Is this considered bullying?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi all :)

if I am wrong about this situation please let me know. I am a brand new nurse and I started my first job two weeks ago. My first week I noticed my preceptor was harsh on one of the nursing aides. She would gossip about her, and get frustrated with her over little stuff.

So, on my third or fourth shift, a bed alarm went off and I went running to make sure the patient wasn't about to fall. The nursing aide according to my preceptor does not get up fast enough. Which, okay I can for sure understand that. My preceptor told me she intentionally tried to push the nursing aide out of the way to prove a point to get up faster. Instead of pushing a nursing aide out of the way to prove a point-wouldn't it have been better to discuss it in person?

I like cristism, but I feel there is a certain way it should be said. She told me she will tell me "everything I'm doing wrong because that is what will make me a good nurse". I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but dealing with someone constantly putting me down I think would be a sign I should find a new job or maybe nursing isn't for me. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

First off, congrats on the job!!! that is so exciting and I can't wait until this time next year when I will be a new nurse! I am so scared but SO excited :)

Anyway, I think it is 100% bullying. I will say, there are for sure some people at my work who don't get up fast enough when hearing a bed/chair alarm. Luckily and thankfully, 99% of the staff on my floor jump up the second they hear an alarm and full on RUN to the room to check on the patient. Most times it is a tad frustrating to see the same people sit through the sound of an alarm!

But I do have some issues with the way she handled the situation.

1) She says she will tell you everything you might make a mistake on in order to make you a better nurse but cannot confront this aid with her concerns and instead talks badly behind her back? That seems contradicting to me, honestly!

2) As an aid myself I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that there is NO better feeling than truly being appreciated by the nurses. I can't speak for this aid, but I can tell when someone is genuine when they say thank you to me at the end of my shift vs when someone is just saying thank you because they feel like they have to. (Side note: in no way shape or form am I ever looking for a thank you for the things I do throughout my shift, I just love being there!!!!!). This aid is probably working her butt off as well as the nurse. But there is no good coming from talking badly about your co workers. I know that if i heard that a nurse was talking badly about me behind my back and chose to not confront me I would be pretty embarrassed and upset.

3) There is absolutely NO reason why she would want to push this aid to prove her point. All thats going to do is potentially injure the aid and potentially cause more issues between them.

Long story short, the nurse needs to confront the aid if she feels this strongly about the issue. To me it sounds like she's trying to make herself feel bigger by bullying the aid just because she thinks she can due to her job status.

Best of luck in your future work! and again, congratulations:)

PS. If anyone takes anything from reading this: be kind to everyone. You never know what they are going through. People get good at painting on a fake smile, trust me.

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Specializes in NICU.

Depends whether there was any wrongdoing.

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First off, congrats on the job!!! that is so exciting and I can't wait until this time next year when I will be a new nurse! I am so scared but SO excited :)

Anyway, I think it is 100% bullying. I will say, there are for sure some people at my work who don't get up fast enough when hearing a bed/chair alarm. Luckily and thankfully, 99% of the staff on my floor jump up the second they hear an alarm and full on RUN to the room to check on the patient. Most times it is a tad frustrating to see the same people sit through the sound of an alarm!

But I do have some issues with the way she handled the situation.

1) She says she will tell you everything you might make a mistake on in order to make you a better nurse but cannot confront this aid with her concerns and instead talks badly behind her back? That seems contradicting to me, honestly!

2) As an aid myself I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that there is NO better feeling than truly being appreciated by the nurses. I can't speak for this aid, but I can tell when someone is genuine when they say thank you to me at the end of my shift vs when someone is just saying thank you because they feel like they have to. (Side note: in no way shape or form am I ever looking for a thank you for the things I do throughout my shift, I just love being there!!!!!). This aid is probably working her butt off as well as the nurse. But there is no good coming from talking badly about your co workers. I know that if i heard that a nurse was talking badly about me behind my back and chose to not confront me I would be pretty embarrassed and upset.

3) There is absolutely NO reason why she would want to push this aid to prove her point. All thats going to do is potentially injure the aid and potentially cause more issues between them.

