How do you do it parents?

allnurses Guide · Nov 3, 2005

I waited until my youngest was in first grade so I wouldn't be gone when they were home and I wouldn't have to use day care.

My schedule had me home by 3-ish in the afternoon so I could pick them up from school (or my mom could) and spend time with them and cook dinner and tuck them in, etc. I studied at school - too hard to do at home and I did have free hours during the day to head to the library. Besides, I usually would fall asleep if I tried to read my med/surg book at home.

My kids are now 22, 20 and 16 and my husband and I had a baby in our 40's who is now 4 . . . . time flies faster than you think - I see that every time I see my oldest holding my youngest. Seems like my oldest was just a toddler . .. . .

Best wishes - steph

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

Thanks ya'll, this is very good advice.

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

I'm also a single mother of two kids, 6 & 9, with my closest relative living
2 & 1/2 hours away. I'm half-way through my second term in a BSN program and me and the kids are handling things fine. It hasn't always been easy and I think that I'm running on empty most of the time but I've made it this far so I know I can finish. The hardest thing about having kids while going to nursing school is that you can't tailor your school schedule around your kids' schedule anymore. I'm given my class and clinicals schedule and I have to figure out how to work around it. Thank God, my kids are flexible and resiliant! They have adjusted to getting up at 5am a few days a week and have stopped asking "why is it dark, mommy?" when I drop them off at day care (it broke my heart the first couple of times). The key is to have a schedule for your family but to also be flexible. Utilize the time your kids are sleeping and your breaks between classes at school as much as you can to study because when your kids are home they need your time and attention. Hang in there, it will be done before you know it. It always helps me to think of the great example I'm setting for my kids. When they grow up they'll know that they can accomplish anything if they set their minds to it, because their mommy did!

Are you working or living on loans as they say. I think I will have to do the latter.

txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

If I can do it with 5 kids ages 15,12,5,4,3 and work full time plus school full time (1.25 hr one way) you can too... Set your mind straight and get it done. I never think of this as an opportunity for me but for my kids to have better opportunities... It keeps me going .. Well thats my motivational speech for the day.....There is always a way.. good luck to you!!!!

Race Mom, ASN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

Here's my take on your schedule. You must lose some of your sleep time. You don't have much time scheduled with your kids. I know they need to go to bed quite early, but I think more time needs to be given to them. I don't know how it feels, cause I have dh and mil here. They have been a tremendous support, but that still doesn't keep me away from time with them. Most of your studying could be done after they go to bed. Even if it means you only get 5-6 hrs of sleep. You will be able to sleep more on the weekends. We should have to sacrifice more than they should. I don't know how you single parents do it, but my hats off to you!

Woogy

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

Here's my take on your schedule. You must lose some of your sleep time. You don't have much time scheduled with your kids. I know they need to go to bed quite early, but I think more time needs to be given to them. I don't know how it feels, cause I have dh and mil here. They have been a tremendous support, but that still doesn't keep me away from time with them. Most of your studying could be done after they go to bed. Even if it means you only get 5-6 hrs of sleep. You will be able to sleep more on the weekends. We should have to sacrifice more than they should. I don't know how you single parents do it, but my hats off to you!
Woogy

I hear you on the sleep time, but I get quite ill, both physically and as far as my attitude when

I don't get enough sleep I can sleep through 3 alarms going off and if I just sit and daydream about getting in the bed or taking a nap. I guess I could learn to take naps, but they seem to just make me more sleepy. As far as my kids going to bed so early, that would only be on days I have to be in class at 7:50 am and I think I only have on day like that. My daughter's school doesn't start until 8:15 I think so they could go to bed later on those days and I spend more time with them. I know I can do this.I just like getting advice.

It will all work out.

Race Mom, ASN, RN · Nov 3, 2005

It will all come together, some how. It may take a few weeks to find out how your schedule needs to be done. You will do just fine, and before you know it, you'll be a nurse! Sorry to hear about your sleep problem! Naps make me more tired too, but dh can take a 15 min nap and wake up like he slept all night! Drives me nuts!

Woogy

mstigerlily · Nov 3, 2005

I could have never done it without my husband's flexible schedule and my retired loving mom a mere five minutes away. NEVER! I know others do it, so kudos to you!

If leaving them with grandma and you visiting when you are relaxed and have time (and phone calls, etc) gives them more stability in their lives, you might consider it (you can talk to them about it, 5 yrs old especially is old enough to discuss things with).

Melissa

Any tips for getting through nursing school with no support system (at least in body) to get through school? I will be going into school with two children age 5 and 3 with no husband, no grandma, and no auntie. I do have the option to leave one of my children with my mother at least for the first semester while things are the roughest, but I find this thought terribly depressing, so I'm not doing that. I have a schedule planned like this.
5:00 am get up
6:00 am have kids at daycare
7:00 am either be in lab or class or start studying
5:20 pm I will be out of my last class and it doesn't last
this long everyday; on Tuesdays I have no class, skills lab, or practicum
to attend, so this is all day study day, Tuesday would also be laundry day.
6:00 pm pick up kids
6:30-7:00 eat dinner and spend time with kids possible homework for my daughter( a kindergartener)
7:30 bedtime for kids
7:30-8:00 clean, cook next days meal, make lunches,etc.
8:00-9:00 study and review
9:00-915 shower
9:30 bedtime for me
On Saturday, I was planning to hire a sitter to watch my kids for a while and that's only if I can't get them to settle down. ( I don't think I will have that problem though). I was also going to set aside an hour to take them to the park and another hour to go grocery shopping with them( they like that).
At home, I'd study some more or go to the library with them.
On Sunday, we would attend church(thanking God for getting us through the week and then eat out at a restaurant and then head home to wind down and yes, I'd study some more.
I know I've left out something (like breathing) and it's a bit scrambled, but is this doable? I mean am I expecting to much by just spending that Sunday morning and Saturday afternoon with my kids? I have to spend time with them even though my going to school will benefit them, I can't neglect them.
What do you think?

StuNurseUP · Nov 3, 2005

I have a 10 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. I feel your pain. My biggest problem is having the time and sanity to get all the things done that need done. I cleaned all knick nacks and toys the kids don't play with much, out of my house (makes cleaning easier). I also make double dinners on the weekends and freeze them to save on cook and clean up time. I don't know if you can manage it but take 30 min a day to be alone and excersise, it really helps clear your mind and make you feel better. Good luck and God bless!

twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN · Nov 3, 2005

OH now, it can be done. First off, start your kids on the schedule and yourself on the schedule for waking and sleeping now if you arn't already. Getting them to sleep at 7:30 when they are used to 8:30 or later is difficult for a week or two at least (well for me it is, one 5 year old and 3 1/2 year old twins).

Some days I have clinical at very early hours, 7am. So I have to wake up at 4:30, kids up at 5 and everyone out the door at 6:20. And that is having everything done at the end of the day before.

What I think I could say is that you truly don't know what will pop up from now till then. I don't want you to get your head all wrapped up in a set schedule yet and then get dissappointed when you have to change it or something doesn't get done on time. You do have a good start though hunny.

The biggest thing about making it with kids is not letting the negative people get to you. Get your sleep. Eat properly. And know you will make it!