I snapped - page 2
Well, I have just completed the most hellish evening of work I have ever done in my years of nursing. I went of the deep end, and I am feeling just totally disgusted with myself, I ... Read More
Jun 17, '02Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 1,614; Likes: 2I'm sorry about all this hassle for you sundowner. Your out of whack for having a slight dim veiw of bertha. I'm trying to figure out how a person could annoy you like your indicating bertha did.
You know, sometimes it's the environment that can be condemned, and then that working environment will condemn you
You describe a pretty hellish environmnet. I would have insisted the burnt out CNA leave, because no one wants to see that blatent disregard for others at work.
Then you hafta put your hands on bertha. Whatever your status, it is wrong to touch someone in a hostile fashion. Some people react adversely to physical contact, duh. :-)
Snapping, well, I say it's the environment. In psychology I learnt a cool way of looking at this mathematically:
This means Behavior is a function of (Personality times Environment)
Your dislike of bertha effect two parts of this equasion. It effects the environment yall share, and isn't healthy personality wize. Plus, your shared working environment is willy-nilly as described and you have a computation of reality stacked against goodness and rightousness. Amen
You'll be okay and I'll be thinking positive thoughts about you during my day today.
Jun 17, '02Joined: Dec '01; Posts: 3,165; Likes: 59Originally posted by Peeps Mcarthur
I think that "Bertha" should have backed you up on your decision.
If Bertha stopped you physically then that is assault........
I remember once when someone rushed over and grabbed me, and I just plain instinctively reacted-- I smacked her!!
no thought to it at all; it was totally reflexive.
Happened so fast,
we both freaked! :stone :imbar and then :kiss apologised to each other. (Good thing we were friends.... we let it go with a )Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Jun 17, '02
Jun 17, '02Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 892; Likes: 3Sundowner, is there a lot of ongoing stress in other areas of your life?
It is the "out of control" part that is frightening.
What would you have done if Bertha had escalated? If she had pushed you ...grabbed your arm and said " let loose of my ******* arm, you crazy _itch!!!!!!!!!"
What would you have done?
If your reply is you would have let loose of Mr. Wheelchair and jumped her, then................No, you are not crazy, yes, you could benefit a lot from discussing your anger with a professional.
My bet is there is something going on at home.
Who are you really mad at?
Jun 17, '02Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 3,725; Likes: 459All I can say is that I think you were right and on the money when you took Mr. Nasty to his room. Bertha had no right to stop you, nor did you have a right to grab her. I think at that point, I would've let Bertha take the patient and I would've stepped outside for a much needed cool down.
But who am I? I've not worked anywhere as a nurse yet. I'm just giving my idea.
Jun 17, '02Occupation: Acute Rehab Nurse Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 311; Likes: 1Your poor thing.....I think we have all had these types of days....or nights....or evenings!! I admire you for your honesty and desire to set the 'record' straight with 'Bertha'. Kudos to you dear.
Remember the famous line from Scarlet....."after-all, tomorrow IS another day"....don't sweat the small stuff....well-this was alittle more than 'small stuff', but you know what I mean.
I had a patient, I'll call him 'Mr.I'll-make-your-life-hell'. He was a smoker, as in chain, and wanted to go out all the time even though he signed a statement and verbally agreed with the policy on times. Anywazzz, he comes to the desk 30 minutes early DEMANDING to go out NOW!! At the same time, I have a patient who is c/o 'not able to breathe' although she is yelling it at the top of her lungs and crying loudly! I tell Mr. hell that he will have to wait until the agreed upon time to go out and that I have an emergency....sort of......I calm the other patient, give her O2 and make sure she is stable and happy...just wanted some TLC. I go back to the desk....Mr.hell is waiting for me. He starts in with his demands, cursing like a drunken yak (do yaks actually drink and cuss??) Anyway, I tell him I'll go find someone to go out with him since I quit smoking 5 years ago...sometimes I think I could use a smoke now and then....but $5 a pack.....???
Back to my story..Mr. hell states the following in a VERY LOUD voice, "You are a fat-azz, lazy bit@h"...Somewhat shocked, I looked him straight in the eyes and responded, "Mr.hell, Lazy I'm not, and my fat-azz is none of your business, but sometimes I am a bit@h, so what's your point??" Needless-to-say, from that point on he treated me with the nicest attitude after that until I left that facility.
I'm out of LTC for as long as I can stay out. I love the elderly and miss the repore, but the stress was almost killing me.
Shake it off, take some time for just you and do the best you can......good luck and here's a cyber hug for ya:kiss
Jun 17, '02Joined: Jul '00; Posts: 11,351; Likes: 387We've all snapped a bit once or twice. I agree you shouldn't have grabbed her or threatenned her, but who hasn't just freaked once or twice. If it makes you feel any better I ripped an anesthesiologist a new one a few weeks ago....
