Is there nursing after 50?

Malt123 · Jan 15, 2005

Malt,
Three years ago hubby and I lost everything that we worked all of our lives for, defending ourselves in a frivilous lawsuit that never made it to court. This pre-lawsuit bashing by the attorneys of our accuser went on for four years. All during those four years we had to constantly pay an attorney to represent us. He was answering a minimum 2 new letters, court filings, and untruthful accusations per month from our accuser's attorney. It got so bad that I literally got physically sick every time that I started to drive home from work, because I dreaded seeing the mailbox that I had to pass as I pulled into our driveway, knowing that there would be another ugly, nasty, and scarey letter from an attorney accusing us of shameful and nightmarish crap.
We got down to where we were so far in debt by using up every asset we had and maxing out our credit just to cover our attorney's bills that we were so far in debt that it left us in a great big financial hole. The whole thing was emotionally devestating and took both of us so far down that we were barely functioning in our jobs, and that effected both of our incomes, so we went from a decent income to very inadequate incomes. The person trying to sue us was my husband's Mother, and it was mentally damaging to us both. It broke our hearts, our spirits, our lives, our well earned and looked forward to retirement, and our wrenched our souls dry. My husband had just turned 60, and I 54. The law suit ended when we informed his Mother's attorneys that they could keep suing all that they wanted because we were filing bankruptsy and that they could duke it out for whatever was left with out creditors. Amazingly when she found out that there was no money to get out of us, she dropped her law suit. Hubby's Dad had been dead for 9 months when his Mother sued us saying that we caused his Dad's death because we had moved away from the St. Louis area to Denver, and she wanted financial compensation from us for his death! It was an unbelievable night mare.
We are starting all over again from less than nothing and both are having to file bankruptsy ... at our ages.
We are surviving and we fighting to rebuild our lives and go beyond it! I am telling you to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, get yourself together, drop the pity party (even though you are entitled to it) and spend your energies in ways to get out of the mess you are in and on with making something of your life! We are doing it on sheer DETERMINATION! I am 58 years old and he is 65. He increased his income this year by $15,000. through sweat, blood, guts and sheer determination! I have found a way to get into Nursing from the ground floor up, working my way as a CNA and will let nothing stop me from getting at least my LPN!
You HAVE something! You have your education, skills, and experience! Use it! You don't have to start from scratch because you have a marketable profession and experience. Get the he** out of that little town, and get on with creating a life! It is YOUR CHOICE what happens from here. No one can stop you but YOU! There are jobs in clinics, hospitals, other LTCs and the insurance industry is clammoring for nurses to be case workers. You also could get some advanced education. You might be surprised to find that you like other areas of nursing better that your past experience. Quit thinking negatively that you can't and start thinking about ways that you CAN! Get you mind on positive things that you can DO and start thinking of ways to get them done.
God bless you! :)

31 years ago I lost my husband, 28 years ago I was in a major MVA, 27,26,25 years ago had major surgery,21 years ago my house burnt,16 years ago I lost my house and had major surgery, 11 years ago got my RN License. Do ya think maybe it's time for some peace?

stevierae · Jan 15, 2005

31 years ago I lost my husband, 28 years ago I was in a major MVA, 27,26,25 years ago had major surgery,21 years ago my house burnt,16 years ago I lost my house and had major surgery, 11 years ago got my RN License. Do ya think maybe it's time for some peace?

Malt--you are a woman? I don't know why, but for some reason I thought you were a guy.

I think we have given you some good suggestions to follow up on, though. What I think, since you asked, is that you need to look forward and not back, and try to do whatever it is you need to do to pay the bills. Thoughts of throwing onesself off a bridge are counterproductive--if you are truly that depressed, get yourself to a doc for some anti-depressants pronto, as they take a while to kick in.

As they say, s**t happens. You just have to pick up the pieces and move on...you can't dwell on what might have been, or what shouldawouldacoulda been, if only...it's just not healthy. It will literally make you physically sick. I think, as hard as it may be, you will not be able to move forward until you let go of the anger and bitterness--and the need to cast blame-- that seems to be consuming you.

Have you ever heard the saying, "When a door closes, a window opens?" Let the past go, and move forward. You might be surprised what's out there waiting for you, if you let the past go.

I hate to say it, but you will never get hired anywhere--in ANY capacity-- with the anger, bitterness and defeatist attitude you are carrying around with you like so much excess baggage. Nobody likes to work with negative people, and managers, knowing this, shy away from hiring people who might bring down the morale in a department.

There was a girl in nursing school--a class ahead of me--that worked in a nursing home as an LVN while attending nursing school--which is hard enough--but she did it while living in a car with 4 kids!!!!!!

