Mom needs advice please!!! - page 3

Hello, Any advice would be helpful. My daughter is 17 years old and was homeschooled. She went ahead and took her GED and did well. She has wanted to be a nurse for many many years. She was... Read More

  1. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from Homeschool Mom
    She is taking the LPN course through a Learning Center now. Before she enrolled and I paid I explained to them that she had some MC test taking problems. They told me No Worries, they had seen this before and were equppied to help. But so far no real help as come. I really want to schedule an appt with her instructor but my daughter fears because she is the youngest in the class the teacher may take it that my daughter can not handle her own problems. I talked to the instrcutor in the beginning on the phone and she said she was reluntact to talk to me because of privacy laws. I am really confused on that one. My daughter took the Microbiology section and scored all A's on her tests and quizzes. Fill in the blank but she got the 73 on the final. She is bright. I thought about pulling her and re-enrolling her i the other school in December but I don't know if thats the best course of action. If you met my daughter you would know she is just so meant for nursing. She has volunteered at a local hospital and gone on 4 missions trip. She loves to help people. Should I go ahead and schedule a meeting with the instructor or will this make my daughter look bad?
    I think you need to get involved with the school on behalf of your daughter. They seem to be breaking their word to you. Get tough with them, Mom, other wise they will continue to tell your dtr to fix the trouble alone and they will continue to not keep their word to you that they would be available to help her with MC.

    Actually, MC is easier for most people that I know. You can always eliminate 2 of the 4 answers right away and then just have to very carefully think through the other 2 and pick one. Your dtr is almost getting the required 75 so I think she can do just a little better and pass the tests.

    Yes, the state licensing exam (NCLEX) is multiple choice, so she does need to master taking that type of test.

    If she doesn't make it as a nurse, she will, I'm sorry to disappoint you, probably be better off. Nursing these days is very, very hard. Sorry if that is disappointing but I think it's not the end of the world if she doesn't make it. God will open another door for her.

    Check with lots and lots of sources for free money for her schooling. Check with the fed gov for a Federal Nurse Traineeship grant, check with your state gov, go to corporations, search the internet. There are many sources of free money.
  2. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from santhony44
    This might be the hardest thing for you to do, but I agree with the other posters who have said that you need to back off and let her handle it. If, at 17, she is mature enough to do the LPN program, then she needs to be mature enough to deal with her instructors herself. If she's not, then maybe she needs to be taking basic college classes or maybe working for a while.

    It's hard to let go but it's time to start.

    My older son is dyslexic. I was very involved in his schooling throughout and did homeschool one year. Then after he graduated from high school he went out of state to a technical program. His first semester, he failed a class.

    I can tell you that the urge to go and grab the instructor by the collar and shake his teeth out was strong. The urge to call him up was strong.

    I didn't. My son retook the class and passed it and didn't fail another.

    I was teaching at the time, though graduate students, and hearing the BSN instructors talk about getting calls from parents was enough to convince me that letting him fail was painful but that intervening would be much worse. If you do that, she's done at that school. The fact that you're paying does not matter (I was and still am!).

    Work with her at home in learning strategies to do better on MC tests, maybe as someone else suggested get an experienced nurse to work with her and talk her through the thought processes needed to do well, but stay away from the school.

    And, as someone suggested, it may be that she's just not not yet at the maturity level to think critically in the way that nursing requires. If this does not work out, maybe she could try CNA training and work in that role for a while.

    I can tell you that all the old cliches you hear about them stepping on your toes when they're little but on your heart when they're bigger is not just a cliche. It's true. Parenting babies and small children is hard but parenting young adult children is just as hard in different ways!

    Well, maybe you shouldn't call. What does your dtr want you to do? As I look back, I had to not intervene too much, especially after grade school, in my own kids' lives at school. My boys especially died a thousand deaths when I even mentioned that I was thinking of communicating with their teachers.
  3. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from LadyBug1029
    Hey, a little trick that helps a lot to prevent getting flustered when doing MC questions is to cover up the answer choices and just read the question. Have her come up with the correct answer without even looking at the choices, then uncover the choices and choose the one that is closest to the answer in your head. If she has no problem with the fill in the black format, this little trick might work.

