What is the dumbest order you ever read?

[SherRN]

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold for one hour." I am LMAO as I am thinking "OK where am I going to find a cork.:roll :chuckle

[SmilingBluEyes]

Not quite the same thing but when I had emergency surgery in Sept, an IV infiltrated in my antecubital space of my Left arm. ouch, yea anyway, so, I had them change it. Meantime, the site got quite red and irritated (surprise). So I asked for a cool pack or ice pack for it. RN says to me and says "sorry I will have to call the Resident for an order....we can't use cool/heat w/o it" Well after waiting 2 or 3 hours, I asked a visitor/friend of mine (also an RN), to go get me a cup of ice and a wash cloth and just did it myself. UGHHHHHHHHH--- nurses cannot assess and think for themselves at that place I guess. And to think, I once wanted to work at that hospital. Not anymore....that a BSN/RN could not even do such a simple task w/o orders made me think I could not handle their lack of autonomy there.

[ratchit]

On a DKA patient who had rec'd 70 units of nph then had to have his tube feeds shut off unexpectedly:

Check fingerstick glucose Q2 and if he looks funny.

Duh.

At least it was a telephone order- I found a way to make it look nicer in the chart. :)

[Nurse Ratched, RN]

Originally posted by deespoohbear

Place fan in pt's room.

Got this order on a patient on suicide precautions who was also a cutter (self-mutilator.) One of the newer medical docs who wasn't used to psych and just thought he was treating her respiratory stuff lol. We just ignored that one.....

Edited to add: any order for preparation H on a walkie talkie that adds "pt may self-apply." No kidding, Sherlock? I sure as heck wasn't gonna do it .

And finally, on the discharge instructions for a man who had just been detoxed: "No alcohol."

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

We admitted a transvestite in full dress.

Doctor's order read:

Private room, this patient is not a woman, this is a man. This patient's husband is a woman, and he may shower.

The same doctor dictated a discharge summary:

This is a 700 year old black lady, her skin is lighter than black and is white. She had surgery and is fine. Transfer to ECF.

[Zee_RN, BSN, RN]

Same cardiologist (different patients):

Baked potato P.O. QD with evening meal

Milkshake P.O. q.h.s. - nursing to prepare (YEAH, RIGHT!)

Pepsi 1 can P.O. QID with meals

(He's not a very good cardiologist but he makes an excellent food director.)

Fluid resuscitation orders in a patient who had lost peripheral iv access and whose BP was rapidly dropping (who BADLY needed a central line): 500 cc H2O via NG stat. Oh yeah baby that's gonna fix him. GET HIM A CENTRAL LINE, STUPID. (resident's order).

[deespoohbear]

Originally posted by P_RN

We admitted a transvestite in full dress.

Doctor's order read:

Private room, this patient is not a woman, this is a man. This patient's husband is a woman, and he may shower.

:confused:

Lost me!

[pattyjo, MSN, RN]

Cogentin 150 mg. bid. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

[emily_mom]

Originally posted by deespoohbear

Have you ever dealt with an Amish family? Some of them have 15 kids and they do all show up at once to visit! Of course with all the grandchildren. There have been obits in are local paper that says the deceased have 140 something grandchildren!! 15 children, I would have to be locked up permanently. (Or my husband would be ).

I live in Amish and Mennonite country, so I see this a lot. We've only had Mennonites come in for high risk pregnancy, never the Amish. I love how they will speak English to you and as soon as you turn to walk out, the Pennsylvania Dutch comes out. Makes you wonder what the heck they're saying. They are very private people. All the husbands I have dealt with left during checks and during the birth. Haven't seen a lot of support.

Kristy

[NICUNURSE]

I want to play... I work in an NICU and we get new residents all the time. So one of our newbies (consequently the one with the biggest chip on her shoulder...) orders:

1 unit PRBC's AFAP

Okay, first of all, we don't give neonates 1 unit of ANYTHING. Second, what the heck is AFAP? Did I miss the day that we learned that abreviation in nursing school? So when I questioned her, she tell's me it means, "As fast as possible." Scary...

[kahann]

Thought the MD that wrote this one was suffering from a little insomnia:

MOM 30ccs po,prn INSOMNIA

Thought maybe we had found the lost cure for the lack of sleep that haunts us 3rd shifters! :roll

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Banana STAT for hypokalemia. (K of 3.3)

[MollyMo]

Ambulate in hall qid. (The patient was bilateral AKA):stone