She, like allamericangirl, survived and in fact THRIVED despite insurmountable odds. There is not a person in our age group--and many much younger--who hasn't encountered tragedy and bad luck. It comes with the territory LIFE. I agree--drop the pity party. The main thing holding you back is YOU.

allamericangirl · Jan 15, 2005

I don't always agree with you, but darn do I ever admire you! :)

Well, I have been called opinionated a few times. LOL! :wink2:

Malt123 · Jan 15, 2005

Malt--you are a woman? I don't know why, but for some reason I thought you were a guy.
I think we have given you some good suggestions to follow up on, though. What I think, since you asked, is that you need to look forward and not back, and try to do whatever it is you need to do to pay the bills. Thoughts of throwing onesself off a bridge are counterproductive--if you are truly that depressed, get yourself to a doc for some anti-depressants pronto, as they take a while to kick in.
As they say, s**t happens. You just have to pick up the pieces and move on...you can't dwell on what might have been, or what shouldawouldacoulda been, if only...it's just not healthy. It will literally make you physically sick. I think, as hard as it may be, you will not be able to move forward until you let go of the anger and bitterness--and the need to cast blame-- that seems to be consuming you.
Have you ever heard the saying, "When a door closes, a window opens?" Let the past go, and move forward. You might be surprised what's out there waiting for you, if you let the past go.
I hate to say it, but you will never get hired anywhere--in ANY capacity-- with the anger, bitterness and defeatist attitude you are carrying around with you like so much excess baggage. Nobody likes to work with negative people, and managers, knowing this, shy away from hiring people who might bring down the morale in a department.
There was a girl in nursing school--a class ahead of me--that worked in a nursing home as an LVN while attending nursing school--which is hard enough--but she did it while living in a car with 4 kids!!!!!!
She, like allamericangirl, survived and in fact THRIVED despite insurmountable odds. There is not a person in our age group--and many much younger--who hasn't encountered tragedy and bad luck. It comes with the territory LIFE. I agree--drop the pity party. The main thing holding you back is YOU.

believe me there is no pity party here. But I do lack wings to fly out of here.

Malt123 · Jan 15, 2005

believe me there is no pity party here. But I do lack wings to fly out of here.

But when some one is actually doing this to you knowing your circumstances and you are alone, does that mean I can never ever own anything and have to keep giving away everything that I worked for. Because I can't keep carrying my stuff up and down stairs. everything you have said makes very good sense on paper. but since I am not the bionic woman that I once was and I don't have wings to fly out of here I am confused as how to get some where that may or may not be better after all if I am going to be forced to live like an animal please give me that lethal injection and I will not take a pill to make others feel better for what they have done to me. rest asured that I would not do this to myself.

allamericangirl · Jan 15, 2005

31 years ago I lost my husband, 28 years ago I was in a major MVA, 27,26,25 years ago had major surgery,21 years ago my house burnt,16 years ago I lost my house and had major surgery, 11 years ago got my RN License. Do ya think maybe it's time for some peace?

Malt, yes it is time for some peace, and I don't mean to try to pump you up with goodie 2 shoes rah, rah, you can do it, lip service. You have to make the choice to get on to where you want to be from here. You have had enough life experience to know that. But YOU have to do it, and you must get some help. Please do go see a doctor and get on some anti depressants if necessary. Get out of the past. Find something, ... anything that you can grab onto to look forward to. What is something that you have always wanted to do and have never done. Identify it, dig up everything you can about it and DO it. Anything that is positive, do it.

Something crazy happened to me one day in the middle of all my mess. I had a phone call from a minister. I didn't know him from Adam. Don't even belong to a church! I started crying while he was talking to me about something completely unrelated. He sensed it by my voice, prompted me, and I spilled my gut. He introduced me to a woman who was in his Methodist Church, in a group called the Stephen Ministries, a moral support group for people going through life struggles. I had never heard of such a thing, and wouldn't have contacted them if I had known of them. Through them I met a gal named Sandy, a NP. She made herself available to me, and has become a great friend. I have known her now over 2 years. Gradually I came out of my darkness. I know that she helped me through it, also anti depressants.

You have gone through hard times in your past, so you know that this will eventually become less and less, but you also know that getting over the past requires your making a great effort.

I don't know why life bopps us on the head and heart so hard sometimes, but for some of us, it just does. I like to think that every hardship that I have gone through has just made me stronger, know more about life, smarter, more compassionate of others, and more passionate about not letting it do me in!

My life reads like a cheap novel, from an abusive childhood on. The bopps don't seem to stop, but the more that I put myself back into all that stuff in the past, the worse it seems. I just don't allow my self back there in that part of my head anymore. I'm making another new life here, and I'm excited about it. If I hadn't had that last bopp, I would still be selling real estate and convincing myself that I liked it. I didn't see a door to nursing open. I was trying to find a part time job or a new job to keep me going, and no one would hire me. Finally one day I thought, "The hell with this!" I always wanted to be a nurse or an airline stewardess (don't ask me why). Well I'm too fat to be a flight attendant, and they're all going out of business anyway! I have also had some great people, times and things in my life. I have always approached others as a care giver. I am going to be a nurse. I don't have any money and my hubby makes too little to put me through school but too much to get any aid, I'll just work my way through it, and get as far as I can.

I swear to you, if you don't give up, and just start offering yourself to positive searching for a better future than past, you will find it. I wish I was there to help you, but I'm not so I'll pray that something or someone comes into your life soon to help get you through this. Just curious to know, how far are you from Ava, MO? I have ex family there who are still friends.

