Things you'd LOVE to tell the doc and get away with it.... - page 5

Since the patient version is so popular, and I had a bad weekend (and no hope for a better one this weekend....) You've been giving this schizophrenic Alzheimer's pt 10 mg Ambien, plus 50mg... Read More

  1. by   AOx1
    To the one resident who keeps bugging me- stop trying to look down my shirt. You act like you dropped something down there and are plotting out a search and rescue mission. I am married, and there is a reason I wear an undershirt. Go buy yourself a magazine instead. Also- don't let that J-wire flop about so much. You've contaminated so many central lines that I want to buy stock in the company.

    To my favorite cardiologist and pulmonologist- thank you so much for all you have taught me. Your patience with me the first two years I worked and asked a thousand questions, your willingness to always explain. Thanks for inviting me to be part of your research study- I learned to enjoy research when I never thought I could. Now that I am an experienced nurse, I appreciate that you always recognize we are on the same team.

    To the majority of the residents- you are great and will be good docs. I have really enjoyed getting to know most of you and your spouses on a social basis as well as professionally. You've restored my faith in a new generation of docs. Thanks for respecting the expertise of the nurses in the unit and asking instead of telling. To CM- I still remember the first time you had to pronounce a pt and talk to the family and I went with you. Your hands were shaking so much, but you did just fine!

    To a few of the med students- look up your own meds and treatments and stop asking the nurses. It is not in my scope of practice to plan and order medical treatment. Yes, I do know what should be done, but you won't learn if you keep asking us. And no, you can't write an order without your attending- hospital policy. And CVVHD is not "some kind of Roman numeral thing"- look it up
    Last edit by AOx1 on Jun 22, '09
  2. by   Jami RN
    The cardiac surgeons on the unit I supervise have made it very clear that they "are the captain of the ship" (yes, this is their own words) and they want to be notified of any changes in their patient.

    One of the nurses on my unit asked me whether she should call the surgeon about a change and to clarify an order. I advised her that even though we both knew what he would order, she should call him anyway.

    A few minutes later, the surgeon was calling me complaining about why the nurse was calling him about such a minor thing.

    I so badly wanted to give him that standard haughty surgeon answer... you know the one... wait... you've heard it before...

    "WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME WITH THIS, DOCTOR? DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO?"

    .... but I chickened out and missed my window. We all got a good laugh from the thought, though.
  3. by   FATKAT
    This made me laugh. We have all been in this situation with these thoughts at one time or another.
  4. by   kindaquazie
    Thank you for being such a caring, collaborative, respectful physician. It is a pleasure to work with you to achieve the most favorable outcomes for our patients and their families. I wish every healthcare environment were as good as this one....
  5. by   junebug50
    OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much, there for a while I thought I was the only one that felt that way. I would like to tell some of the hospitalist that work our hospital if they are not going to help the patient then why are they on call. We consistenly hear, Thats not my regular patient and I don't know him, you will have to call his regular doctor. Well its the weekend dumb a____ and you are the one on call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. by   catshowlady
    Yes I am calling you at oh-dark-thirty about your pt w/ uncontrolled pain. Yes I know she is a chronic pain pt, but she isn't taking as much here as she has prescribed at home. No, you didn't consult the back surgeon to "deal with this." You're her admitting doc, I don't have anyone else to call, so sorry, you are just going to have to deal with me at this hour.

    Now for a thank-you, instead of a vent, to the doctor who was on the case for my first terminal vent wean in ICU: Thank you for honoring your patient's wishes when she told you in the office that she wouldn't want to be kept on life support. Thank you for ordering enough morphine and ativan for me to keep her comfortable. Thank you for being there for the family. Thank you for doing the extubation yourself. I wish all of our doctors had the same understanding of palliative care. I hope someday, when it is my turn, that I have a doctor like you.
  7. by   ToxicShock
    Maybe I'm the only one, or inexperienced, or taking this thread too seriously, but...

    I don't understand why some of these things aren't said. Some of the comments I've read are completely legitimate and important things that should be - and could be - said in a professional and diplomatic manner.

    Doctors are people too, and if they're doing something wrong and/or being a bully, you have every right to tell them so, do you not? And if they've done something "right" and you feel they deserve a 'thank you', tell them that too. They'd probably appreciate a thank you, especially if they're a resident and feeling bullied, too.
  8. by   moosemadness
    How about: "when you ask me for a pen to use, even though there is one in the pen jar right in front of your face, don't just stick your hand out, stare at the order sheet and say 'pen!'. I'm NOT giving you my pen...... if you were to say 'do you have a pen i could borrow please', i would give you one. I don't let my kids or my husband talk to me like that, I'm sure as H*ll not going to let you........
    by the way, Planon (spelling??).... don't be a kill joy, this is a FUN thread....... Keep em coming girls.....
  9. by   hollymckenziern
    PLEASE take a few moments to sign the q24 hour restraint form (Yeah right-like they're really doing their own evaluation every day). Please remember to sign the med reconciliation form when transferring out patients. (I know I'll never get you to write out the med list yourself. Forget that. Just sign it?) And most of all-don't go home at the end of the day without going back to all your charts and co-signing the verbal and telephone orders. Nurses are the ones who are scolded and counseled when these aren't done. Thank you.
  10. by   debragan
    If you dont want me to call and wake you in the middle of the night, so that you can scream at me and call me an idiot for waking you, for god's sake don't d/c his ativan unless you want to sit up all night with him to stop him from pulling out his peg tube and or his foley!
  11. by   gracedRN
    Loving this!!

    "OK This is the NURSE'S Station! Don't walk in here and take my seat, my computer, and interrupt report because you DON'T belong here."

    "Yes, I'll be calling with critical values. Regardless of the time."

    "Do NOT tell me (over the phone) that pt is 'not allowed to leave AMA', then say you're 'NOT coming in to sign the EOD.' I'll pull out the AMA paper faster than you can pull your perfectly coiffed head out of your a@$!!"
  12. by   gracedRN
    "Put on your big boy panties and deal with it"
    ROFLMAO!!
  13. by   netglow
    GracedRN...

    I once witnessed a physician pistol-whipping where the nurse told him, "Your head is so far up your (rear), you better write new orders for yourself if you want me to help get it out!" -- I ran for cover so I could fully laugh MAO, when I finished and came back that nurse asked if I had been crying, and I said "you bet I was" and gave her a big thumbs up.

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