Topic: Venting in Private?

  1. It's been awhile since I've been on, just thought I would say Hi to everyone.
    I've been going through some tough times lately, and thought I would come in and say hello.
    Just a thought too....I know that we have ALL vented on occasion, and sometimes this is the only place that you can get someone to listen, or find someone that understands what you may be going through. Seems harmless enough, bad day at work, come home, vent online to your online friends, good way to get your feelings out, and before you know it, you've taken up a whole page, mostly because it feels good to get your feelings out, just by typing them on the keyboard. Vent about co-workers, pts, families, whatever the case may be. Using a Username, we don't really identify ourselves. But maybe someone looks at all of your posts, and puts the information together, that one time you say your from Missouri, then one time you say you have 3 kids, well you get the picture. Fellow co-workers could actually find a post on here, such as the one that I posted in September when I walked out of my job, they could copy it, and then take it to work with them, and share it with your old comrads, maybe even have a laugh about it. Your personal feelings, sharing them with your fellow nurses online that understand what you are going through, taken back to your previous place of employment to be viewed by all, refeuling a fire that should have been out so long ago.
    Oh it could happen, and it did, just recently. After not working at this place for 7 months, my original post, my venting, was recently copied and taken there for all to see.
    Sometimes when you vent, you don't even mean half of what you say, or later.............MAYBE 7 months later, your feelings have changed, your heart is not as hardened, you've gone through some really crappy times, especially since being unemployed for so long, and pounding the pavement for a job, just to be turned down time and time again, getting ready to lose your home, losing your heat in your house, going to food pantries and other places getting assistance just to stay alive, so different from the world you knew before. Maybe after someone has been through these things, maybe the stop holding grudges and just try to survive.
    It sickens me that anything I ever posted here has ended up there. It just sickens me. I know its a public board, I know complete strangers read what I post, but to be sought out, especially after so long, well it just makes no since to me. A fellow co-worker that I thought of as a friend, has been doing her math, put 2 and 2 together and came up with ME. Little ole me all the way out here in Cyber nursing world. Am I wrong to be so upset? Am I just venting? I guess I just don't like being the topic of their conversations, again. I hope that if your reading this, and you know who you are, that you feel ashamed of what you have done, and think before doing next time.
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    About Nursie30

    Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 264; Likes: 7


  3. by   VickyRN
    Thank you for the timely warning. May we all take heed. This is a public bb, with many 1000's of viewers. We never know who is out there lurking...
  4. by   bellehill
    Nursie30...sorry this has happened to you. It is a public forum but I know the main issue is that you were betrayed by a friend. It is so easy to feel safe on this board, I'm sorry that was taken away from you. Hope things look up for you soon, we are still here for you!
  5. by   RN-PA
    I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you, and I hope the person who did that to you WILL be ashamed. I've sometimes felt a little paranoid about things I've written here and wonder if a co-worker would recognize me. If they took the time to read all my posts, they could figure it out pretty easily. And so I'm hesitant to tell co-workers about allnurses because I would feel less free than I do now.

    Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you and hope you'll be able to put it behind you.
  6. by   ferfer
    So sorry this has happened to you. It is true, some of us come on here just to vent for a moments time. We all get angry or upset or irrational in the moment, when the next day we are truly fine. The person that did that had absolutely no right to do so! And yes, you have every right to be MAD!For a lot of us, this is a safe place because we do not personally know people, and we also assume that other nurses will understand and relate. We can receive support without being made to feel bad or weak, etc. I never thought of the possibility of this happening but I can see how it might. Guess we need to protect our personal information more carefully.

    I know I have said things on here that I do not regularly share with friends/family because I do not want to. And unfortunately it has made me think twice about doing so any further:angryfire

    The person that did this to you is absolutely out of line and must not have anything better to do in their OWN life. Good for you for bringing this issue up! I am interesed to hear what others have to say about it!
  7. by   movealong
    I too am very sorry to hear this.

    I have often wondered if anyone could tell who I was on this board. If they looked back at my posts, I'm pretty sure they might have a reasonable idea about who I was.

    But you know what? It's their problem. What kind of person would sort through a bunch of old posts, track you down, so to speak, print off your posts and take them in to be read by others? It sounds a little twisted to me.

    Again, sorry for your troubles......
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    And what kind of people would encourage the person who stole your posts and handed them around at work? Someone needs to stand up to that person and tell them they should be very ashamed of themselves. And to those who read your posts at work, shame on them too. :angryfire

    I'm sorry this happened to you.

  9. by   CappucinoMama
    nursie30, i am so sorry this happened to matter what was said by you, it takes a person with zero class to do this sort of thing - we should all be able to share on the forums w/o worry of someone trailing where you've been and using it against you...sending prayers that life will start looking up for you very soon.
    normally folks that do this have alot of sweeping behind their own back door to do..but for some reason seem to enjoy riding that broom rather than cleaning up their own act.
    take care.
  10. by   NursesRmofun
    [font=franklin gothic medium]too bad that happened. :uhoh21: thanks for the warning.
  11. by   mattsmom81
    Some people are just plain evil. Ya know, if someone did this to me I would have to surmise they did it for malicious purposes, which may be actionable in civil court. if you have proof, consider seeing a lawyer just to see what they say. If you can prove damages from this malicious act, you may have a case.

    Hugs to you and I'm so sorry. People can be just plain mean sometimes in the most unexpected ways.
  12. by   fiestynurse
    It really makes me sick when one nurse betrays another nurse. Yes, this nursing board is a public forum, but, there is a reason why we all have user names. The fact that someone would not respect that and would invade your privacy in the manner that they did is disgusting. Is there any way that you can contact your old manager and discuss this with her?

    Looking on the positive side, maybe it was important that they heard what you had to say and how you felt. I can bet you that there are others at your old work place who might have felt the same way.

    Hang in there and don't let the turkeys get you down.
  13. by   jnette
    So sorry for your pain. I, too, hate this happened to you. (((HUGS)))

    Guess I'll just continue doing my usual here.. I never write anything I wouldn't say to someone's face (or already have). Not that I have much to bytch about, anyway... but there could always be a time, I know. I make no attempt to hide my identity... if they don't like what I have to say, too bad.

    It's MY life, and MY opinion, and I'm entitled to both. They'd also have to search a LOT of posts (eh, like 5000 +) ... that's a lot of printer
    paper ! :chuckle

    But it is a disheartening situation for you, I'm sure, and I can see where you feel betrayed and angry. It's disappointing to say the least, and and a sad testamonial to the person who would do such a thing. Sux. Truly it does.

    But it wouldn't stop me from being me and expressing myself.... but then, ya gotta know me ! :imbar

    Hugs to you, and welcome back. :kiss
  14. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I had thought about that when i first signed up here. Marie's not actually my first name (it's half of a hyphenated first name). The majority of the time if i refer to a pt., i change the sex and the age. I also wait 2-3 weeks before i talk about a pt. i've run across.