My daughter told me the neatest thing once. She said: "If you don't like where you are, Mama, Move on!" Then she recited this little motto,

"To move on from where you are, decide where you would rather be. Decision determines destiny." It has become my motivator.

Again, God Bless.

rn/writer, RN · Jan 15, 2005

But when some one is actually doing this to you knowing your circumstances and you are alone, does that mean I can never ever own anything and have to keep giving away everything that I worked for. Because I can't keep carrying my stuff up and down stairs. everything you have said makes very good sense on paper. but since I am not the bionic woman that I once was and I don't have wings to fly out of here I am confused as how to get some where that may or may not be better after all if I am going to be forced to live like an animal please give me that lethal injection and I will not take a pill to make others feel better for what they have done to me. rest asured that I would not do this to myself.

I'm not sure what the last part of this message means. Could you clarify?

How are you being forced to live like an animal?

Like stevierae, I thought you were a guy. Don't know why. On re-reading the thread, there was never anything specifically saying that you were male. I have now reconfigured you in my cyber-brain.

I'm glad your hearing gave you some satisfaction. What kind of hearing was it? What's at stake and who is deciding? How long will it take for you to get some results and what are you hoping for?

That's the ultimate question here. What are you hoping for in general? Whether you get some remediation from this hearing or not, you still have to make some kind of life for yourself and it sounds like you're stuck.

Where in Wisconsin are you? At one point you said you can't relocate. Is that due to a lack of transportation? How big is the town you're living in? If you have grandchildren nearby, you must have some kind of support system.

Regardless of your geographical limitations, are you willing to relocate internally? Maybe you'll find it easier to move on now that the hearing has taken place. I hope so.

Someone on this thread reminded me of the old saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. I agree with the concept but I prefer to believe that God closes windows and opens doors. Catastrophe should never be the last word. Which is not to say that trying times and scary, awful circumstances don't hurt. It's only to say that even absolute manure can be redeemed when it's used as fertilizer.

If you don't want to curl up and die, what DO you want to do? And what are you doing to make it happen???

I'm sorry you've been through so much crap. It's not insensitivity that is making me urge you to get beyond your grim outlook but the understanding that cursing the darkness does nothing. Nothing good, anyway.

Tell us more about your day-to-day circumstances and maybe we can help you brainstorm ideas for a new life.

If you could do anything, what would it be?

Old Japanese proverb: Fall down seven times, but stand up eight.

Miranda F.

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Jan 15, 2005

31 years ago I lost my husband, 28 years ago I was in a major MVA, 27,26,25 years ago had major surgery,21 years ago my house burnt,16 years ago I lost my house and had major surgery, 11 years ago got my RN License. Do ya think maybe it's time for some peace?

Not being sarcastic, but is there ever any peace in life

Ive found it to be one conflict after another and on and on and on etc

stevierae · Jan 15, 2005

Not being sarcastic, but is there ever any peace in life
Ive found it to be one conflict after another and on and on and on etc

So true--to quote the late Gilda Radner:

"It's Always SOMETHING!"

rn/writer, RN · Jan 15, 2005

So true--to quote the late Gilda Radner:
"It's Always SOMETHING!"

Gotta love Rosanne Roseannadanna. :chuckle

Then there John Lennon's :smokin: take on it--Life is what happens when you're making other plans. :eek:

Or Steve Miller's--roll with it, baby. :roll

Hey Malt123, has anything good happened to you. What are you thankful for? There must be something that has gone your way and made you smile? Tell us about the g-kids for starters.

Miranda F. :nurse:

Malt123 · Jan 16, 2005

Gotta love Rosanne Roseannadanna. :chuckle
Then there John Lennon's take on it--Life is what happens when you're making other plans.
Or Steve Miller's--roll with it, baby. :roll
Hey Malt123, has anything good happened to you. What are you thankful for? There must be something that has gone your way and made you smile? Tell us about the g-kids for starters.
Miranda F.

I have a 3 year old grandaughter and the grandson is almost 8. daughter is not well so the kids are here a lot. I have a bed room just for them. the stress that I have been going through plus worrying about my daughter and the money issues gets to be a bit much at times. this stupid hospital here over dosed my daughter and almost killed her awhile back then they neglected the fact that the infection my grandaughter had was resistant to the ABT and she almost went septic. otherwise everything is fine. My job would have helped everyone in this family.

stevierae · Jan 16, 2005

I have a 3 year old grandaughter and the grandson is almost 8. daughter is not well so the kids are here a lot. I have a bed room just for them. the stress that I have been going through plus worrying about my daughter and the money issues gets to be a bit much at times. this stupid hospital here over dosed my daughter and almost killed her awhile back then they neglected the fact that the infection my grandaughter had was resistant to the ABT and she almost went septic. otherwise everything is fine. My job would have helped everyone in this family.

You still haven't answered: Is there ANYTHING that makes you happy? Anything that makes you smile? Anything that gives you pleasure? My goodness, ain't it grand to just be ALIVE? I have been reviewing oncology patients' charts over the past few days--MY GOODNESS! What they'd give for just one more day on earth!

Not our business, of course, but why can't adult daughter be responsible for he OWN kids, rather than putting the additional burden on you?