GOD!!! is this legal??? about family members???

nimbex, RN · Sep 18, 2002

My guess is that a couple of things come into play, my experience is both sides of the staffing and management fence.

We know what the family wants....

What do the nurses want... If a nurse feels comfortable taking the assignment knowing that the family shows disfavor, the nurse should be encouraged and supported for taking the challenge. "I know you prefer I didn't care for your dad, but I am a competent nurse and enjoy taking care of him... tell me what turned you off about me..." This is a hard question to ask... even harder to listen to the answer but it helps identify WHY the family is choosing one over the other... it could be as simple as one nurse placing a cold washcloth on a forehead.. while the other removed the blanket when the patient was hot.... we never know what goes through their minds

continuity of care is very important to the patient and family.

So it the sanity of the nurse, I just changed assignments after 3 nights with a difficult patient and very difficult know it all EMS son. The family demanded I take care of mom and wanted to know why on night 4 I wasn't assigned.

I replied that on night 4, I was very exhausted and couldn't give mom and family the care and nurturing that was required, they needed a nurse that was "fresh" who could meet mom's needs. Did this make me less of a nurse? some might say yes.... I feel that I'm human and should recognise and be supported when I'm burnt out. The family had no problem with this and I assured them that I would share my knowledge of their mom with the new nurse if it benefited in her care and spent time talking with them (even though I didn't want to ) to show that I was still supporting them.... in a different way.

Long story short... consider yourself blessed that you have made a positive impact with this family.... Consider yourself a strong nurse for recognising and standing up to your limitations of meeting their needs day in and out....

Any one, especially your supervisor, should see switching assignments when the nurse is burnt out as an asset to the patient and family. You may just need to help the supervisor see just how understanding she really is to the patients needs:roll

good luck , stand your ground

llg, PhD, RN · Sep 18, 2002

Here's one more thing to consider:

When a family member (or patient) requests that a particular nurse NOT be assigned, the hospital is putting that nurse at risk for legal action (or at least abuse) if they assign him/her to that patient.

While it is sometimes necessary to have a serious talk with family members about why they can not control everything that happens, it can be a big mistake to force a nurse on them they do not trust. Sometimes, the nurse needs protection from the patient/family and the best way to provide that is to not put them together.

llg

mboyce · Sep 18, 2002

Pamelita:

I always ask for the patients no one else wants to take, it gives the others a break and makes me a better nurse.

The advocate's choice is an expression of her confidence in you and of her own fear and helplessness.

You can choose . . . she can't, not right now. by working with her you can help her to acquire confidence in others and to diminish her own weaknesses.

beckymeds · Sep 18, 2002

We had this problem in my facility. The same staff took care of the same residents. This is good because they get to know the patient and their habits and can help them more efficiently. This becomes a problem when things are going on with the patient and it isn't caught because someone different hasn't taken care of them. There is of course the "burnout" issue.

Pamelita · Sep 19, 2002

Hey guys....

Thank you so much for all your replies. I see different side of things now. I never had family members complain about me, instead I always been on the "good list" of the most difficult family members. To be a new nurse this is new for me. I believe a nurse should not take care of the same patients for weeks and weeks because at least in my job many nurses become in "automatic pilot" family members become closer to you and start being more demanding and they start blaming on you all the things that happened to the patient, even though is not your fault. With this particular daughter, she is a person that to me is not on her right mind, I don't think she has a clue what her dad's condition is therefore I don't respect her wishes of controlling the staffing. I am not a private duty nurse and I told her that.

My supervisor is the weakest person, I don't look up to her anymore, its really sad...

Flo1216 · Sep 19, 2002

I believe in promoting continuity of care, but within reason. If the nurse or CNA that this woman likes is not available or has the day off, she should be willing to compromise. I do believe in keeping staff with the same patients, if possible. But sometimes, if one team is heavier or more difficult than another, staff will rotate teams. It's only fair.

Flo1216 · Sep 19, 2002

Pamelita-I remember one time we had a pt in an isolation room because it was the only one available at the time, even though he wasn't on isolation. Well, later on we were getting a pt from the ER who required isolation and another bed in a semi-private room had opened up. So we arranged to move the man to the semi-private room and his wife FREAKED. First of all, she wasn't paying for a private room yet she demanded one. We explained to her the situation and she demanded that the isolation pt stay in the ER because she did not want her husband moved. She asked to speak to the supervisor. The supervisor came up and kissed her ass and the patient got to stay in the room. I don't know what happened to the isolation pt. All I know is that I went home that night and played for a plague of flies to eat her face. And I was mad at the supervisor for giving her her way.

Pamelita · Sep 20, 2002

Hi again...

well guess what guys... the daughter put me on the "bad" list over the week. NOw I am one of the nurses now "allowed" to take care of her dad. There is only probably 2 nurses left that are not on the bad list because they haven't had him yet. There is other nurses that just put themselves on the bad list, ha,ha

Today I had a very good team. When we were giving report the daughter called and asked the charge nurse who was the nurse, cna and RT and she c/o because she didn't know any of those people, oh well, my charge nurse stayed strong and said that she could talked to our supervisor. It's insane!!! I am on the bad list not because I am a bad nurse or gave her dad bad care, she put me there because I stood up for myself and told her that I WILL NOT change my assigment or pick her dad up just because she wanted me too. Supervisors just cover their butts, I am so tired of fighting for my rights, so frustrated to have a voice. Right now all the nursing staff is c/o about the same thing, we have no power whatsoever, its so sad. I hope things get better, I am happy I am in the bad list YEAH!!!

amylynn · Sep 20, 2002

Pamelita-Yikes! That sucks! I, too, am one of those that somehow always ends up on the "good" list and I am sure you don't like being on the "bad" list, even though you get out of the situation. I work in Peds ICU and this "list" thing with patients and families happens all the time--at least 1x per month. I try to stay away from any family like that. I do not believe in families playing favorites. It only causes problems, not only with the family vs. staff, but with staff vs. staff. I witnessed a "on the list" nurse belittle and condem another "off the list" nurse to her face because she was not on "the list", had taken care of the patient and the patient coded. Of course, you know that the patient did not code due to the new nurse, but that is not what she was lead to believe. She was run out of the room, and last I heard, she was leaving the hospital over the incident. Now come on. Shouldn't everyone be able to take care of everyone?? I received the same license as the next nurse. I agree with everyone above--the management needs to stand up to these families and take pride and confidence in their nurses.

caliotter3 · Sep 20, 2002

My daughter underwent surgery and was housed on the peds floor cus she was too young for the adult wing or there wasn't enough room, don't really remember. It was a 4 person room and she was the only one there. Since we had travelled far, the people were really nice and told me I could stay in the room, using one of the beds just as long as I didn't get in the way. I was very appreciative as this saved me room money and time and I was right there for my daughter. Toward the end of my daughter's stay another patient came in and her mother made it very obvious that she objected to me being in the room although she thought it was ok for her child to disturb both my daughter and myself and of course it was ok for her to act like she owned the room. I got so fed up with her pouting that I went into the hallway and spent my time in a hard chair. I never made a single demand on the staff and was grateful for everything they did for me. I certainly never got the impression that the staff thought they were catering to me and my daughter. Can't say the same about the other patient's mom though.

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Sep 20, 2002

Originally posted by sjoe

The question is not whether this is legal, the question is whether you want to put up with working on this unit and for this supervisor. (Even if they promise you pizza.)

:chuckle :roll :chuckle The pizza thing just gets me!!:chuckle