    Hope this helps, best of luck
    This is an excellent idea!
  4. by   barbie90210
    [font=book antiqua]without reading everything in detail since she was home schooled she may not have gotten used to the zillions of multiple "guess" tests that most people take in school. however, the exam to get the lpn license will definitely be multiple choice. for me, the multiple choice test was extremely easy. i passed my rn boards on the first try before i finished my nursing program as a non-grad. the reason it is easy is that i look first for the answer that i know is wrong. or, i know some part of an answer that is definitely right and then keep eliminating. some answers i know without this little trick but i still use it to check. and i always recheck all of my answers before turning in the test. there are two other possibilities. one is that your daughter has extreme test anxiety. she knows about the money and that it is all on the line. in that case, i would check out some books on self hypnosis and visualization to beat those test taking nerves. let her visualize taking the exam - sitting through the whole thing, marking the answers in her mind. and then as part of the visualization she should see her score as 100% in big red numbers. she should visualize herself relaxed, confident, and successful. this works in many areas and you don't need to pay a therapist to do this mental conditioning. she's simply exercising an old muscle in a different way - her mind. the other possibility is that deep down she is afraid of or does not really want to become an lpn. even if she says she does, either she lacks the confidence to succeed, is sabotaging herself, or deep, deep down does not really and truly want to become a nurse. the other thing is that here in southern california the community colleges cost $26 per unit and financial aid/scholarships are available. the school you are mentioning sounds extremely expensive. i don't know if it would be worth it for her to relocate here and go for the rn instead. i think she has to live here a year to qualify for in-state tuition - but there may also be a waiting list. there is little difference between the actual job duties of the rn and lpn. one works with iv's and has more responsibility but the pay is quite different. also the job opportunities are more abundant for an rn. the community colleges here all have tutoring programs at nominal fees. whatever the outcome, if it can't be visualized in the mind then it can't happen in reality. i hope she gives this careful thought and has actually volunteered in a hospital before she becomes a nurse. there are many people who are extremely dissatisfied in the profession. for more information go to and click on the job story forum. it gives an inside look into nursing from people writing anonymously and these people do not hold back. they tell you their true feelings both positive and negative. also there is a recent post on aol - if you have aol go to the nursing message boards. click on a message board called "the gripe zone". there is a story of a student nurse working in a hospital and it is pretty comprehensive. i don't know where you live but i think taking some classes at a community college would be good for her. for example, in preparing for an rn program we had to take about two years of pre-requisities. this would get her used to the whole system and might be a good thing. above all, remember that you do not need the help. your daughter needs the help, says she wants to be a nurse, and must get on the internet and do some research. good luck! :mortarboard:
  5. by   nurselala33
    Well you have given me a lot to think about. I will tell you my daughter wants to go as far as able. She has no intention of stopping at LPN. She just turned 17 and will turn 18 just as she graduates. She wants to attend college after this school and keep going. But she does want to work as an LPN to gain experince. I did find out that the school she is in is ranked #1 as far as LPN schools go. Its the mos difficult to make it through. She said that many of the women were crying yesterday due to just being overwhelmed. Also......

    I can tell you one poster scared me to death. I got a private message asking me why I would want my daughter to be a nurse. She said she would be kicked, hit and spit on and most nurses end up in agony by the age of 50. I do know a few nurses and never had I heard such negative stuff. Is it really that awful for a nurse?

    I don't want to give this posters identity but she told me this and it scared me:

    This is what the poster stated to me:

    ". I don't know why you would encourage your daughter to go into nursing. She will risk being kicked, spit on, cussed at, treated like a flunkee, and generally abused."
    She will be exposed to many diseases and antibiotic-resistant bacteria, hepatitis, TB, HIV and the verbal abuse is VERY real. The reason is that no one sets limits with the doctors. I'm sure I won't discourage you but I posted a couple of links so that you can listen to the stores of other nurses at http://www.*********.com. Your daughter will need a very thick skin, be on her feet for 12 hours at a time without eating or going to the bathroom, and have a huge responsibility that she will not have the accompanying authority to deal with. I am speaking from 20 years of experience and am not a novice. I like some things about my job but in general would not advise anyone to enter the profession.
    With an LPN license she will still have to upgrade to an RN license to get away from bedside nursing. The average career length for a bedside nurse is SEVEN years - and I have known many nurses who have had to go on disability due to injuries and believe it or not many nurses (younger than 50) who have died from various causes including pulmonary embolism, heart disease, and cancer. One this year had to go out on disability for chemo. It may be the environment of the hospital (stress), handling drugs, or radiation. It could be unrelated but with that many deaths I don't think so. To be informed is to be prepared but some people feel that nothing really prepares you for hospital nursing. I hope you consider this in the best possible light and not as a total discouragement. But, it is the truth and that is why there is such a shortage in the face of what may seem like a relatively high salary. "


