Need some help here....

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I will be starting my clinicals in the summer and have been on this board for a while, so I know how great yall are, I was wondering if you could give me some direction here. My sisters daughter is the sweetest person! she has always been very skinny but lately she is even more so, she is 15 and weighs 108 pounds she is about 5' 2". I have talked to her about this on more than one occasion because i never see her eat! last nite she finally told me the truth after she passed out!! She has been starving herself to stay skinny! she does not like it that her body is changing and she is filling out! she is way under weight! she says she is not throwing up to stay skinny that she just does not eat when she's hungry and the hunger pains will "just go away" (her words)!!!!this is the sweetest person yet she is constantly putting herself down and/or apologizing for herself! she gives great advice to everyone yet never considers herself! she is definately a people pleaser and will do anything for someone else! everyone Loves her yet she doesn't think so!!!! i am hoping that you will all have some advice for both of us!! i have heard of some eating disorders but i don't know what this is?!?! i would like to find out more info on it so that i can help her and be there for her!! is anyone familiar with this!?!? Please Help! Any advice as to the type of dr's she needs, she passed out the other nite from not eating.. My sister is at a loss as to what to do and in what order to do them in. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I just wanted to say thanks for all of your input and advice. My sister took her to her Dr. this morning and he drew blood to make sure all her levels are good. He said that his youngest daughter had this problem for a good deal of her adolescence and has beaten this disorder. She has also went on to become a Dr. herself specializing in eating disorders. So, they are going to set up an appointment with her asap.

As far as 108 lbs, I put her ht, wt and age up there because I know that a lot depends on that information. It helps when you know those specifics so you know what exactly you are looking at physically anyway. Sorry, it was the unit secretary in me kicking in. lol It is definitely the underlying problem of not wanting to get fat and starving herself that is the biggest issue, I just wanted to make sure that her ht, and wt were compatable.

Thank you all again so much for all of your input. Yall are the greatest.

Wolf

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From what you wrote, the issue as I read it is: she is not eating because she does not want to gain weight and "fill out."

What does that say? I'm reading that she does not want to fill out, because then she knows the boys will begin hassling her. She then sees herself becoming a sex-object, with all the unwelcome attention that brings with it. With thinness, the boys will move on to more "filled out" girls.

I see it as a problem with body image. And a problem with the transition from girl-to - woman. It is a control issue. She wants to remain in control of her life, free of the unwanted advances of teenage boys.

And anorexia is usually about control. If she could receive direction that a woman can fill out and maintain control, I think it would help.

As far as the weight is concerned, I was 15 and weighed 103 #'s. I was 5'8' tall. Everyone called me a beanpole. From age 12 on, I slept on my stomach at night because I didn't want my breasts to develop. I had an older sister who was "filled out", and her life revolved around boys and "passes". She developed early, around 12. I did not envy her.

I was lucky, my parents never criticised or made anything of my awkward appearance. I was a bookworm and athletic and a loner at that age. By 18, I had "developed" from the "awkward stage" as my mother so patiently referred to it for six years, LOL, and turned into a rather attractive "swan."

I have always been grateful for those years, to learn who I was, unencumbered by the attentions of hormone raging boys.

And, when I married, I married a geek, bookwormish, ugly duckling who has aged very attractively.

I think I am trying to say that not all of us are Britney Spears lookalikes. Mother Nature just needs more time on some of us.

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Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Pretty scary..But, if the problem is anorexia, which is about control issues, I would suppose it would be difficult to get this girl into counseling....Sounds serious from the habits described..Hope all goes well. I would think focusing on someone who is thin as you described but with good habits would be as disturbing as focusing on a healthy over weight person..(over whose weight?)

As much as my husband and I try not to even make appearance an issue, and actually teach our kids not to judge a person or group soley on appearance, our 5 year old daughter just told me she was fat...To her I posed the question, why do you feel that way and also, why would that be a bad thing? She didn't know...

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From one who worked in an eating disorder facility for a couple years my advice is it's a family issue and they need to seek counselling from an eating disorder specialist ASAP.

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I hope she gets the help, if she needs it.

I have to say, though, that I am the same height and weigh a couple of pounds less than she does, and I'm 26. I wouldn't characterize myself as extremely underweight. But then I don't have an eating disorder, either.

Good luck to her.

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Keep her away from coffee and liquorice, check her pockets after she "eats" and keep her entertained with company after every meal.

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