Long story short, the nurse needs to confront the aid if she feels this strongly about the issue. To me it sounds like she's trying to make herself feel bigger by bullying the aid just because she thinks she can due to her job status.

Best of luck in your future work! and again, congratulations:)

PS. If anyone takes anything from reading this: be kind to everyone. You never know what they are going through. People get good at painting on a fake smile, trust me.

Thank you for you're response. Just please don't take my story and think you will ever expiernce anything like this. I have to learn to take a breath and find something to research/learn instead of getting frustrated with someone who is not being very kind to me. I'm not always the most professional, believe me. I resigned and moved on. It was a learning expierience. I was excited and chipper to be at work-she hates her job. Maybe she is tired of it all, but it wasn't necessary to take it out on everyone else.

You sound like you're going to be a great RN :)

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
At then end of the day, I resigned and within a two and half week period I met my goal. No patients fell and no med errors. They remained safe. Did I make mistakes? I sure did and I need to work on them. Who knows, maybe nursing isn't for me.

Just be aware that quitting without giving notice generally makes you ineligible for rehire. Be careful about doing that too often, especially so early in your career. Best of luck.

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She should not be your preceptor. She is suppose to be guiding, you not exhibiting those traits.

I am a hands on learner. I can't watch and then do it perfectly. She guide me by showing me, but I think it would have been helpful it I was able to do stuff. Well, I got the insulin down,but she still was annoyed I checked it like three times. She did say I need to have more confidence, which maybe I do.

If you don't mind me asking, I believe I asked in my previous post-I would like to know what it's like to have a preceptor that trains differently. I know it sounds like common sense, but I'm starting a new job, and I want to communicate what I feel would be best.

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Just be aware that quitting without giving notice generally makes you ineligible for rehire. Be careful about doing that too often, especially so early in your career. Best of luck.

I asked them if I could resign and they said it was understandable. I really loved working there, but it was so toxic. I start a new job and it seems like a really nice place with a lot of good people. But, you're right it's not good to be randomly quiting. Thank you for you're input. Much appreciated :)

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The nurse is absolutely bullying the CNA. The CNA shoukd report the nurse to HR.

The nurse is not bullying you, however. I think you're being overly sensitive. However, her method of training doesn't seem to be a good match for you. Regardless. You're going to do wrong things, and someone is going to tell you that you are. Not just in orientation, but throughout your career. It's not "putting you down" it's correction. Considering the sensitive nature of our job, it's absoutely necessary. We must remain open to criticism. Always.

My very first nursing job was ROUGH. It was a 100% nursing care hospital in a large city level 1 teaching hospital. Every day was a challenge. On my very first day on the flor, my perceptor took report with me, and then proceeded to sit in the med room and talk to her husband on the phone. The entire shift. I had 3 patients plus an admission who had hepatic encephalopathy and c diff. Every time i cleaned her she pooped again. I was in there for over an hour alone before another nurse realized where i was and came to help me. NOT my preceptor either. Just a random nurse from the floor. I was with that preceptor for 6 of my 12 weeks, mind you she had been a nurse over 20 years. When i moved to night shift, my night shift preceptor slept in the break room. Nearly the whole shift. Orientation was a nightmare. And when it was over, i spent the next 3 months being 100% task orientated with no ability to critically think. It was all i could do to just get my work done each shift. Eventually i got better, but with 0 help of either preceptor. Both had years experience.

My best preceptor experience happened on a travel job (where i only got 12 hours of floor orientation) with a nurse who had less time in than i did. She didn't teach me anything i didn't already know (I've neen traveling for 2.5 years now), but she was able to determine WHAT i needed to learn as an experienced nurse new to her floor, and she adapted the training to that model.

Many places are so short staffed that you're lucky to get a preceptor with a year in the field. It's just how it is right now.

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The nurse is not bullying you, however. I think you're being overly sensitive. However, her method of training doesn't seem to be a good match for you. Regardless. You're going to do wrong things, and someone is going to tell you that you are. Not just in orientation, but throughout your career. It's not "putting you down" it's correction. Considering the sensitive nature of our job, it's absoutely necessary. We must remain open to criticism. Always.

This is so important for the OP and any other new nurse to understand.

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