in YOUR NAME in case you one day find your self alone.
4) Cut up his cards. Or freeze them in blocks of ice. I've heard that works to. Only use your card for necessities. I would consider not telling him about your card. Ditto the previous post about getting him off the bank account, or at least, open one with your name only and your paycheck goes into that.
5) Consider that everything happen for a reason and maybe it is not a good time to go to school. Maybe the move home will work out for the better. But nursing school is REALLY hard and you already have your plate full. Maybe you should reapply for next Sept and use this year to lay a foundation.
6) Time is on your side . I understand that life is frustrating right now and that you don't want to be a CNA forever and you won't be. You obviously have drive and determination. Heck, if I got dressed at your age and out of bed on time, I was ahead of the game. I'm 44 now, and have 2 degrees and alot of life experience. Take one thing at a time. I'll include you in my prayers.