"Men should be EMT's or Doctors!"

[Antikigirl]

So our floor had this little old lady who was basically your general pain in the keester. Declined meds, treatments, tests...and was needy as all get go but no one could satisfy her. Very bold woman who likes things her way...and no other..family was the same and catered to her every whim...which didn't help us out at all! It was like she was on respite not being treated for a medical probelm!

We have this wonderful male nurse who is kind and very realistic when it comes to women having a probelm with male nurses during certain things (like bathing, cath, tolieting, etc.) and we always help him out in those cases. Well...I guess this woman read him the riot act saying that males should NEVER be nurses, they should get a set of testies and be a EMT or Doctor! Then she excused him from the room saying to never even step towards the door...this was just seconds after he introduced himself!!!!

I was furious!!!!! Here is this lady who actually is about 90 and was an editor for a major newspaper and she is being sexist??? Okay I think when she was trying for editor she had her share of sexism in her day!!! I was just so peved!

I took over care for her because she liked me quite a bit...and I had a little talk with her. I told her that I knew her son was an EMT, and my hubby is a paramedic. That I know that many EMT's and paramedics would like to switch to RN because of the pay, and actually getting to know a patient for more than 5-15 minutes in a screaming ambulance. Because of HIPAA they are not 'in the know' about their patients once they transfer care...so they stablize some of the worse things and never get to hear an outcome! So nursing can be quite nice because you can see what happens beyond the ER doors! I also reminded her and had her share stories of how it was like being a female editor....after that is sunk in to her what she had done, and she felt very sorry..but remained bull headed about not letting him in.

I think I did well...I knew this lady wouldn't respond to anything to put her defenses up, so I had to be patient and make her think of the reasons why she said what she did, and HERSELF come to the conclusion with a little proding from me that it was very insensitive and wrong.

I then talked to the nurse and we had a good laugh and he was fine, and then we both went to the charge nurse and wrote an incident report for verbal abuse and sexism towards the nurse. I felt that was right to do since you shouldn't ever treat a professional that only wants to help you (even if you are a pain in the keester big time) get well!

Basically I really made him see things in the right perspective by just saying "it really doesn't matter with her or some people what sex or color you are...they just want to make you miserable for some reason...just the lazy ones with no creativity choose sex or color because it is easier than actually getting to know a person! Plus hon...I think if she said anything positive or even smiled her head would cave in from the pressure! LOL!!!!".

Don't let the turkeys get ya down folks...

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

I suspect "witch" may have been a typo. Not in your post. The one by caroladybelle. Meaning no offense to those who proudly emulate female canines, either.

Perhaps, I should have just done the sexist ""itch instead.

(must not torture the mods...must not torture the mods...the annual Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays whinefest should start soon, and I will be getting plenty O'demerits)

[greyhair]

Good thoughts, people. I have been a nurse for 30 years and an orderly before that. I have certainly had to be respectful of my patients' wishes or concerns about personal care over the years and that is okay. I live in a small city and if a female doesn't want me to change her catheter or bedbath her that can be accomodated. When people don't want care because a one of my coworkers has a different skin colour that is not acceptable to me. None of us should be made to feel worth less because of our skin colour or gender etc.

I appreciate the way this situation was handled and think that reporting it was good. our employers need to know when and how often these things happen.

Still wouldn't change my career choice, it has been good.

[banditrn]

I look at things a little differently

At 90 years old, she should be allowed to feel what ever way she wants to feel. By God she has earned that right.She has served her time, paid her dues,and who knows what factors she faced while achieving her 90 years.

This world is big enough for all types, even me

Let the Democrats regain control, please Lord

Oh, NO, Tom, you're not using that excuse so that you can give me all the crabby old women!! No, way!:rotfl: :rotfl:

Yep, let the democraps win - then we can blame THEM for all the crap for a change!! :D

[banditrn]

Even though the woman may have grown up in a different era, she's living in today's world. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should keep all minority workers away from her too? I'm completely understanding of many things - as a male nursing student and health care worker for 6+ years - but I have definite limits. My job is to provide health care, not serve as a sounding board for sexual, racial, religious, or any other type of discrimination. Just because a person isn't used to seeing a nurse/phleb/tech/whatever that looks like me, doesn't mean that I want to hear how wrong they think it is. Period. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should we keep all minority workers away from her, too?

