Last birthday

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Not exactly nursing related, but as fellow nurses who may have loved and lost someone, I know many of you may be able to relate...

This weekend is my mother's birthday. She will be 51. Unlike other birthdays that start with a card and end in a cake, this birthday will be her last. She has been battling lung cancer and has months left to live.

I am clueless as to what to get someone (particularly someone so special) for their last birthday. Ideas? Suggestions?

I've considered a memory book- as in everyone writes a favorite memory or funny story about her in it. I would, however, love to have more ideas. Thanks all!

Specializes in NICU.

What a poignant day for you and your family. I think a memory book is a lovely idea--one that is particularly meaningful, to your mom now and to you later.

Maybe a homemade blanket that your mom can snuggle in? My guess is that she would just love time with you.

I'm sorry this is something that you are going through right now. Your mom is very young and I bet this is very hard for all of you. My prayers are with you and your family. :redpinkhe

I think the memory book idea is a great one. At this point, objects are meaningless.

I think the memory book is a very wonderful idea. It will give your mother a lot of happiness.

When my grandfather was dying, we pulled the whole family together from across the country for his last Easter. Everyone went to church together for the early service and then back to my grandparents' house. He was beaming all day. I think the togetherness and the chance to see everyone one last time was what made him so happy.

I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I wish all of you peace in this hard time.

Specializes in PACU, OR.

Lost my dad a few years back, and I still miss him. Make the most of your remaining time with your Mom. If her health can stand it, take her somewhere you know she'd really like to go. Give her something she's always wanted, or a book she really wants to read. If she has a favorite movie that she doesn't have a copy of, you could consider that.

The best present will be having all her loved ones around her on her last birthday-please make sure everyone's there.

I wish you strength.

Do you have your favorite recipes from her? If not, a recipe box with blank recipe cards so that she could record the family recipes would be a thought.

Does she have grandchildren who are old enough to understand what's going on? If so, Hallmark makes books that you can record in your own voice. She may enjoy the opportunity to record a story for her grandchildren... especially something that could be read at family occasions like Christmas. I'm not sure if they have their holiday things out yet or not.

Does your mom have a computer? Could you get her a webcam so that she could visually record herself and her memories to DVD for your family? You'd be able to burn copies for everyone to have.

Snapfish and Shutterfly are photo services where you can make bound photo books... more permanent than photo albums, and then include text. What about a picture book that includes favorite memories and stories? That would almost definitely take longer to get there than this weekend, but could perhaps be a surprise in the coming days.

I am so sorry for the upcoming days for you and your family. I hope that you will find peace and even joy as you face the end of your mother's life; I hope that you will learn things about each other that you never may have known otherwise. I will hope for the best for you all.

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

We created a large board with pictures ranging all thru Mom's life and included all of the family and close friends. My niece, a teenager at the time, created and read a poem suitable for the occasion. We gathered as many family as possible and talked about the events in the pictures. She kept the board in her room after that.

Specializes in Cardiac step down unit.

I have lost both of my parents, and the one thing I wish (and I'm sure they did too) was for more time. Because "more" time is not under our control, just make the most of the time you have.

It all depends on your Mom's likes and wants. Whatever you choose, ENJOY just being together.

Loving hugs and prayers to you and your family :redbeathe

Kelly

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