Job loss, domestic violence, help on advice for getting back on the horse!!!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi everyone,

I havent visited for a while because my life fell apart. The nursing home I was working for wasnt working out, My husband had back surgery two years ago and has been on oxycodone. The last three months have been a nightmare, his drug use out of control. YES this pain medication creates addicts. It is like living with a manic depressive, when they are high, they are out of control happy and manic and full of 'crazy' energy. I gave him an ultimatum, get help or get out, by Christmas. Wouldnt you know it, Christmas day evening he lost it and beat me up. He has been in jail ever since. I had given my notice at the LTC facility a while back due to circumstances there and due to the chaos at home, (I was afraid to leave my boys alone with him). I feel like an idiot, I should have done something sooner, but in 11 years of marriage he has never touched me. Never underestimate the power of drugs, huh? (Although as a nurse, I would never touch someone who was in the state he was in, but when you are home, and in your relationship, you dont always think like a nurse!)

OKAY, so besides all the sordid details, I need a job and I need it NOW. I am going to lose my home, and I swear, there isnt anything out there! Maybe because I am so desperate, but if anybody has any advice at all about finding a job, please please send it my way. I already have my children and myself in counseling regarding the domestic violence issue, since they were there. The whole emotional aspect is devastating, but it has been long enough that my bruises and psyche are starting to heal. I just need a job right now!!!!!!

Anybody?

Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

hang in there and bless you

Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Rehabiliation Nursing.

Hi everyone,

Still hanging in there, the rehab job is working out wonderfully, I find it emotionally satisfying, financially rewarding, and everything I have been looking for in nursing. Personally, I am still battling my personal demons, but I am grateful for what I have, (after rehab nursing, and seeing young couples dealing with a 33 year old husband with expressive aphasia and total loss of use of one side of his body, just one small example,), well, my problems are a little less severe. Doesnt make it any less hard, but it does make me more grateful for what I do have.

As always, thanks for the support!!!

I love my job!!

KristyB

I was hired immediately out of school for agency night shift. If your children are old enough night nurses are in desperately short supply. It can be rough with kids though. Try your local church even if you are not a member of the congregation thhe pastor may know of resources that you are unaware of. Hospice is rough but another field that always needs nurses. Good luck, take one day at a time.

Specializes in med-surg,sa,breast & cervical ca.

Kristy,

I totally understand your fears about losing everything financially but, if your DH is truly working a program of recovery & attending NA meetings daily and showing signs of being serious about recovery I guess you do what you gotta do, but remember I am biased I see this everyday at work so jaded as I am I think you are making a mistake but we all have to make our own mistakes. I've been there, it's hard to throw in the towel on a long term relationship. I'd be worried too how he will react to living with you but not being with you, If it were me I would be way to afraid things would escalate & get dangerous.

Right now he should be focusing on recovery & you need to TCB,, I am trying to be gentle but I am so afraid for you right now. I wish you would put some more thinking into this with a cold clinical eye..The kids will be better off seeing mommy & daddy getting along in seperate houses rather than seeing things get scary again. Kristy, I just read your latest post after posting this, just wanted to add please be careful, any weirdness/ or feeling uncomfortable just take the kids & the pets & go. I hope this works out the way you want it too, but either way we are here for you.

BIG HUGS XXX

Ms.P

Honest feedback? Don't do it. Don't let him back in unless and until the counseling has helped some. I know your intentions right now are to just let him back in and nothing more, but once you let him back it, if it gets bad again, it will be harder to get him out. Your child may be struggling and tryin to understand, but to have Daddy come back under the conditions that you set will confuse the poor kid even more. This will also give him a chance to lull you into a false sense of security. Not saying he would, just that he could.

You are in my prayers as well. I was in an abusive marriage not long ago and completing nursing school was not an option. I lost my financial aid and was put on academic probation. But with the power of prayer, I prayed that you know what out of my life. Now I am in another state with a wonderful and supportive husband, 2 beautiful kids and I finally recieved an acceptance letter today awarding me financial aid. Prayer changes things. Never give up. I thought about it, but everytime I look at those big 4 eyes staring back at me(my 2 babies), things get easier and easier. Good Liuck!!

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