Nobody ever cured disease by listening to discriminatory ramblings.

What's funny to me is that many female pt's may have problems with a male nurse bathing them or taking an EKG, but have no problem with a male doctor performing a pelvic or delivering their baby. Oh, well. I guess I'll finally get my respect when I have MD behind my name .

CrazyPremed

Premed - you are SO right - those of that are older - like that 90 yo, myself, and even "teeituptom", grew up in a different time - but things ARE different now, and we have to adjust to it.

There is a difference between expressing your feelings and opinions - and being a total azzhat!! The OP handled the situation much better than I probably would have. I'd have been tempted to ask her why she was being so rude and demeaning - I don't care what generation she grew up in.

I've always enjoyed working with the guys I worked with - I only had brothers, and raised 5 sons, so I don't communicate as well with women.

BTW, teeituptom, you sound more like a libertarian than a democrat!:wink2:

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

BTW, teeituptom, you sound more like a libertarian than a democrat!:wink2:

I really am. But they dont have a significant powerbase yet. But I still hope.

So I am Democrat, but still vote Libertarian when a Dem aint running. Anything is better than those Reps.

Keep on Trucking Dems and Libs. Erode away the Reps.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Oh, NO, Tom, you're not using that excuse so that you can give me all the crabby old women!! No, way!:rotfl: :rotfl:

Yep, let the democraps win - then we can blame THEM for all the crap for a change!! :D

Actually, I will let you have all the crabby young people. Them I just want to slap upside their heads repeatedly.

Yes Let the Democrats win so we can clean up all the Republican Rectal Refuse. Its a dirty job but at least the Dems are up to it. The Reps just let it build to monumental proportions

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

WOW...ummmmm okay...didn't want this to be a republican vs democrat thing! No way! That would be awesome on another post...I mean...it takes away from what I was trying to say...and well, I thought what I said and the posts were important...obviously from responce the original message was respected enough for others to share their ideas...but wow...a political debate here from me sharing a story about respecting but acting what I felt was open, respectful but still playing by the rules with an elderly pt who was rude?

Democrats or Republicans...I don't give a rats patootie frankly since here in my lovely state, the votes are in and counted and in concrete before our voting boxes are even closed! It has nothing to do with this...this is human nature, not politics...and frankly I go by human beings first, and typically that is more than enough study for thought than going political.

I honor the feelings and expressed thoughts of the posters...but if I can request that this sway more away from politics and back to human kindess, nature, and respect it would be certainly appreciated by me...the OP. We have a ton of politics in this world...how about getting back to the basics of human nature that is so in need of addressing and helping in not only our profession..but in life!

Thank you kindly.

TriageRN

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Ok sounds good

remember politics are a reflection of Human Nature

Hooray for the Dems, lets Rule

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

Yes they are...very much so...but a part that is a forever lingering on a part that can be wavered just a bit to discover the foundations and actual human nature triggers in that that quantify the political preference and choices in ones life.

And if it helps...I don't think this patient was a democrat..LOL! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! And if a republican...wow, ummmmmm...pretty bold words for a conservitive...LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Naaaaa she was just being herself in a given situation...no reason to diss her for it...but no reason to simply give right into it either...but a good challenge to help her to see that maybe...just maybe...there was room for a little more thought, and less action (IE mouth). Who knows...she left soon after and I worry about her still in enjoying the rest of her life...which she deserves...and not being miserable with the system as she sees it vs reality of the way the sytem actually functions at this moment in time.

I just hope she is walking okay now...and has some happy thoughts about living her life out to the fullest while she is here...whatever that definition is :).

[banditrn]

Yes Let the Democrats win so we can clean up all the Republican Rectal Refuse. Its a dirty job but at least the Dems are up to it. The Reps just let it build to monumental proportions

Tom - what makes you think I'm a repub?!!:rotfl: It's kinda hard to tell the difference anymore.:) :)

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Tom - what makes you think I'm a repub?!!:rotfl: It's kinda hard to tell the difference anymore.:) :)

On some it aint hard to tell at all, ya'll