Jun 17, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 2,065; Likes: 48originally posted by sundowner
omg! "going nursing"
i am rolling around in hysterical fits of laughter....thought secretly worried that it will be me!
no l'm next in line, but my hospital is only 2 stories high:d l'm keeping a good thought for ya...keep us posted about how this turns out....as for bertha....i know someone who knows someone who says they will beat up anybody for payment of a case of beer........lol! l never took her up on it but l still have her number if you want it....:roll ....lr
Jun 17, '02Occupation: Nurse Educator: love those students! Specialty: Med/Surg,ER,L&D,ICU,OR,nrs. educator ; Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 968; Likes: 41Bertha shoulda backed ya!
Step aside from a flushed-faced GOOD nurse!
Jun 17, '02Occupation: LPN, agency nurse, LTC Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 236; Likes: 3Well,
Just a little update. I called my agency today and told the big boss what went down. She was a suprised as I was at the whole thing, and actually got a chuckle out of it then yelled at herself for laughing.
She informed me that she hadn't heard any word from the facility but said she would keep me posted.......about a half hour later she called me back and told me that they infact had called her while she was talking to me....but she had been caught in a game of phone tag with them and would speak with them tomorrow.....oh well.
Now as the day progressed and I look back at the events in hind site......I have begun to question weather or not Bertha dear put her hands on me first to get me to let go of the chair. This is fuzzy for me because in my heated rage.....well you know how that is. I actually didnt recall what exactly I had said to her untill the CNA's told me....I knew I had my hand on her...and I knew I said something bad but couldnt recall exactly what.
I have also been considering possible causes of my temporary insainity. I dont think stress is the cause. I am quite happy at home,,,,though that work environment is rather hellish. I had been having a really good day despite the minor incident earlier in the day and the idiot CNA ...I was enjoying providing a little tlc to the residents. I cant understand what happend to me. My darling husband thinks it is a sign that I need to get p'od more often...that I supress to much anger and it builds therefore exploding at the wrong place and time.....this is a possibility. I have also been having incrdible mood swings since the beging of the year and am wondering if the change of life is hitting me early and hard. Then I remember how my Mother was....oh my she could snap! So needless to say I have made my self a doctors appointment.
Bertha on the other hand has been a source of annoyance to me from day one.......for some reason . I have disliked many of people in my day, but this woman takes the cake, I dont know if dislike is even the word here. Prior to this occurance she has been annoying, but no more annoying than many others I have met, there is just something about her that rubs me really wrong.
Of course still, none of this justifys my behavior. I am feeling much better after having talking to my boss.
Jun 17, '02Joined: Dec '01; Posts: 3,165; Likes: 59Glad you feel a little better now.... keep us posted, honey, ok?
Jun 17, '02Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 1,614; Likes: 2Yeah - it's amazing what good old fathe time can do to everything...makes things better. I am sorry to say you were wrong Sundowner, and I hope I didn't come across as a pious creep that I am not :-)
For a guy, I wouldn't even dream of physical violence except if i got kicked in the grion, or my face scratched. Then I would strike back.
It's a matter of just walking away. I think you have great restraint, but when that bertha nurse touched you, the death grip ensues. BTW, which is stronger....a death grip or the G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip? :-)
I'm glad this is more than a day old now for you. I'm sorry if I seemed hard.
Jun 17, '02Occupation: LPN, agency nurse, LTC Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 236; Likes: 3NO MARIO!
Dont be sorry to say that I was wrong! I was most certainly way out of line! You most certainly have not impressed me as a creep......yet anyway! lol!
You didnt seem hard to me.....just honest which in my opinion is the only way to be. I thought your post was insighful and it caused me to think about the situation more so than I had .......which is always a good thing!
For future reference....I think the death grip is more deadly than the kung-fu......and by far much more hellatious than the vulcan pinch.
Jun 17, '02Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 1,614; Likes: 2You know, maybe there should be bo-bo blow up dolls around some of these places. A "bo-bo" doll was cool because it is designed for you to beat it up, and it always returns to an up position. And it didn't break if you punched it really hard.
This way nurses and other staff can hit on these "weeble" dolls and get a little exercise in too. Make the doll could look like a frail nurse with a deathly expression. Make it okay for anyone to kick or punch the doll. Or, you could pick the doll up and beat someone else with it. In order to avoid people "penting up" anger, and calling to light any visable "pent up" anger. If any nurse started acting all stupid, you could wrap them with the Bo-bo doll
Does anyone remember the study about behavior with Bandura and the Bo-boo doll?