    Last edit by NRSKarenRN on Oct 6, '06 : Reason: webite edited
  6. by   JennyRN09
    The best advice I can give you is to get an NCLEX prep book. I'm in an ADN registered nursing program and I have the NCLEX prep book by Saunders and it has been a life saver for me. I am not great with MC either, but, this has really helped me in that arena. A lot of schools have those harsh standards. My school, passing is a 73. The reason they do a lot with MC is because the NCLEX is all MC. It's to prepare you and get you ready to take that exam. I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm sure your daughter is everything you say she is and she will make a great nurse. Just continue to encourage her and really think about the NCLEX prep book. They range anywhere from $50 - $100 and they are worth every penny. She's really got to get a handle on the MC questions because that is the format of the NCLEX. I do wish you the best of luck. I hope it all works out!
  7. by   BSNtobe2009
    Unfortunately, this is one of the "drawbacks" to homeschooling. Children that are homeschooled know the material, but when it comes to doing research and taking critical thinking tests, this is where they don't do well. This is why she is doing well on fill in the blank (which, by the way, is HARDER for most people to do), than multiple choice. The "fill-in" questions are more clear-cut for her, and this is exactly why she is doing well on those.

    However, what is done is done, and you have to find a way to fix it.

    Do you have a Sylvan learning center in your area or something similar? I do not recommend a tutor..she doesn't need help learning the material, she needs to gain test-taking skills and a tutor is going to be subject-knowledgable, but you need someone who is a licensed teacher that is skilled in teaching your child how to go through multiple choice tests. Another option is to see if a local college has such a program.

    Once she gets over this hurdle, I am very confident, that your daughter will be able to continue her education with no problem. She is just competing with students that have performed critical thinking tests their entire life in a regular school setting, and higher learning institutions teach, based on this assumption.

    Good luck!
  8. by   StudyingNursing
    You mentioned that the books are expensive. Have you tried the library? The local library and her college library may have study guides. Try a variety and see which works best. I checked the Saunders RN and the Kaplan study guides out of my local public library when I was studying in school and for the NCLEX.

    That said, I love my job. I am not spit on, though I may have various body fluids to clean up. I worked as a clinical technician in Telemetry while in school, and the other clin techs were helpful and friendly, and we worked together to get the patient care done. Now I work in L&D as an RN, and love my job. It can be overwhelming at times while I am learning and have two patients ready to push at the same time or having decels, but my job is very rewarding. Please don't let one person's comments scare you away from nursing -- there are many different areas of nursing to get into. While I learned a lot about prioritizing and patient care in Telemetry, I really love L&D and working with women and children and feel this is the place for me. . . for now . I also like the Neonatal Resuscitation Nurse's job, and may try to do that in a few years, but the big thing is there are many choices you can make in health care and many different directions you can go.

  9. by   mamason
    HomeSchool MOM,
    I know there ARE drawbacks to nursing. But, every career has it's draw backs. Some facilities are harder to work at than others. There are a lot of nurses that love their job. Mainly because they found the right place to work. So, don't let this discourage you. I've had bad experiences too, but, that doesn't make me feel like I want to quit nursing. Granted, nursing is not for everyone. But, if your daughter really wants to do it, then she will probably be just fine. Remember, this site also allows us(nurses) to vent about bad days and such. Search through the forums and read the threads about positive experiences. There are quite a few of them. Good LUck!
  10. by   Janlynn
    Wow. Sorry that someone felt the need to scare you. I can say there are days that I've questioned why I went into this field, but you know they are nothing compared to the feeling I get when I've truly helped someone. Seems to me the person that e-mailed you is very bitter and burned-out.
  11. by   SummerGarden
    Quote from Homeschool Mom
    I would want my daughter to be a nurse. She said she would be kicked, hit and spit on and most nurses end up in agony by the age of 50. I do know a few nurses and never had I heard such negative stuff. Is it really that awful for a nurse?

