What is the dumbest order you ever read?

JaredCNA, CNA · Nov 5, 2007

I worked nights in the ICU and came home and tried to sleep - the room was totally dark and I felt like I was in a cave - I got really disoriented and it took my hubbie several mins to get me straight when he came home - so I moved to another room and the guy across the street had to rake his leaves - every day - all day long - and he had to rake the SIDEWALK (you may guess I now live where there are NO sidewalks). But I want you to tell the truth Jared- you're really a vampire aren't you?

I supposed not...3rd shift Phlebs are the true vampires, that's the silly joke we've always had anyway. For the longest time they'd play along with it and wear black scrub tops and pants.

See how bad we need entertainment at night?

buggal1989 · Nov 5, 2007

Worked with a doc (community health/family practice) who referred a female pt of his to the optometrist for her yearly mammogram. I razzed him about that for a long time.

You think THAT'S dumb???? I had our Orthopedic doctor bring his kids to the hospital to visit a friend - and then he left - WITHOUT them. This doc was ALWAYS leaving his coat, his stethoscope, etc in the ER. I mean like he'd practically strip off naked (NOT really, darn!) and I would page him - "You left your coat, etc in the ER." and this time I got to page him and ask him if he had left something at the hospital and he told me he was wearing his coat and had all his stuff and then I got to tell him "What do you want us to do with your children?" He got ribbed about that until I had to leave because hubbie had a National Guard training fulfillment to do. :uhoh3:

VandyNurse714 · Nov 7, 2007

I've had orders on two different occasions for a UA on an anuric patient...that req just sits in the chart for days, getting all wrinkled.

The craziest order I saw was in the ED order summary that came up with my male patient...it was for a pregnancy test.

I was later told that this was just part of the standard orders that the docs in the ED always order, but it still struck me as hilarious.

"Excuse me, sir, I'll need you to give me a urine sample for your pregnancy test now. Doctor's orders, ha ha ha."

TrudyRN · Nov 8, 2007

i had an order for q 1 hour arterial blood gases on a dnar patient. she had an intraaortic balloon pump, but her radial art line had fallen out days ago. since our policy forbade using the aortic line on the iabp for blood draws, that meant we had to stick her for abgs. since the lady was a "no code" and still somewhat awake, none of us wanted to stick her for blood gases. so when i arrived on shift at 3pm, i called to clarify those orders.

i hope this happened in july and that by august or september this menace to the living was retrained.

TrudyRN · Nov 8, 2007

i had an order for q 1 hour arterial blood gases on a dnar patient. she had an intraaortic balloon pump, but her radial art line had fallen out days ago. since our policy forbade using the aortic line on the iabp for blood draws, that meant we had to stick her for abgs. since the lady was a "no code" and still somewhat awake, none of us wanted to stick her for blood gases. so when i arrived on shift at 3pm, i called to clarify those orders.

i would have called the attending and the n. sup before torturing my patient. this guy was truly mental.

TrudyRN · Nov 8, 2007

i've seen a few dumb orders in the past 30 years.
"flower care q 24 h." (he wanted us to water the patient's flowers.)
"mom 30 cc im." (sadly, a student nurse actually gave that one.)
"bathe patient before intern sees." (common in our inner city hospital)
"bathe patient before attending sees." (common in our rural hospital.)
"do not call me for anything unless the patient dies." (no, it wasn't a dnar patient.)
"only attractive nurses to care for this patient." (patient was a vip)
"only ugly nurses to care for this patient." (patient was notoriously inappropriate with female staff.)
"do not wake me up for dumb stuff." (i could almost sympathize -- the nurse was a new grad and wasn't the brightest bulb by any means. but still, this is a legal document!)

who got to define dumb, ugly, attractive? were there any volunteers for the ugly segment? what happened with the mom im? poor stu., patient, everybody.

Semele · Nov 9, 2007

I was working on the peds floor and the mother of our charge nurse was admitted to our floor because we had room. Her doc wrote for her to be rocked and burped frequently. I read it like three times and still didn't understand he was trying to be funny about her being on the kids floor until the charge nurse told me.

prmenrs, RN · Nov 9, 2007

I wonder what would've happened if you DID try to rock and burp her?

Christie RN2006 · Nov 9, 2007

One of the docs on the admission orders for one of our vented and sedated patients wrote "pt to ambulate in hallway TID" um ok doc I will get right on that one...Do you want me to turn off the sedation first or just try to get them to sleepwalk and drag the vent with us down the hallway?

NONRS2B · Nov 12, 2007

What Is The Other Word Used For An Amputee's Stump?

Nurse Lulu · Nov 12, 2007

Nursing not to answer any questions for pt family (ICU) all questions to be directed to DR. x Okay it is 3:30 would you like me to call you at home or on your pager?????

elizabells, BSN, RN · Nov 12, 2007

Nursing not to answer any questions for pt family (ICU) all questions to be directed to DR. x Okay it is 3:30 would you like me to call you at home or on your pager?????

Any questions? Oh, I'd have so much fun with this. My favorite way to get back at someone who treats you as if you are stupid is to get really, really stupid. Pt's fam wants to know where the bathroom is? Where's the best place to grab a cup of coffee when the cafeteria is closed? Can they have a tissue/glass of water/bedpan? If there's a rise in inflection at the end, it's a question. Oh dooooooctooooooor...