Bullies in the workplace

Milehighnurse · Jul 9, 2003

Originally posted by funnygirl_rn
In my opinion..I find women far the worse as opposed to men....

AMEN funnygirl_rn!!! I am there with you on that one.

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 9, 2003

I had a clinical on a floor this past spring that was just out of hell. The whole floor was full of bullies!!! One of the nurses there made one of my students cry (she was so mean), she also cursed at another student. They all ganged up on me and made me feel like the most inept, incompetent instuctor ever. I was sooo sooo close to quitting teaching after this bitter experience, but God have me the grace to rise above it. Hopefully, I won't ever have to return to that floor again :). Thankfully, all of my other clinical experiences have been great.

gwenith, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2003

I refuse to call this type of behaviour "lateral violence" or any one of a dozen diffent names. I now call it what it is bullying.

When we talked about "lateral/horizontal violence" we came close to justifying it. It is one of the reasons why, although this problem has been recognised for 20+ years nothing concrete has been done about it. Calling it bullying puts it into "do not tolerate" basket and takes away ANY justification.

Yes! Bullies are often weak individuals unable to cope. Yes! there is a degree of horizontal viloence fueling the bullying but lets not justify it.

Where possible the BEST outcome is to change the behaviour of the bully. It is not often you can manage to do that and almost never when you are in a position under them. The trick if you can manage it is to spot emerging bullies. Those on the same level as you and stop them from bullying. Getting yourself up form under is only the first step.

Milehighnurse · Jul 10, 2003

Originally posted by VickyRN
I had a clinical on a floor this past spring that was just out of hell. The whole floor was full of bullies!!! One of the nurses there made one of my students cry (she was so mean), she also cursed at another student. They all ganged up on me and made me feel like the most inept, incompetent instuctor ever. I was sooo sooo close to quitting teaching after this bitter experience, but God have me the grace to rise above it. Hopefully, I won't ever have to return to that floor again :). Thankfully, all of my other clinical experiences have been great.

:eek: Nice way for seasoned nurses to welcome aspiring students. God Vicki, how did you tolerate that? Were you able to get that situation brought to the attention of the UM/NM?

What is going on out there people? This garbage HAS got to S T O P!!!!

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 10, 2003

I am a very quiet nonconfrontational person who has a lot of insecurities. I was a brand new instructor with practically zilch orientation. It is very hard for me to deal with people like this. This was the floor that I referred to in a post a long, long time ago ("Code Status Error"). I think the nurse involved in the terrible error was out for revenge. Most of the nurses on that floor were viscious. The students hated it, too.

JuicyJem · Jul 10, 2003

Growing up when I complained about "bully types" at school, my parents would sympathize with me, but always remind me that there would be people like this no matter where I went in life. I have slowly developed a no nonsense attitude when it comes to this stuff being directed at me, but it took a lot of part time jobs with the exact same type of bullying that you all are describing. I am still in school (for 5 more months:)), so I have only had one hospital job so far. The thing I noticed was a lot of competition between the nurses like someone mentioned earlier.

I had a co-worker at a photography studio, which is what I have been doing to get through school, who was absolutely AWFUL to me every day that we worked together for 18 months. When I finally decided to stand up for myself, it was amazing how she got meaner. Its just the nature of the beast. Like one of you said in an earlier post, bullies have a low self confidence. It sounds cheesy, but its true. They are going to attack the newcomers that threaten them most, the ones who are sharp in their skills and have a personality and a work ethic that WOWs whoever is in charge.

A bully being a bully doesn't have to change who they are bullying. If you're a great nurse, student, CNA, whatever, you don't have to let anyone else's insecurities become yours. YOU are the one THEY are afraid of, or they would leave you alone and welcome you.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this so I wanted to put in my 2 cents. Thanks!

funnygirl_rn · Jul 10, 2003

VickiRN...how sad for you & your students...not very condusive for learning. I am sorry to hear that.

For the life of me.... maybe I am naive' or been sheltered or maybe BLESSED is the word I should be using... with a loving family, great relatives, the kindest friends, & co-workers/acquaintances I could ever ask for etc....but why would someone WANT to treat another human being with malicousness & a cold-heart...whether it be a co-worker, patient, new grad, or a future nurse...with so much contempt & nastiness....wouldn't it be far easier to be kind & friendly....you could make a new friend, or better yet make someone smile who might really need it.

But, being rude & callous to someone....certainly doesn't win you any points "upstairs".

Mira · Jul 10, 2003

I just got my Royal College of Nursing Bulletin today,glad to know that there is an increasing awareness about bullies in the workplace,and we are encourage to link up with others via http://www.rcn.org.uk,they said that it got a detailed advice and links to other useful websites.`got to check it soon.

mednurse · Jul 10, 2003

I worked with a social worker that was trying to bully me. She really did upset me and I was always so nervous to go to work. One day I reported her to mangement, she lied and denied everything AND the bullying got worse. It seems that bullies get worse after they are reported-but what else should the victim do if other interventions (showing self-confidence, etc) don't work?