    I don't want to give this posters identity but she told me this and it scared me:

    ". I don't know why you would encourage your daughter to go into nursing. She will risk being kicked, spit on, cussed at, treated like a flunkee, and generally abused."
    She will be exposed to many diseases and antibiotic-resistant bacteria, hepatitis, TB, HIV and the verbal abuse is VERY real.

    I understand your fears, but you are not the one who has to live your daughter's life. It is not your choice even though you are the Mom and paying the bills. If she chooses not to go into nursing because of your fears, she will still be drawn to a career helping people, and thus she will still be at risk for the above.

    The fact is people who work in careers that deal directly with the public are at risk of bodily injury. Social Workers, Cops, Firefighters, EMTs, volunteers, or even a Medical Assistant taking patients back for his/her check up are at risk.

    I doubt your daughter will be convinced to choose a different career path for too long assuming you are able to change her mind right now. Trust me when I say that the change of mind will only be temporary. At 17 she may placate to your wishes because she is afraid to do otherwise (you hold the purse strings and she was home schooled and possibly sheltered). However, sooner or later you and your husband will not have that kind of control over her life or her choices and she will be back here.

    Read the posts on this board of people who changed his/her minds at an early age because of parents and now are trying to get nursing degrees. I know, I am one of them.

    I went into IT because my parents were not thrilled with the idea of me becoming a nurse for similar reasons (my Mom worked in health care for years and knew the risks). I was miserable, though I was good at my job! I always had a nagging feeling I was doing NOTHING with my life.

    People told me that I "saved" their lives when I was able to do my job and recover material or fix a computer problem or write a program that saved time. However, I did not come close to actually saving lives until I worked as a Social Worker. So now I am back studying to become a Registered Nurse.

    You say you know you have to give her more control. Well, this is the time to actually do it. Let her live her life and she will actually come to you for advice. If you continue to shove advice down her throat and try to fix her problems, she will eventually start to ignore you because she will realize you are hindering her growth and harming her future.
    Last edit by SummerGarden on Oct 6, '06
  12. by   Mommy TeleRN
    I think the advice to take a few gen ed classes is a great idea. Get her feet wet for college type learning. She would probably enjoy those a lot more than jumping straight into nursing classes.

    In my nursing program (RN) we had an entire lecture dedicated to studying and test taking! These styles of tests are something so unique to nursing programs that it is very important to learn HOW to take the tests. I have found several books in the nursing section at our college library about test taking. They help you identify what TYPE of test taker you are (for instance personally I WAY over think questions) and give you tips of figuring out the distractors. I also like the idea of covering the potential answers and thinking about it BEFORE you get distracted by those distractors lol.
    I don't know a lot about LPN school.. but in RN school we are expected to take initiative in our learning process and there is much self study involved. This may be why the books were recommended... that is why they are written..because that is a whole learning component unto itself..learning the way the tests work.

  13. by   jojotoo
    Quote from Homeschool Mom
    We can not afford tutors. And she has asked for help and they told her to buy a book. I do have a book ordered for her. It just baffels me as to how schools can vary so much. The school that she is in now bases all their weight on finals and I found out has about 50 % grad rate but the other school takes all tests into consideration and has a 99 % grad rate. I wish I had dug deeper. I know she has to take a State Exam but there are plenty of online prep courses and books for that and she can retake it. I had just heard that it took a women 5 times to pass. Why do programs vary so much?

    It's not the graduation rate from the school that you need to worry about, it's the pass rate for the LVN boards. We started with 60 students in my ADN program and had 12 graduate at the end of two years. But all twelve passed boards.

    The problem with nursing school and the standardized tests and the NCLEX (board exam) is that none of them reward critical thinking skills. They want rote memorization of facts and the ability to regurgitate them. The problem with home schooled kids that I have seen is that they are usually better educated than their peers and DO have increased critical thinking skills.

    So, now what to do for your daughter. Since she is getting good grades on non-MC tests, it's obvious that she knows the material. The various MC books that were recommended (also called Q&A practice books) are a good idea. This will give her practice with that specific testing format. How about when she takes a MC test, she cover everything but one question at a time with her hand or a piece of blank paper. Then answer that question in her mind as if it is a fill in the blank. Then uncover the answers for that question and choose the answer that best fits what she has already decided on as the answer.