Pregnant after husbands vasectomy?How common? - page 2
Hi everybody. I will try to keep this as short as possible. My husband and I have 2 boys- 4 years and 8 months old. With our 8 month old I had some major problems PTL, shortening cervix etc. and then... Read More
Apr 11, '05Quote from dettwiller5Gosh, i'm sorry you are going through this. My husband had a vastectomy about 6 weeks ago. He has an appointment this week with his urologist. He said it takes 20-30 ejaculations and that my husband has to give 2 sperm free samples before we are given the green light.
This is what my husband's urologist said also.
Regarding getting pregnant and not intending to . .. . my husband and I got preggers with our last child when I was 43 and he was 47. Our youngest child at that time was 12, the next was 16 and the oldest was 18. Needless to say we had a mutual nervous breakdown. We were very upset, depressed and scared.
Kitty makes a good point - we look back at that time now and cannot believe that we were upset over having the wonderful little boy we have now.
I realize that where you are right now having everyone give you advice that you will end up ok is difficult. I had the same problem - it made me mad when people would tell me that this would end up being a blessing. But the truth is, it is a blessing. Just hang on . . .
Apr 11, '05Also, regarding your difficult pregnancy and labor - that was a concern for me too. I had three children without any pain relief, did the natural thing and hated labor pains.
I talked to my OB right away with my 4th and said I wanted an epidural
That was heaven.
Apr 11, '05I work with a nurse who just found out she is pregnant with baby #3. After the last one he had a vasectomy, and sperm count 3 months later was 0. 6 months later she is pregnant and the urologist insists that she must have been unfaithful. I believe her when she says she was not and so does her husband. She will probably have to have DNA testing after the birth just to prove to everyone that she is telling the truth!
So it does happen!
Apr 11, '05My last child was unplanned, too, (conceived after too many margaritas at a Christmas party!) but he is my favorite. I can't imagine life without him.
It seems like everyone I know who had an unplanned child, particularly later in life, (well, I was 31, but my daughters were already 7 and 5) echoes my sentiments!
I agree with stevielynn. Things will all work out for the best. Not to sound trite or corny, but this child truly is your miracle baby--as was stevielynn's. He or she may be destined for great things--count on it.Last edit by stevierae on Apr 11, '05
Apr 11, '05It's more common than you think. I know of a few who went through this. Take it one day at a time and hang in there. I hope you can work through this and be able to embrace the situation at some point, if that is what you choose to do. HUGE HUGS.
Apr 11, '05Just an FYI it can go both ways. I have cared for ladies in the ER that have had tubal ligations and yet the egg and little critters still found each other- ie intra abdominal ectopic pregnancy.
SO i can extrapolate that after a Vas it could be theroeticly possible for the sperm that still get produced to find their way past the break in the plumbing.
Also some Vasectomies are more secure than others ie did the doctor just cut and tie, did he cut, tie, burn or did he cut, tie, burn and remove a section of the vas. Also a key point our urologist made was that things need to get flushed out ie dont excpect to be sterile in 6 months if its the first time you have sex after the procedure. He wanted specimins after a certain number of ejaculations and then a month after that before he called it sucessful- then he made the point in his consent that even then its never ever 100%.
Apr 11, '05I don't want anyone to read this thread and think that vasectomy is a poor choice for permanent birth control. DH had one for our first anniversary (we are child free by choice) and it was the best gift I've ever gotten! He was sperm free by 8 weeks after 2 samples. We've been married 20 years and no scares. It is very effective.
The urologist did give him a choice of simple severing or cautery of the vas. DH chose cauterization, never wanting the option of reversal. I don't know if they still give men the option.
2 of our neighbors had children post vasectomy but they both admitted they didn't get an all clear before going without protection. Johnny Carson also had his last kid after vasectomy.
Apr 11, '05Ham, I am so sorry you have to go through this. and don't be sorry about not really being excited. I have witnessed first hand about unwanted pregs. I have a friend with two kids under the age of 4.5 she had her tubes tied after the delivery of the last. she just found out yesterday she is preggers again. she is scared to death. they can barely afford the 2 that they have and a third would be too much. they live in a tiny 2 bedroom house. 4 people overloads this house so 5 definetly would. She is like i didn't want anymore kids or i wouldn't have had my tubes tied. don't feel bad. this is what you are feeling and you know your own situation better than anyone.
Apr 11, '05Well, my husband and I went and saw my Dr. this morning. I am pregnant. I have an ultrasound tomorrow to see how far I am. After reading all your posts I really feel like a fool! I just can't belive that Urologist told me my pills weren't neccessary and we were "good to go" after only a week! He also told us that residual sperm was a wives tale.Even the nurse this morning told us she used to work for a surgeon and when he did them he would do the semen samples at 6 weeks and then if needed he would do them until they were no longer needed.
I just wish he wouldn't have told me it was ok to go off my pills. We are both kicking ourselves for not doing more research. We had No idea this could even happen. My sister and her boyfriend of 11 years are both very fertile people and he had it done with no troubles. They waited 2 weeks to have sex and that was it. No more babies for them. That was about 2-3 years ago. Have you ever just felt like a huge idiot? That is how I feel right now. I am 30 years old and my husband is 24. I am getting too old to have another baby!(no offense to anyone-that is just directed at myself)
Plus - I really thought something was wrong when I delivered my last baby because my hands and my face were numb and it was horrible pain. I thought I was going to die. Nothing like my first. Plus the fact that I was high-risk. It's all just too much too take. Thanks for all your kind words though. -Amy
Apr 11, '05Quote from KrisRNwannabeThat sounds exactly like us! Tiny house, already overcowded. Which makes for a very stressful life and baby #3 will probably give both my husband and I a mental breakdown! I know what she's feeling and I will be thinking of her! Thanks. -AmyHam, I am so sorry you have to go through this. and don't be sorry about not really being excited. I have witnessed first hand about unwanted pregs. I have a friend with two kids under the age of 4.5 she had her tubes tied after the delivery of the last. she just found out yesterday she is preggers again. she is scared to death. they can barely afford the 2 that they have and a third would be too much. they live in a tiny 2 bedroom house. 4 people overloads this house so 5 definetly would. She is like i didn't want anymore kids or i wouldn't have had my tubes tied. don't feel bad. this is what you are feeling and you know your own situation better than anyone.
Apr 11, '05Quote from ~Kitty~Well it's kind of long but, my husband and I have been together 5 years. Baby #1 came along 3 months after we started dating. (2 weeks after I moved in!) Basically, we never had time to really enjoy each other and just be "in love". I was in nursing school while PG and went right to work when I was done. Anyway, on top of being a high-risk pregnancy last year, we ran into some other major marital difficulties and almost got divorced. We worked things out and found that love that was always there again and things have been going so great until now.Can I ask what big dreams another baby will ruin? Usually once you already have children, you can slip another one in there without too much change.
We were just going to work on us and take a road trip(my husband just bought a new mustang last month) to see some relatives and let our boys stay with their grandparents. Maybe be a little selfish for once. We are both the type of people that always put everyone else first. But, we also do not have room for a third child. Our house is tiny and my boys share a room and their beds practically touch. I am not back to work either so money's an issue as well- was planning on going back after our great summer. Mentally I am not ready for a third child either. I knew that -that's why we took the precautions we did. We put all our trust in this guy and he turned out to be a quack! But I hope things work out for the best. -Amy