2bPhD · Jul 11, 2003

This sounds like HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT HARASSMENT and it is against the law. It falls under the SEXUAL HARASSMENT laws. You can find plenty of information on the web. If you file a complaint and your supervisor doesn't address the problem then the facility that you work at is liable. It is not only wrong to make other people feel uncomfortable at work, it is illegal and you don't have to put up with it.

Nurse Nanna · Jul 17, 2003

I understand exactly what you're all talking about. I am a very non-confrontational person, until I have HAD IT!! I worked at the same facility for over 2 years. We had a "bully" who had been there 20 years (off and on) and knew everyone in the hospital. She is a horrible gossip, lazy, always asking for a 'favor', and makes a lot of mistakes; but she REVELS in someone else's mistake or what she perceives as a mistake because "it's not the way "I" would have done it.") After her bullying me for 2 years (she was a personal friend of the nurse manager) and me finally talking to the assistance manager about it and finding out that she had bullied many, many nurses over the years until they quit, I decided to STOP her in her tracks. She would do things like go talk to every nurse on the unit about "so and so made this mistake and I caught it and covered her a**, now I gotta talk to her about it." It's like Who Is She? Ya know, when you come in and at least 2 or 3 people say, "I heard you really screwed up yesterday" or "***** said you messed up such and such" it just starts your shift off on the wrong foot. She would write notes like: "I caught a mistake you made" and detail it with the person's name on the note, but not sign it, and leave it taped at the nurse's station where everyone could see it. She would walk into a patient's room and question you on something you were doing and go into "teach" mode because "that's not the way I do it" or "I've never seen it done that way, who taught you that?" Embarrass you in front of the patient and family. It took me a while, but I finally got her OFF my back by coming back at her with comments or actions that embarrassed her "in front" of other people. I would look at her and ask "Oh, gee, I didn't realize you were the new manager, what happened to ****?" or "Well, maybe it isn't the way you'd do it, but then, you aren't doing it are you?" One time, I handed her the IV bag and tubing and said "Well then darlin' why don't you do it your way" and walked out of the room. She come out after she was done and apologized "I didn't mean to make you mad." "Oh, I'm not mad, I just thought you wanted to do it your way." and walk off. On a med error 'she' supposedly found and decided that I had made and she left an UGLY note at the nurse's station for everyone to see-I called the pharmacy to let them know I had investigated the error and found not only the exact day and time it happened, but the person who had signed off, and the pharmacist said "I asked ***** about it and she said you had worked the shift before and had made the error." WRONG!! This is one where she had gone to every RN and LPN on the unit and said "****really screwed up and I caught it and reported it to the pharmacy." So now she is not only and bully, but a liar, because she didn't find a mistake, the pharmacy questioned a discrepency. So, I wrote up 'my' investigation of the error including my conversation with the pharmacist, photocopies of the dispense reports and pharmacy discrepency questionnaire and made several copies and gave 1 to the manager, 1 to the asst. manager, left 1 taped at the nurse's station "Attention: All RN's and LPN's-please read! Important!" Boy was she ticked. She really went into "I'll find something on you"mode. She made a nasty comment in front of the staff at shift change, (so everyone was there) and I looked her straight in the eye and said "Golly *****, I'm just beginning to realize how insecure you really are; I got big shoulders hon, and I'm no more perfect than you or any other nurse in this facility, so if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it." Some of the nurses started laughing and one said 'you go girl!" She stormed off. She came back later, privately, and asked "Have I done something to make you mad at me?" I said "No, I just have your number and I'm going to tell it like it is from now on. No more BS". She asked "What are you talking about?" I smiled and said "Think about it." I was always very good about changing a shift or a day with her or anyone else if they wanted off for kids sports, weddings, etc. She came to me 3 or 4 times and I said "No thank you, I think I'll just keep my schedule as is". She finally got the hint. No one else would change with her, so that left her "stuck". She learned to LEAVE ME ALONE. I have since left the facility, and I hear she is still bullying new people around. Very high turnover rate in that unit. Managers advice? Ignore her. ??????????? How can you when she's in your face everyday and running to the manager with "guess what I found." Whewww, thanks for listening. It's hard to do, but you gotta do it. Ya Gotta Stand Up To The Bully's!! And, you can do it nicely and or non-confrontational; not much they can say once you EMBARRASS the hell out of them in front of 'their own audience.' Good Luck. Nurse Nanna

jtfreel · Jul 17, 2003

almost 20 years ago i had a mentor who taught me a powerful lesson: work is business. her point was you don't have close friends at work, you have acquaintainces. you don't work based upon 'feelings and emotions' you work based upon standards and outcomes. in other words, it is a professional environment.

she emphasized that i would teach people how to treat me and that that would be with respect or without. she also emphasized that i was solely responsible for how i was treated. if i accepted unprofessional behavior, it was me giving them permission. in this process, i was always an active player and only a victim if that was my choice.