hi, i am so frustrated i dont know where to turn, then i found this great forum for nurses. i need advice. i am in a critical care unit just turned trauma. stress is high as it is. problem is, a nurse in my unit hates life, hates me, and hates weekenders which i am one of. no matter what i do or say, she verbally attacks me to my face and behind my back.
for example: LAST STRAW
last shift, i had 2 pts. our ratio is a nurse for every 2 patients.
i sent pt one to the OR for surgery approx. 3 pm. 2nd pt. i extubated and he died, a no code. she came on at 3 pm which is the last 4 hours of my shift. i work 7a-7p. she put the charge nurse up to asking me to take another fresh post op pt coming through the door. i said i already have 2 patients to the charge nurse. she immediately yelled across the nursing station "You dont have ANY patients!" I blankly looked at her and said "im sorry but i have 2 patients." I have post mortum care to do, (with all the calls and paperwork) and my other patient is going to be back anytime from the OR and I will be recovering him.
Comment from her, "You don't have any patients now, and you are not going to sit on your ass with your nose in the schedule book while we take another pt." (i was copying my new schedule into my planner so i know when i am working, which took 2 minutes, which i hadn't had time to do the last 4 days i worked.)
this certain person memorizes everyone elses schedule and can tell you who worked what holliday 10 yrs ago.
I said I was not going to take three patients when other nurses had one. Her next comment was "GO ahead, dont take it. i am going to write you up for refusing to take the assignment." i immediately went to the nurse managers office, and told her if she thought it is my place to take this patient, i will, but i am tired of getting verbally attacked by this nurse and being **** on.
she went to the unit and assigned the new pt to the charge nurse who had 1 pt at the time. as it turned out, i finished the death care at 7 pm and my other pt returned from the OR at the same time. in the meantime, she is going behind my back to other nurses working saying snide comments under her breath ie. "I'm going to punch her" "i am going to lay one on her" this is what i put up with every time i work with her, but when i go to a charge nurse or manager, it always comes back to being my fault.
example, after all this went on last night, everyone else went to supper or break. i asked if everyone else had gone, so i could take a break. i had only taken one 10 minute break at 10 am and lunch 20 minutes at 130 pm. it was now 5:00. as soon as i asked, privately to the charge nurse, she (with her big ears) yelled from a patient room, go ahead, they can PAY ME for MY lunch break! I did not go to break and quietly resumed my work.
5 minutes later, i am called to the nurse managers office. she told me to sit down, and she looks at me and asks "How many breaks have you had since 3 pm?" I blankly looked at her and said "None"??? She said that other nurse had just been in her office complaining that she did not go to supper and i want to take another break, and just had one after 3 pm. I said I had not had a break since lunch at 130. well that is not what I was told she said. i said i only had 30 minutes off the floor in the 10 hours i had already worked, and at 3 pm my patient just died and i was dealing with a distressed family and the pastoral care dept. she said i dont know who is telling the truth. RRRAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
now she wants the 3 charge nurses to meet with me and this other nurse in private. i dont want to. she is going to lie and yell more at me, and i am not up to it. no matter what i do or say, she will get away with it. many other nurses have been verbally abused by her and have reported it, and nothing is done.
i am ready to find another job. i love my job, and the patient care that i am doing. i am a christian, and i do not get involved in the gossip and back biting sessions, which she leads on a regular basis. then the ones that they are cutting up so bad walk in and she is buddy buddy with them. it makes me sick in my heart.
monday i am thinking about calling the er manager about a position there, but i feel like i am giving her what she wants.
i just dont think i can mentally handle this anymore. this was just one example of what goes on constantly with her. i do not egg it on, most the time, i am talking to someone else quietly, when she hears and chimes in. her house burned recently and i donated 20 dollars to her, and even called her to see if she needed anything ie. uniforms. i have gone out of my way to be nice and show a christian attitude. HELP should I change jobs or stay there. would you meet with her. what should i do. i am so unhappy and frustrated.
Nov 17, '01
on the shift in question, there was no secretary, the supervisor doesnt come to help with any kind of patient care, and we dont have nursing assistants. the other nurses were standing around talking so i dont think they were doing pt care at the time. this was just another situation that i was set up for, because NO ONE has ever been asked to take a 3rd pt, i had no idea how soon my pt returning from OR would come, and i feel very sure that the relief charge nurse would have ever asked me to except that he asked this persons advise and she put him up to it.
in response to one post, i help anyone who needs it. it is a busy trauma icu with many visitors and demands, phone ringing etc. most of the time there is no secretary anymore. no one else has a problem with me, so please don't make it sound that way. 4 hours was spent consoling family members over this sudden death event and whom did not leave the bedside until almost 630 pm. i spend extra time with family in this situation as much as possible. anyone who works in a critical care unit, especially trauma will understand how much work 1 patient can be on a good day. if i may also add, i have gotten several letters from family to administration regarding my care and consideration for them, as well as other co-workers who have gone to management without me knowing it until evaluation time with acknowledgements about how much i have helped them or have been exceptionally nice with a family or patient.
Last edit by hopefulnurse on Nov 17, '01