My Room Mate tried to commit suicide tonight. - page 3

What should I have done, or could have done, before the EMTs were here? Room mate took a full 500tab bottle of Ibuprofen. Cops were here, them banging on the door is what woke me up. It took the... Read More

  1. by   cherrybreeze
    Quote from canoehead
    I disagree- it's a desperate act, and agree that judging someone who is clearly at the end of their rope is unfair. I'd also add that calling it selfish is just a coping mechanism for those that survive.
    We all die, but picking your own time and place is selfish? Please. In most other issues in life we're counselled to do what will make the situation better. A depressed person feels that removing themselves will make things better- but their logic is wrong- they are mentally ill. Looking at it from their point of view it might actually a sacrifice to help the survivors- we don't know.

    Of course the halfway suicides, for the 6th time this year, because they had a fight with their friend...I can't defend that. But serious attempts...calling them selfish is just a copout.
    OK you said it much better than I could. Your explanation is much more what I was trying to say. And until someone knows the feeling, they can't understand it (and that's not their fault, really....it's something you can't comprehend until you know it, truly, IMO).
  2. by   rngolfer53
    Quote from canoehead
    I disagree- it's a desperate act, and agree that judging someone who is clearly at the end of their rope is unfair. I'd also add that calling it selfish is just a coping mechanism for those that survive.
    We all die, but picking your own time and place is selfish? Please. In most other issues in life we're counselled to do what will make the situation better. A depressed person feels that removing themselves will make things better- but their logic is wrong- they are mentally ill. Looking at it from their point of view it might actually a sacrifice to help the survivors- we don't know.

    Of course the halfway suicides, for the 6th time this year, because they had a fight with their friend...I can't defend that. But serious attempts...calling them selfish is just a copout.
    I've heard it explained that the suicidal person is at the time suffering from a lack of imagination, in that he/she simply cannot see anything that will make the situation tolerable. (Not talking here about end of life suicide r/t terminal illness.)

    Is lack of imagination a selfish act? I can't see it that way.
  3. by   cherrybreeze
    Quote from rngolfer53
    I've heard it explained that the suicidal person is at the time suffering from a lack of imagination, in that he/she simply cannot see anything that will make the situation tolerable. (Not talking here about end of life suicide r/t terminal illness.)

    Is lack of imagination a selfish act? I can't see it that way.
    Lack of imagination...I'm not sure if those are quite the words I'd use, but I know what you're getting at.

    That person really doesn't see things improving or changing, that part is definitely true. I think people say it's selfish because they believe the suicidal person isn't considering the feelings of the people that will be hurt not only if they succeed, but just by the fact that they tried it. They don't realize that the suicidal person just doesn't see it that way, they don't think they're hurting anyone; they think they're doing them a favor that they won't have to "deal with them" any more.

    No matter what you call it, it's just such a sad thing that people can end up in a place like that, mentally. I hope to never be there again myself.
  4. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Quote from canoehead
    I disagree- it's a desperate act, and agree that judging someone who is clearly at the end of their rope is unfair. I'd also add that calling it selfish is just a coping mechanism for those that survive.
    We all die, but picking your own time and place is selfish? Please. In most other issues in life we're counselled to do what will make the situation better. A depressed person feels that removing themselves will make things better- but their logic is wrong- they are mentally ill. Looking at it from their point of view it might actually a sacrifice to help the survivors- we don't know.

    Of course the halfway suicides, for the 6th time this year, because they had a fight with their friend...I can't defend that. But serious attempts...calling them selfish is just a copout.

    THANK YOU, I cringe every time I see someone say it's just a selfish act, when you are at that fork in the road thinking about life and death, sometimes you feel like your death is the LEAST selfish thing you can do. Sometimes you feel like it will in the end turn out to better the lives of others, thinking after a few months they will be fine and things will be better for everyone with you gone. You're obviously not in a clear frame of mind (in some cases) and you truly believe these things and feel you are doing the most SELFLESS thing you can do.
  5. by   eriksoln
    I dont disagree completely with the notion that suicide is selfish. But, we have to separate "suicide" from acting out too.

    People with clinical depression, life threatening illnesses, chronic illnesses that severely lower the quality of living...............that's a different case all together. These people are attempting "suicide".

    Now, the one's who act out and threaten it every time something is not to their liking................I have better and more deserving places to place my sympathy. For crying out loud, I knew someone when I was a teen who did the whole suicide attempt routine (swallowed 5 or 6 aspirin one time and called the ambulance BEFORE doing it to make sure they got there in time, put a paper cut on her wrist but had a friend in the room on stand by in case she couldn't bear to dial the phone) over everything. Mom wont let her use the car that night........I'll kill myself and get back at her. Sister got a better Christmas gift than her, lets teach Santa a lesson with a nice suicide attempt. And there are adults who act this way too. I have no time or patience for this sort. These are the people I would say..........yes, suicide is just a means to enforce the selfish impulses.

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