What is the dumbest order you ever read? - page 2

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold ... Read More

  1. by   ratchit
    On a DKA patient who had rec'd 70 units of nph then had to have his tube feeds shut off unexpectedly:

    Check fingerstick glucose Q2 and if he looks funny.


    At least it was a telephone order- I found a way to make it look nicer in the chart.
  2. by   Nurse Ratched
    Originally posted by deespoohbear
    Place fan in pt's room.
    Got this order on a patient on suicide precautions who was also a cutter (self-mutilator.) One of the newer medical docs who wasn't used to psych and just thought he was treating her respiratory stuff lol. We just ignored that one.....

    Edited to add: any order for preparation H on a walkie talkie that adds "pt may self-apply." No kidding, Sherlock? I sure as heck wasn't gonna do it .

    And finally, on the discharge instructions for a man who had just been detoxed: "No alcohol."
    Last edit by Nurse Ratched on Nov 28, '02
  3. by   P_RN
    We admitted a transvestite in full dress.
    Doctor's order read:

    Private room, this patient is not a woman, this is a man. This patient's husband is a woman, and he may shower.

    The same doctor dictated a discharge summary:

    This is a 700 year old black lady, her skin is lighter than black and is white. She had surgery and is fine. Transfer to ECF.
  4. by   Zee_RN
    Same cardiologist (different patients):

    Baked potato P.O. QD with evening meal

    Milkshake P.O. q.h.s. - nursing to prepare (YEAH, RIGHT!)

    Pepsi 1 can P.O. QID with meals

    (He's not a very good cardiologist but he makes an excellent food director.)

    Fluid resuscitation orders in a patient who had lost peripheral iv access and whose BP was rapidly dropping (who BADLY needed a central line): 500 cc H2O via NG stat. Oh yeah baby that's gonna fix him. GET HIM A CENTRAL LINE, STUPID. (resident's order).
  5. by   deespoohbear
    Originally posted by P_RN
    We admitted a transvestite in full dress.
    Doctor's order read:

    Private room, this patient is not a woman, this is a man. This patient's husband is a woman, and he may shower.

    Lost me!
  6. by   pattyjo
    Cogentin 150 mg. bid. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
  7. by   emily_mom
    Originally posted by deespoohbear
    Have you ever dealt with an Amish family? Some of them have 15 kids and they do all show up at once to visit! Of course with all the grandchildren. There have been obits in are local paper that says the deceased have 140 something grandchildren!! 15 children, I would have to be locked up permanently. (Or my husband would be ).
    I live in Amish and Mennonite country, so I see this a lot. We've only had Mennonites come in for high risk pregnancy, never the Amish. I love how they will speak English to you and as soon as you turn to walk out, the Pennsylvania Dutch comes out. Makes you wonder what the heck they're saying. They are very private people. All the husbands I have dealt with left during checks and during the birth. Haven't seen a lot of support.

  8. by   NICUNURSE
    I want to play... I work in an NICU and we get new residents all the time. So one of our newbies (consequently the one with the biggest chip on her shoulder...) orders:

    1 unit PRBC's AFAP

    Okay, first of all, we don't give neonates 1 unit of ANYTHING. Second, what the heck is AFAP? Did I miss the day that we learned that abreviation in nursing school? So when I questioned her, she tell's me it means, "As fast as possible." Scary...
  9. by   kahann
    Thought the MD that wrote this one was suffering from a little insomnia:

    MOM 30ccs po,prn INSOMNIA

    Thought maybe we had found the lost cure for the lack of sleep that haunts us 3rd shifters! :roll
  10. by   canoehead
    Banana STAT for hypokalemia. (K of 3.3)
  11. by   MollyMo
    Ambulate in hall qid. (The patient was bilateral AKA):stone
  12. by   Audreyfay
    My least favorite was aimed at me, 26 years ago when I was a GN: Please instruct Ms. Johnson on obtaining a stool hemoccult.

    We had orders for occult bloods on stools for a particular patient. When I got into the room, the pt. had already flushed. I charted the pt. had a BM, but did not document that he did not save the stool.
    So, I guess I took a hit. Funny how quickly we learn when it is traumatic learning.
  13. by   swiftflyer
    for pt rash - provalone cheese bid
    what the heck?
    turned out to be provon cream bid
    Doc musta been hungry.....