New grad needs your opinion! - page 2
Hi everybody, I am newly registered here, but have been reading the boards for awhile now. I enjoy the insight from all of you, and I'm hoping you can offer some on the matter I am about to... Read More
Dec 5, '01vac,
It is called the direct approach and standing up for yourself. No pen or paper needed. Some approaches are just more direct than others. It depends on the need, but if you really want respect from someone, then you have to face them directly or they will always feel that they can some how intimidate or own you.
Dec 6, '01betts-its not about fear. its about saving yourself a headache.
let me tell you about where i work.
i have been screamed at ON THE FLOOR by nurses and assistants. this behavior is absolutely unacceptable to me. i dont do that to anyone. if i wanted to be screamed at, i would have stayed with my first husband.
so of course i reported this to management. guess what happened--nothing.
this went on for a week or so and i knew that i had to do something-so i did what hoolihan suggested. i let them have it. behind closed doors of course. now guess what happened--I GOT WRITTEN UP. i explained my behavior in great detail. it didnt seem to matter.
in case you are wondering what i got screamed at for...
i didnt tell another nurse i was going to the other side of the unit to draw blood (she was not the charge nurse, she is on the same level as me)
i asked my assistant if she could change a bed for me
i asked the same assistant if a room was ready for an admission
i didnt finish an admission that the doctor was still writing orders for.
you sound like a great don...please come work at our hospital.
seems like management there enjoys the bickering and backstabbing. they perpetuate it.
i got written up so many times by the SAME three nurses (the little clique) that you would think a red light would go off in the managers head saying....gee i wonder why these same three nurses keep writing up this one. nah..i got called into the office not them.
know how i finally resolved it?
i started passing out write up sheets to the other nurses so they could write me up easier. i let everyone on the unit know what was going on.
i made comments about being written up and told everyone how to spell my name. it soon became the joke of the unit and it stopped.
i handled this MYSELF. i always try to do that first, nicely, if that doesnt work i will do it publicly and not so nice. that usually does it.
im sorry, ive not had any support from management at my hospital. i dont trust them.
Dec 6, '01LOL, hool..you crack me up, you're the kinda person I love to work with.
You're probably being attacked by this US because you're a new grad. I had the same type situation when I graduated. I was actually a secretary on the unit I still work on, before becoming a nurse. This may have been part of my problem. However, this secretary and I had never been "buds" and she had problems with most everyone.
One evening, I walked from the back of the nursing station to hear a parent talking with this secretary. They were having problems with communication, the parent was asking for something, the secretary wasn't comprehending. It was MY patient's parent. I spoke up and asked the parent what she needed. A towel or something simple. So, I got it. Returned to the nurses station to an unhappy secretary attempting to publically humiliate me..."Just cuz you're a nurse, don't go tryin' to butt into my buziness". I said, "uh, I beg your pardon". She repeated, I began to realize she was mad over my assisting my patient. Soooooooo, it got uglier and uglier, finally I asked her to step into the treatment room. I said, "Look here, I don't care if I'm a nurse and you're a doctor, which you aren't, but YOU will NOT disrespect me at the nurses station in front of parents and visitors!!" So, here we go again, she gets louder..trying that public humility thing..so, calmly, I backed her against a door, GOT IN HER PERSONAL SPACE, POINTED MY FINGER IN HER FACE, and said, calmly but directly..'Look here, bit#$, I'd just as soon stomp your sorry arse as not. Now we can either be civil here, or we can play this inferiority game of yours. But I ain't gonna play with words. My actions WILL speak louder than your words." She quickly and quietly left the tx room and never said another cross word to me.
did i mention i've been in one fight in my life, and I was 14 and got my butt kicked?? lol anyhow, she believed me.
NOW, as an old unit secretary, let me say this: I only did the job for six months, was the worst damn job I ever had. It was like having 15 bosses at one time. Every nurse, doctor and patient on the floor thinks your their personal secretary. I'm constantly reminding coworkers, if you have time to put your own order in and the clerk's busy, DO IT, if the phone's ringing and the clerk's busy, ANSWER IT, etc. Many nurses feel they are above/beyond doing some things Don't fool yourself into thinking that the clerk and nursing assistant do not notice who feels this way. Those nurses that ask them to do every little thing are much more likely to have problems with them.Last edit by nurs4kids on Dec 7, '01
Dec 6, '01ERRN< yes it is because you are "new." It takes some time to grow your "ba!!s." That is my favorite advice to new nurses It took me about 10 years in nursing before I finally said enough! Then when I turned 35, something really snapped in me. I decided life was waaaaay toooo short to take crap from anybody!!
I do have to say, I never discriminate against anyone who is "under" me, I am always equally nice to everyone, until they give me a reason to "get in their face!" I have sucked up to many a secretary to get them on my good side, so that when I do really need somthing urgently, they know I mean it, and I don't treat everything as a crisis. But, I will not kiss anyone's butt so they will not abuse me. There is a subtle difference there, not sure quite how to explain. I never thought about how the US feels in that way before nurs4, good insight. Too bad they don't make every person try everyone else's job on orientation. I mean I know US and dietary can't be nurses, but they could shadow the nurses on their day. I think it would be an eye opening experience for all involved.
Dec 7, '01hoolihan...
growing balls is a waste if you dont know how to use them...lol
i got kicked around plenty...i sure learned how to use them!
i agree with you about the public humiliation though i try my hardest to resolve it in a civil manner first. some people dont respond to that as im sure you already know.
i think of all....yours was the best advice
Dec 17, '01Our unit secretary was treated as if she were the Queen of the World. She told everybody their job, including the Assistant Nursing Care Coordinator. She was just a mean, gossipy witch. I started as a brand new RN and consistently treated her with the utmost respect. I felt at sea. She would bite my head off if I asked her the slightest question.
One time I saw her grab a chart a doctor had just written an order in. She looked at the stat order and said "I ain't doin' none of this stat crap." She switched the order to a regular order. This was done in front of the doctor. He said nothing. My jaw dropped.
Then later that evening the same doctor wrote a stat order. The secretary from hell looked at the stat and said "I know you and your stat orders. I ain't doin' none of this stat crap." She changed the order back to regular and got around to it when she was ready. The doctor said nothing.
I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it.
Dec 18, '01I read these posts sometimes and think I must have just been born with a set of brass balls or something. The concept of letting someone abuse you to make your life easier is foreign to me. Not that I am not fair or that I haven't worked with my share of personalities. I just don't often encounter the same problem twice.
I once worked with a unit secretary who was by all accounts a PIA. It was in the ED, I was in charge and I told her to clock out, go home, and meet me in the managers office in the morning. She asked me who would put in the orders, and I told her "Every nurse in here can do your job." So we worked all night with me and another nurse tag teaming as US.
The US wasn't fired immediately, but she was immediately moved off my shift and was later summarily dismissed.
I have also sent home nurses and techs in the middle of the night. My rationale? If you aren't going to do your job then you aren't going to collect a check while someone else does it.
My manager questioned me about sending people home and indicated that maybe I should re think it. So I invited her to spend a night in our ED with 5 nurses tending to 34 beds and tell me that teamwork wasn't a crucial part of the job. I also told her that if she didn't like how I did things while I was in charge that perhaps I wasn't the person for the job and invited her to get someone else to do charge. I didn't hear anything else from her until I got a most excellent evaluation and peer review.